A WIFE'S TEARS BEHIND A CLOWN COSTUME
Pov Setya's

Two chapters we'll give Setya pov yes.

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Hanifa.

The shady-eyed ayu girl, her eyeballs so clear, her face so soft, implying she was a good girl.

The girl's name is always embedded in prayer and lies at the bottom of my heart. I love her, I love her very much.

Hanifa and I live in a village, it is a village flower in the village where we live. Many young men my age fell in love with her, trying to get her heart.

But, I am the lucky guy that Hanifa chose. That night I expressed my love for him with a sense of groggyness and fear. Afraid that my love won't be together. Lucky that night after I expressed love, Hanifa's pure white face looked red and she nodded in embarrassment. ''Yes, I also love you Mas Setya.'' that's how he replied. I also cheered with joy. I can't help my so-so happiness.

After that without delaying the time, feeling impatient to have Hanifa completely, I decided to propose to her immediately. He just finished his high school. Yes, Hanifa just finished High School. As for me, I am five years older than him. I worked as an Honorary teacher at the junior high school in our hometown, in the Village in Jambi area.

Hanifa is an orphan, her parents have long died due to an accident while working, she was raised by Grandma and her Grandpa. With a handsome young man, Mas Abdillah. His biological brother. Me and Mas Abdillah were very close friends.

*

''Sally, are you sure you want to propose to Hanifa? He's just an orphan, he just finished high school. What do you expect from a woman whose origin is so pitiful! Beauitiful? She is indeed beautiful, but if only the capital is beautiful it is not enough!'' my mother protested that afternoon when I expressed my intention to propose to Hanifa.

While my father was not too dizzy, he approved of me marrying Hanifa. My father was a wise man, he was the head of the village where we lived.

''Yes, I am, think again. I also disagree Mas married Hanifa.'' said my sister named Hellen. The reason alone does not agree, even though I know Hellen has the same heart as Hanifa's brother, Mas Abdillah. Hellen's age was as good as Hanifa's.

''I have thought carefully, I hope Mom and Hellen will approve of my decision.

''Up to you.'' After saying that, my mother passed into the room. As for Dad, he cheered me on.

''Prepare yourself, later tonight I will accompany you to Hanifa's house.'' said Father with a knotty smile.

***

The next night the application went well. Hanifa and her family accepted my proposal. The day and date of the wedding have been set.

Day change day.

On the day when I said the Kabul Ijab, Hanifa was sitting next to me, she was wearing a white kebaya, she looked so graceful. I said Ijab kabul smoothly and clearly. ''I received the marriage and marriage of Hanifa Wulandari bint Abdullah with the dowry paid in cash.'' My hand and the hand of Mas Abdillah served each other. After that came the legitimate word from the guests present. Mas Abdillah appeared to shed tears after becoming Hanifa's marriage guardian. He also said, ''Setya, take good care of my sister, do not hurt her, if one day you feel bored and find a woman who is much better than my sister, bring him back well to me. Don't waste it.'' Mas Abdillah's message while patting my shoulder.

''Mas, just calm down. I'll take good care of Hanifa, I won't be able to hurt Hanifa. Believe me.'' answered me that night with confidence.

***

It didn't feel like I and Hanifa were married for a month. We are like most ordinary brides in general, we live our days happily, loving and appreciating each other. Exactly a month into our marriage, Mas Abdillah decided to migrate to the other country, Malaysia. Before leaving again Mas Abdillah advised that I take good care of Hanifa.

The relationship between Hanifa and my mother was so stiff and cold. Hanifa was already trying to be a good daughter-in-law. But my mother looks indifferent, so does Hellen.

Entering the age of our third marriage month, Hanifa stated positively pregnant. I was so happy, my gratitude increased many times over.

But our economic situation is really sad. I, who is only an Honorary teacher with a salary of a million a month, feel stressed. Our needs after this will be even greater, but my salary remains so-so. Expecting the help of my parents, I felt unbearable.

Entering the age of our marriage to five months, Hanifa and I decided to migrate to the capital city of Jakarta. I've decided to quit a job that doesn't feel guaranteed. My mother protested but what to say. My decision is round.

When going on a Transjakarta bus, Hanifa cried as much as she was separated from her Grandpa and grandmother who had aged. But I promise, I will always take good care of my Hanifa, wherever we are.

***

''Wow, yes. Does not feel like Daddy and Mommy's son is big. Soon my son will be present in this world.'' said I, my hand stroked my wife's distended stomach.

I felt sad to see my wife, as long as she was pregnant never once she asked for anything, I knew she must have had a lot of desire about food or whatever she liked. But he was silent, his face always looking shady. He never asked, in thanks any money from me he received.

I bought a motorbike with a handrail money that I brought from the Village, while in the Capital I worked as a motorcycle taxi driver. After looking for work everywhere I could not, I finally gave up, and focused on my job as a motorcycle taxi driver.

My wife was patient and always encouraged me. ''I always pray that you are given ease in making a living for me and our future children Mas.'' said the wife when I was about to leave for work. It was always those words that he said. Which makes me even more excited.

***

It doesn't feel like now that our son is born, he's a year old, he's very handsome, I gave him the name Arif. Hopefully when he grows up he will become a person that Arif again wise.

We also have our own house, a conscious house that we buy with the money we collect little by little.

We have not been home in years, given the high cost.

When Arif was two years old, we got the sad news, Kekeknya Hanifa died, Hanifa looked very hit, he wanted to go home, he wanted to go home, but the money we had wasn't enough for the fare and to buy the hand that my mother always asked for every time we made a phone call.

Two months later, Hanifa's grandmother passed away, again we could not go home because of the difficult economic situation. Hanifa could only cry and pray from a distance.

At that time Mas Abdillah wanted to help pay for the return, but I refused because I felt bad. I feel like a useless husband.

***

Entering the age of our marriage to six years, Arif's age was five years. My son grew up to be a smart, cheerful and handsome boy. Hanifa has managed to educate her, Hanifa is no different, she still looks beautiful with a natural face without polish.

That day I decided to go for the usual sustenance. I paid to hang out near the T-junction, opposite the city park.

As I was chatting with my fellow professionals, a woman in slightly open clothes approached us.

''Ojek yes,'' he asked, his breathing seemed dull.

''Yes Neng.'' replied one of my friends.

''Okay, take me home, my car is there, the tires are deflated.'' said the woman, her finger pointing towards the car parked under a tree on the edge of the highway.

Tarjo, my friend's name. Quickly he moved. ''Alright, let me get between the beauties.'' she said flirtatiously.

''I'm sorry, I don't want to be escorted with you, I want to be with this Mas.'' said the woman, she pointed at me. I nodded my head, feeling bad for Tarjo.

I stall the helmet, and the woman rides my bike, sitting in the back with her arms hanging from my waist. His open face was so clear I could see. Most city women like to dress sexy.

''You are the same handsome Neng, look out for Setya, do not forget the same bri in the house because of the smooth thighs.'' said my friends when I drove the bike. They then laughed out loud, They if jokes do like to delay.

My love I've given everything to Hanifa. I cannot turn my heart aside. That's totally impossible.

***

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