An Overdose of Love
Unable to see her proposal(Part 1)
Flashback part 1 before Karin's proposal
Rumors of Chris' intention to propose to Karin continued to disturb my mind. Tonight I cannot sleep well, for the beloved of hearts will belong to others so disturbing the mind. The best position anywhere, still makes me unable to sleep.
"Aaahkghhhh, why can't I close my eyes at all. Why does the name Karin always make my mind uneasy? Why does his face keep making me sleepless? And this time the news about his marriage that will soon be held, add to the mind of stress can not think anything more," a grouchy heart.
Because it still can not close the eyes, now I open the window curtains wide, to show the moon now shines not so bright, as if looking at me cynically behind the dark cloud fog, maybe the moon was laughing when I was in so much pain, over a messed up love life.
"Oh moon, do I have to mourn myself, for I cannot find love? Why is my story so bitter, that to carry it I am no longer strong? Fate now is not on my side, am I obligated to blame all of this? But the destiny line has been determined by the Creator of this universe, so that maybe I should learn more steadfastly again, and should not be thrashed on the destiny that has happened," I felt sad when I looked at the moon.
The shadow when we both went to school together, so excited to walk brimming in the mind, that I felt those days were very missed. If only time could turn around, maybe I better not ask my parents to find me adek. The reality of everything that has happened, makes me even more whipped over the ugliness, when he who can not be embraced as tightly as before.
*******
It feels so lazy to wake up, when today is day H, when Karin will really let go and forget about me.
Now you decide to have it.
I can't figure out what my flaws have been all along.
All of my imagination is gone no more.
Until the taste of the stab was so stifling chest.
I love and choose you.
But all is just wishful thinking.
Now I can't look you in the face anymore.
When that smile is just you pointing at someone you love.
"How come you're not ready, Adrian?" ask Mom when she enters my room.
"Lazy, Ma!" answers heavy.
"This is an important event. He is your brother" said Mama.
"What's important? Later if you see it even makes a heartache. He is my brother and the woman I love, so Adrian is so unable to see him later" I replied.
"Mom knows, Son. You are heartbroken, sick, disappointed, angry, dislike, even unwilling, but can you not for a moment think calmly about this? You've been all your might to get Karin, but fate still isn't on your side. Mama can't say anything more, when everything is arranged the same above. Mama every night every second, just prostrate to pray for the happiness of both of you, but reality is now not on your side, so Mama now can only see the play of your life, only, without having to struggle excessively that has been outlined," said mama's heartbroken tears, because sad over the fabric of our romance is not in accordance with his wishes.
"Yes, Ma. Forgive Adrian who always makes Mama cry constantly," I said that he had wiped the tears that were dripping on his cheeks.
"Yes, Son. Its alright. Follow him and continue your life later, because Naya is the woman who is your next responsibility," he reminded.
"Yes, Ma. Adrian will definitely not forget that obligation" I replied casually.
"Yes, already. You take a shower, change your clothes, then Mama and Papa will wait downstairs. It's a pity that Naya will witness this, even though she still doesn't understand" he ordered.
"Yes, Ma. Adrian will try strong today, hopefully."
"Yes, Son. Nice that. Just pray Karin's happy, that's with her new partner."
"Yes, Ma!" answer kepasrahkanku.
Now I'm getting ready to comply with Mom's request. Although heavy, but true to the words of Mama, for me to learn to strengthen my heart, when it is not stronger if you see Naya looks sad later.
The car has already sped towards Karin's residence. The heart is so stubborn, when afraid of not being able to see the event later.
"Maybe I am the one who must go now, if he is your heart's choice. Maybe it's enough of me that you hurt in your life, to keep you happy, "the constant rumbling of hearts, while busy driving the wheel.
Already at home Karin, but the situation is still quiet, which there is no sign of the prospective man with his family coming. Mama and Papa are down, but I'm reluctant to go down. Many times Mama persuaded, but she resigned and relented, who seemed to know if this was too heavy for me. My job is just sitting pensively in a car near the neighbors, while staring at people who are busy wara-wiri in arranging the state of Karin's house or visiting.