BECOMING HONEY'S SISTER
ANGRILY

Tired of facing all this. I know I have to be patient because it is not easy to soften the hearts of others who already hate us. Especially if the hatred is basic. It felt really like there was no hope, even though Asih advised that I should not give up. Stay optimistic and keep praying that God will turn their hearts to receive me. Nothing is impossible if God wills.

"But I've missed my daughter a lot, mbok. He was the same, even to the point that his mother did not love him. But if Ayu still can not accept me, it means I will not be able to bring my daughter here." I said, while lying on the lap mbok Asih.

"Yes ma'am, I understand. Be patient and never stop praying. Hopefully, Bu Ayu can change soon." replied Mbok Asih.

"Well why, Mil?" suddenly, Ilam appeared, I don't know when he came.

"It's okay." I hurriedly got up. I hope that Ileham does not hear much, and it seems that my hope is fulfilled because he asked.

"Miles? Why?" mas Ilham approached.

Maybe it is unfair if this anger I vent to Ilham, but at this time I really am not able to think clearly, so it is what I make my anger. All this happened because of our marriage. Mas Ilham should know, his first wife is ready or not to share a husband. If he is not ready, he should not just marry. Especially now that we have one roof. It makes me go wrong.

What Ayu and her friends said really affected my mind. I'm a gamelan, don't know what to do.

"That's okay," I said.

"Bok, can you come out for a second?" pinta mas Ilham's.

"Lho, why? Let the Asih mbok here. I still want to chat with mbok Asih, besides the work mbok Asih is done." I said, holding up Asih's hand so as not to get out of the room.

I don't want to get close to Ilham. Being with him will only increase the hatred mbak Ayu and her children. The same also extends the greater distance between me and Yumna.

But mbok Asih could not resist when mas Ilham ordered for a second time so that he immediately came out so that I could only snort annoyedly.

"Why the hell should I get Aish's mbok out. I told you I still want to talk to Asih!" I said firmly, with my face bent.

"So you'd rather talk to Asih than your own husband?" ask Ilham, he sat down next to me. As I moved away, he came back closer, this time hugging me so that there would be no more distance between us.

"Why the hell do I have to get close to everything?"

"Why really? Want to be close to the wife just can't."

"Later to get angry, Ayu,"

"It doesn't look like this, it's okay."

"That means you look, you don't dare?"

"Why Mil? Any more problems with Ayu? Or is Ayu back to bothering?"

"There's nothing. I just want the mas to be fair on Ayu's mom."

"I've tried to be fair, Mil. But fair doesn't always have to be the same, does it?"

Two mothers, for me a barrier bike to reunite with Yumna. As a mother, I could no longer contain this feeling of longing. To be honest I really felt angry, feeling played by them.

"Does mas still love Ayu's mother?" the question I shouldn't have asked finally came out, too. I really hope that they will unite soon so that my hope of returning home to Yumna can be fulfilled.

"Yes, I know. But I'm tired of seeing you guys like strangers when you're husband and wife."

"Why are you, Mil? Is there a problem with Ayu? Or do you feel uncomfortable if I keep approaching you? Mila, don't misunderstand me. I must pay more attention to you because I am pregnant with my child. I also behaved the same towards Ayu when she was pregnant with my children. So you don't worry if Ayu gets jealous. I told him before."

But still, Ayu could not accept me. Then, his attitude that seemed to accept me was just a charade. Yes, but Ayu was actually just expecting a baby in my womb.

"It's all wrong, mas!" I said.

"Why Mil?" mas Ilham frowned, did not understand what really happened, but I also did not want to explain because Ilham did not want to fight again which led to separation. "Did Ayu do something?"

"No .. nothing. I just feel uncomfortable if I pay too much attention to me."

"Then how should I?"

"Stay away from me!" I said, pushing the body of Ilham.

"But Mil ...."

"Go,"

I tried to drive Ilham out of the room immediately. Letting him linger here would only add to the resentment of his wife and children.

***

"You're why, Mil.. Now I don't talk much..Often confine yourself in the room. If you see me, you're avoiding." suddenly Ayu questions my attitude.

yes, I was avoiding him.. Trying not to always be seen by his handlers. The reason, because I was still disappointed with the conversation mbak Ayu and his friends. It's just that I haven't had the courage to expose my disappointment.

"What's wrong, ma'am. I just need more rest." I said.

Luckily I lived in a house that was spacious enough to avoid them. Moreover, plus the condition that is pregnant so it could be a reason to lock myself in the room for my health reasons.

"You're okay, aren't you? Baby too? Yesterday Ilham to intimidate me, thought you turned quiet because of me, but I did not say anything about you." Said.

Not directly, ma'am. But Ayu wasn't sincerely kind to me. Ma'am Ayu just had a show.

I'm actually worried, I don't know what else to do mbak Ayu. Especially to get rid of me from the side of Ilham.

"Mr," call me.

"Yes, why?"

"I'm sorry, if I'm wrong." I said, then went back to the room.

When I got to my room, I immediately cried. Right now, that's all I can do. Crying over my helplessness. I hope, mbak Ayu can really feel that I sincerely want to be a good honey sister for her. I don't want to hurt him or his children.

"Lord, please turn their hearts back and forth." I asked.