(Not) Layla Majnun
Mosaic 13

Qois Albifardzan

She's like a little fairy to me . Every time I see it I feel boundless happiness . Smile, laugh and talk like an opium.

Just a little bit of him getting hurt, it'll hurt me too . More painful even . I was like a shadow , who kept wanting to accompany her where her footsteps went . Not once can anything touch it except my permission.

Long time ago, when we were kids I neglected to look after her . We were playing in the neighbor's house . They have a tree keres . My boyfriend and I loved climbing the tree . Just because you want to tempt female friends who were not able to climb the tree at that time .

Stupid me, not realizing that he was also one of the girls. With his floor he said that he wanted to prove he could climb the tree .

I was scared immediately . Although the tree was not very tall but still I was worried .

I who was still on the tree asked him not to go up . And promise me that when I get off, I'll apologize to her girl friend .

But unfortunately, rice has become porridge .

I forgot , that he was very selfish . That he doesn't like to be underestimated . That he didn't like it if there were a lot of people talking about it . Even if it was a good thing, he still did not like it.

I'm going down immediately, and if only he could go up at least later when it goes down I can prop up 'em, and help him to come down. But alas , just now he climbed 5 climbs his legs slipped . And immediately dropped his body .

He fell right in front of my eyes . At that time my heart seemed to die and no more taste . My steps stopped and my body stiffened with no guts .

All the children were in a group to help him . He was unconscious, and it made us worry . All her female friends cried so much . The atmosphere grew tense as an adult came to us and then immediately took him away .

I'm the helpless one, only able to see it without being able to do anything . There were no tears, but my blood seemed to freeze suddenly. There were no wounds, yet I felt an infinite pain all over my body. It was as if I felt what he felt.

I peeked outside the room when the doctor examined her . He fainted, because when he fell his head hit . The doctor said he was fine .

I'm not afraid when Father or Mother will scold me . It was my fault . But , I'll be scared when she's invisible to my eyes .

He is precious, more than anything in the world . He is truly the breath that enlivens every passion in the soul .

A lot of people say that I'm overprotective . I admit it .

But if they could feel what I feel . Maybe they'll understand what I'm doing.

Not only Him . But Father and Mother are everything to me . They are my salvation, they are the motivators in my life .

I who was originally a kara , can feel happy thanks to them . They gave me affection, a feeling I couldn't possibly get .

I am the only one in the world . But they turned it into us and us . Completing what I seek forever I will never meet .

To me they are treasures, priceless ones .

Me , Father , Mother & Layla . In my dreams I don't want to leave them.

‘’ Gak Popo . Layla is fine . Your adek is strong '’ Said Mr .

You approached me . Maybe he knows my worry . My fear .

‘’ Really Sir ? Nduk Layla is not papa . I was wrong sir . If I wasn't naughty Nduk Layla wouldn't have fallen . ‘’ I said with a cry .

‘’ Don't have to beat yourself up . Your adek is like that . Next time take good care of him . ‘’ Book Father .

I was silent . You are not angry . Nor was she angry . They were afraid if I was too worried . How can they be as good as that, when their children I harmed and I was just a foster child in let it go .

Since then . I won't let anything bad happen to my sister. I take responsibility for his wounds and his happiness . I promise you that.

But I feel the difference . When Layla grew up . She turned into a sweet teenage girl . He has grown without me knowing .

Oval face with chubby cheeks. Sharp eyes with lash. Tiny lips, with a nose can be said to be sharp .

Sometimes looking at him from a distance makes me smile. She's so adorable . I wish I could keep teasing her, even if I could just hug her and muck her cheeks together . Ruffling her headscarf or just wanting to tickle her.

But all of that is only in the nods . She's my sister, but we're foster brothers . It's not good for us to be too close . I myself limit it, not because of prohibition from anyone . But I'm afraid it'll become a habit . And make Layla comfortable .

If only to me was okay . But I'm afraid that someone else will do the same thing and he's used to it . I have to keep not , and that is one of them .

He's used to messing around with me . Even shower , sleep together we do together . But I can't do that anymore . I was the first to grow up at that time explaining that we can't get as close as before . That we're brothers, but still not mahrom . That we should keep our distance . Not the relationship, but the intensity .

He was crying . He was angry and hated me for changing . I don't have the heart, I hurt her . But I did it for her . To take care of himself .

Finally I counseled him . Make him understand about our relationship . But still it was difficult for him , naturally he was a child back then . I at his age at that time also still want to keep together .

Slowly everything changes . After he entered the pesantren. He began to accept.began to understand our relationship . He is us who keeps our distance to me .

He no longer wants me to touch . He also doesn't like it when I'm close to him. Even when I just want to stroke her head or her hands when she wants to sleep she gets angry too . She became a fierce girl . But I like 'em, it means he can take care of himself . He knows his boundaries between men and women .

If that were all possible I could pronounce it . But lately I've been aware of the change .

Back then, dad asked me to borrow his ha-pe to contact Aunt Sarah . Father's brother in Tulungagung . I offered my Ha-pe but you didn't want to .

‘’ Get her hape Layla aja . I want to know the boy and Wa nan Karo sopo . ‘’ Said father of the time .

I'm stunned . Not expected, it turns out that you also know the change in attitude Layla .

‘’ Nggeh Sir . ‘’

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