BECOMING HONEY'S SISTER
AYU AKRIK

Seventeen missed calls from Ilham's mas number. But in the mailbox there was not a single message from him. What happened until Ilham called me that much? While drying my hair after taking a shower, I tried to weigh in, whether to call back or wait on the phone again.

No decision until the phone rings again. But not from Ilham's number, but mother's number. I immediately picked up the call.

[Only once rang, directly answered. But the phone from me has not been raised.] The voice of Ilham raspy. [You're really mad at me, Mil? But I explained Mil, I don't know anything. I know everything after you know. Do I need to be constantly blamed?]

I didn't answer, I chose to listen. I didn't mean to ignore the phone call from him. Especially that much. But his position was in the bathroom and did not know that Ilham called. There was no chance to explain back.

[Alright, if you're still angry, Mil. You can ignore me even though it feels so heavy because at this time it really needs friends to exchange ideas. I contacted you just to inform you that Ayu's condition is getting critical. At dawn he was unconscious until now. Some of this he mentioned your name. Looks like Ayu really needs to meet or just talk to you. His soul was really tormented. I am not asking for anything, let alone forcing you. It's all up to you, Mil. Forgive us for making wounds too deep for you.] said Ilham before hanging up the phone.

Is it my ego? I feel like what I'm doing is too much. I covered my face with both hands, sitting while leaning against the wall of the room. Trying to think, what should I do.

What if Ayu's age is not long? We haven't spoken yet. Or rather still hold a grudge against him, even though he has tried to apologize.

Oh my God .. This is really heavy!

***

[I want to go home.] The message I sent to Ilham. It didn't take long, there was an answer.

[Alhamdulillah. All right, I'll pick you up. Thank you Mil.] Reply.

[Not necessary. Please just send me the ticket.] I asked again. At the moment Ilham accompanied Ayu's mother in the hospital, I do not want her concentration divided. Let him focus on what he is responsible for.

An hour later, two tickets for tomorrow's flight were sent to Ilham. I re-imagined, meeting with mbak Ayu. What am I supposed to tell him? Can I look at him without the slightest anger?

"Thank God you'll be right back, Mil. Now I've calmed down after believing that your household is fine. The one you want to order, the one called marriage, there's gotta be a test. Whether it's heavy or rubgwb. We just have to grow up to face it." message mom, who doesn't know what's really going on.

I'm nodding. Then go back to the room to pack the things that are not much. Given the time we were about to meet again, it made me have to take a deep breath.

Can I really forgive?

In my own time, I try to find the deep, angry and disappointed feelings that were originally focused on Ayu. And the pain is still there because I'm just a human being. Although he has done a lot of good for me and my family, but his feelings have not been able to forgive a hundred percent. However, I was also afraid that it would be too late to meet and become a second regret because after all he was now a part of my family.

***

The plane from Padang to Jakarta has landed at the airport. This time I can take a more relaxed step with Yumna because I have been on a plane several times. The places to go after getting off the plane I've already memorized.

After taking the cloth bag, Yumna and I came out. There was a driver sent by my mother. The plan was to go straight to the hospital, but it was still noon and there was a big clock.

"Umi Ayu is still sick, Mi?" ask Yumna, so that makes me realize from daydreaming.

"Umi Ayu is sick what the hell, Mi? How can I get to the hospital? The pain is severe, right? Brother Hana and sister Sabrina must be sad. Ibed's sister too. Who's guarding him? That's a pity, Mi." said Yumna.

"Na ..." I glanced at Yumna. "Did Yumna love Umi Ayu?"

"Dear, Mi."

"How big?"

Yumna seemed to think for a moment. Then he showed a large circle from his hand.

"This big. Even bigger." he replied. "Umi this how the hell, Umi who told Na to love Umi Ayu and her children. It should be just as unfortunately as the affection for Umi. I see, right?"

"Yes." I rubbed his head gently. "If Umi Ayu makes a mistake. Can Na forgive Umi Ayu?"

"What did Umi Ayu do wrong?"

"Umi can't tell you now. But can Na forgive Umi Ayu?"

"Yes." Yeah." Yumna nodded steadily.

I forced a smile. Hopefully, later when Yumna grows up he can really forgive mbak Ayu who has hit Abinya.

Not felt, the car we were riding entered the courtyard of one of the largest hospitals in the city of South Jakarta. Near the lobby, the driver stopped and invited us in. She said she was waiting in the hospital lobby. I was asked to contact when I arrived so that I could be escorted to the room mbak Ayu.

For some reason, it felt like my heart was beating so fast. I was scared, very scared. Can not hold back the anger and in the end burst again in front of mbak Ayu even though the current condition is not okay.

"Mi," Yumna shook my arm slowly. "Come on. He said he wanted to visit Umi Ayu" Yumna said.

"Yes." I said. With rigid steps like a robot, I got out of the car, walking slowly until Yumna had to pull my arm to speed up the pace.

I don't know if I'm ready to meet. I'm afraid ...fear if the shadow bang Hasan reappears. Afraid that what I did was wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm really confused.

"Mila!" just as I was about to turn around leaving the hospital lobby, suddenly mother's voice had already called. He's hunting my steps. "You've come." Mom hugged me, then turned to Yumna. "Thank you for coming here, Mil. I know it's not easy, but Ayu really needs you. His soul is really not calm." said the mother.

"Do I have to see Ayu's mother?" a question I shouldn't ask, because my presence here should have been the answer that I was willing to meet.

"It's up to you, Mil." Mom handed it all to me.