An Overdose of Love
Still in confusion
I don't know for this happiness, but why there is such a deep feeling of sadness. Netra continued to stare at the scenery outside the house, with her mind filled with problems that I thought I could not solve on my own.
"Why should I be this upset? Didn't Chris make you happy, Karin? Don't be swayed by Adrian's words yesterday. You know for yourself that your brother loves you very much, but that dark time has ruined everything" a heart murmur speaks to himself, who still does not understand the play of life.
Naya had been brought by Adrian to her house for two days, because she said she did not want to ruin my happiness.
"Mother?" naya's voice shouted.
Instantly the daydream dispersed, as the netra looked at the source of the sound. A smile has been etched beautifully from my lips, when I found out that Naya has now returned home accompanied by Mama Lidya.
"Hey baby, how are you? Mother kangen, here! You're not naughty, are you at Dad's?" I said who had approached him and immediately hugged.
"Naya is a good boy, Mother. Naya is also kangen the mother," replied her who had kissed my cheek.
"The mother's child can always be relied upon for good!" my answer is back to the love of his chubby cheeks.
"How are you, son?" ask her Mom.
"Alhamdulillah, Karin is good, Ma!" I answered who had kissed his back hand.
"Thank God. I'm sorry if Mama brought Naya home. Adrian had a sudden interest, so could not deliver Naya earlier," said Mama was not happy.
"It's okay, Ma. Karin understands, really. Come on in, Ma!" bargained.
"Yes, thank you."
Finally the three of us have entered the house of Fatimah's foster mother. The condition of the house is quiet only me, because the two adoptive parents are under the ground, to see the solid plants. Today I am off work, because the body feels tired due to yesterday's event is so draining, so try for a moment to rest completely.
Hufft, only a rough gasp could I take, when I no longer knew what to answer.
"Come, Ma. Karin is also actually confused over this relationship," I replied listlessly.
Naya is now playing alone on the floor, while we only accompany her on the floor as well, but a little bit away from her.
"Cok know? Are you still confused by your true feelings?" ask Mama again.
"You could say that, Ma. Karin is actually also in love with Chris, but somehow it feels really heavy to want to be with him," I explained with a restless heart.
"Does this have anything to do with Adrian Mama's son?" ask him again.
"Can be. But I don't know, Ma. Brother Adrian always seemed to be a shadow in me, so I went everywhere always followed, including in my feelings as well. I tried to forget all the memories with Adrian's brother long ago, but somehow the shadow of his love just haunts me. Karin does not understand all this, because it feels like all events have succeeded in imprisoning myself, to be unable to do anything else," I explained myself.
"Your mother knows all about your feelings. In the depths of your heart you still love Adrian, but your safety with Chris has grown a new love when you need to be hurt by Adrian. If this is hard, then stop all your relationships with Chris, so you can be calm and unencumbered again by this problem. Not that Adrian is Mama's son, you think that the evil Mama wants to affect your mind. Mama only helps anxiety, for what you feel now. Istikharah prayer is the best way, to know who is worthy to be with you. Ask directly in the deepest heart, who is entitled to your love," said Mama's advice.
"Yes, Ma. God willing, Karin will do everything Mama said just now. Pray for Karin to find an answer to this heart immediately" I agreed.
"Yes, Son. Surely it's. You are the child that Mama always loved, even though we are now separated by the house," said he who stroked my hair slowly.
"Thank you, Ma. You are a noble and kind hearted woman, who always put Karin first, even though I am not your biological child," I said hoarsely.
"Together, Son. Although you were not born in my womb, but you are a woman who will forever be a child of Mama," he said.
We kept smiling happily together. Mama long time away at the house of adoptive mother, who continues to accompany Naya to play. It felt really immeasurable for the harmony in our family, even though there was no blood relation at all. Mama Lidya's attitude is good and always friendly, always reassuring my soul, until I often felt at home lingering with him.