BECOMING HONEY'S SISTER
IF YOU DON'T WANT ME ANYMORE

"Mas!" call me. "This is the last time I spoke. I realized I had made a mistake by not obeying the words, mas. But I have a reason why I did it. Sometimes a mother can't use her logic if it's related to her child.

It's not that I don't care about the baby in my womb. I really don't know how dangerous it is for a pregnant woman to travel by air. No one told me and this stupid me was also unthinkable to find information about this. Because I thought everything would be safe because I didn't tell me either.

But if my explanation and apology still can't ease your anger, that's okay. I will wait until I let go of my mistakes. It's just that if I have to wait until the birth, I am also not a human being who can be patient as long as it is silenced for mistakes that I think can be discussed carefully. I am currently pregnant and need a calm heart to have this pregnancy. I will not be calm if kept quiet, especially for a long period of time.

Therefore, I decided with a heavy heart, it is better to send me back to my parents for the peace of my heart and soul." I said, affirming. This is the attitude I take for the problems that befall us. I can't survive in this state of silence. I need peace too. How could I have survived months of pregnancy at a house where no one wanted to talk to me.

"What do you mean, Mila?" ask me Ilham.

"I think everything is clear, ma'am. The decision will be taken after the baby is born. Unfortunately, I couldn't cry that long. I'm an ordinary woman with a heart."

"Oh, are you asking for a divorce?"

"That's how it is, mas."

"You know, a wife who asks for a divorce from her husband will not be able to smell the scent of heaven. You want to feel that, Mila? And your family too. If we split up, then you don't why your family lost the alimony we've been giving? Yes, Mila?"

"Mas .. I know all that. Think about my comfort too. Don't just demand it but you don't know how to make your wives accept each other. I'm tired of all this. I need calm. It's true that you gave financial security to my family with our marriage, but that doesn't mean that you can act with me at will. I have a heart too. Besides, my family also does not expect luxury by pawning the comfort of his son. They're ready to lose everything, just so we're happy."

"Oh so."

"Yes mas. Now please specify. If you're going to stick with your original decision, I'm ready to go home now."

"You're urging me."

"As a woman, I'm just trying to fight for my rights. I don't want to be hung like that!" I'm not Ayu who's going to beg constantly. I also have principles. If it is wrong, it should be straightened out, not frustrated by silence.

Ilham did not answer. It looks confused. Maybe I feel cornered by the demands I just made. Even though I promised, when this baby is born, he will still get the right to meet his child like with his other children. But Ilham still could not answer.

"Well, if you just shut up. I assume you agree with what I say." I said. Not much time I gave her to think. If he can join me, then I can behave the same way.

"You really are yes Mil ..." he snorted in annoyance. "All right, I'm sorry!" said.

"Really, mas?" I asked, between believing and not believing what I just heard. Have I really managed to melt the heart of Ilham?

"Yes Mila!" emphatically.

"Hem Hem," Ayu's voice made us reflexively release a hug, then move away from each other. "Is the breakfast ready?" tanya Ayu, followed by her children.

"It's gone." I replied.

"Guard the attitude in front of the kids!" mbak ayu said to both of us.

Breakfast this morning was very relieved because finally Ilham gave his apology to me, although Mbak Ayu and Iqbal looked at me with a sharp enough gaze. Maybe they are confused because of the drastic change in attitude of Ilham mas, even though according to those closest to him, Ilham is the type of man who is difficult to apologize for a mistake made by someone closest to him.

***

After Yumna came with me. Mas Ilham had prepared for Yumna to go to school with his children mbak Ayu others. The plan is Yumna will be registered Kindergarten later in the new school year because Yumna has never been to school before.

Actually I was a bit heavy when Ilham offered the same school as his other children because their school was very luxurious international, while we ourselves came from the village. I was worried that Yumna was burdened, so I ventured to apply for a school at a Kindergarten school not far from home.

"But it's a regular school, Mil. It also contained children who lived outside the complex here. The average child of workers and ordinary employees." said mbak Ayu.

"It's okay, ma'am. I think Yumna is more comfortable there. Not too much different from the previous environment. The cost is also certainly not too high and certainly his children are all indigenous people." I said.

"Duh, don't be. What people said later. It was thought that I and Ilham distinguished Yumna, but we were not like that." said Ayu.

"No, it's for Yumna's convenience." jawbaku.

"No, Mil, I don't agree. In addition, the quality of the school there is also not good. It's also called a village school!" mbak Ayu. "Yumna was already living with this family, inevitably she also had to learn to adapt to the environment where she lived so as not to be bored later."

"Yes, if Mila wants to be like that and believes it's best for Yumna. Go ahead." said Ilham, mediate between the two of us.

"What mas? Why that? What did I say was for Yumna's sake, but why was it opposed? Do you know how it will not affect? People will assume we are differentiating Yumna. Not to mention about his future Yumna. What if the school in an ordinary place like that, he could be like his mother." mbak Ayu.

"Why like her mother? There was nothing wrong." Ilham stroked.

"Ahhh. I think what I said was against everything. Next time make your own decision, when to charge yourself also everything so as not to bother others!" mbak Ayu passed away leaving me and Ilham both.

"Not to be taken heart, meaning Ayu is actually good, he just wants Yumna to get the best like other children." advises mas Ilham.

"Yes, I understand." I smiled.