Chasing the Love of Alex
Survive or Let go?

"I want you to be honest, Lex... You're starting to love me, aren't you? You only feel afraid because you have shared Anindira's love with me... You just feel guilty about Anindira, don't you? You just don't want to admit it.." lick Sonya.

"It's not just about fucking Anindira!!"

"Then what? Admit that you have started to love me... Otherwise you won't keep saying my name when you're drunk! You thought our love was just a dream, right? Which means you dream of me often... If not love, what is it called?" ask Sonya.

Sonya waited for Alex's answer with fear and hope blending into one within her chest.

"Murp... It was just Son's sheer lust... You don't expect too much." replied Alex coldly, Sonya's questions really bothered her mind.

"So in other words, I'm just your lustful gratifier?!" sonya's growling held back her anger by gritting her teeth.

"It can be said that way... If you're honest, you enjoy it too... Aren't you?"

Sonya's eyes that implied anger widened, Sonya took her bordeaux glass that was still filled with red wine, and immediately poured the liquid over Alex's head, making Alex's eyes widen with angry look.

"You..."

Sonya looked directly into Alex's eyes, her eyes met Alex's eyes, not at all hiding her deep sadness,

"I have a heart to love and be loved... My heart has been given to you, Lex... For you to love and you to love... Not for you to throw away and you wasted." exclaimed Sonya with a trembling voice and choked for holding back her tears.

Sonya got off the stool and left Alex.

"Sonya.." call Alex, her voice sounds soft given the anger that was raging inside her chest because Sonya had already doused her.

"Suppose I'm dead for you, too... From now on I will kill all my feelings for you... So that I can also assume you are dead... But not like you... I won't grieve for long because I lost you... Life is too short to be spent mourning a broken heart..."

Sonya strengthened herself, her shoulders stiffened as if she was carrying a heavy burden. He breathed before adding,

"And life must go on... I will open my heart again to find new love... I make sure I can still be happy with or without you." - Sonya said without turning her body and rushed into her room and locked the door.

Sonya was leaning behind her door, the tears she had been holding back were finally unstoppable, she was crying as she whimpered, her legs were squeezing and her body slumped until she sat on the floor.

"Enough... I can no longer face it... I surrendered... Papa will definitely not blame me for my efforts... I have tried my best to defend my home... Resisting my heartache because of Alex's abandonment... Because his words hurt.... But I couldn't stand it and just kept quiet when he just thought of me as his lustful... That's the same as assuming I'm p*lac*r.." so on.

Sonya closed her eyes, Ryo's words on the island came back ringing in his ears, "You're right Ryo... Why do I fight for someone who never even wants to fight... Ever since I expressed my love for her I did have only two options, to endure or to let go... What I don't know is... Both need power..."

Then what am I supposed to do now? If I survive, my heart will continue to hurt... Being let go makes my heart hurt...

"Papa... Kei... I need you guys.." sobs Sonya while hugging her knees, and sobbing.

Alex hears Sonya's wailing from behind the door, he knocks on the door and wants to open it but it is locked.

"Sonya... Open Son!!" alex shouted while banging on the door.

His heart was like it was torn to shreds hearing Sonya's roaring cry.

"Go Lex... Stay away from me!! You promised me you'd leave if I asked you to leave... Now I'm paying for your promise, it's Lex... Go and stay away from me!!!!" sonya shouted in a choked voice because of her crying.

"Then I'll go!!" yell Sonya again.

"You can't leave me either!!" raung Alex's.

"I would not if only you made your lustful... You just look for your other lustful satisfiers!! Your secretary may!!"

"I don't want another woman... I just want you!!"

"Anindira isn't another woman?" sonya's lips while squirting her nose with tissue.

"Woman who's still breathing shit!! You know what I mean?"

"No... I don't know!! I also don't know what you really want?!! All I know is you've hurt me!!"

Sonya got up and went to her wardrobe, then put her clothes in to fill the suitcase, the clothes she bought with her own money, not the clothes Alex gave her.

Sonya gently stroked the ring that had been circling her ring finger for months, before Sonya finally took it off and placed it on the nightstand.

"This is your family ring, Lex... The woman you love later is the one who is more entitled to wear it instead of me." Sonya muttered with tears.

Sonya looked once again at every corner of this room, the memories she had with Alex whether it was joy and sorrow, bitter and sweet, all involved in becoming one in her mind.

Sighing deeply and calming herself down, Sonya pulled the suitcase in her right hand as well as the suitcase she had brought while to city X in her left hand.

"Where are you going?" alex asked as Sonya opened her room door while pulling on the suitcase.

"To papa's house." answered Sonya.

"You can't just walk away, Son... We have to solve our problems first!" exclaim Alex.

"Our problem is over, Lex... When you only think of me as your lustful gratifier!!"

Sonya stepped back and again Alex's hand held her back, "I don't really think of you as Son..."

Sonya glared at Alex, "Not completely? Is that part love?" sonya and Alex just fell silent.

"means not... Then keep your promise Lex... Leave me and don't bother me anymore...Let me go!" sonya exclaimed as she brushed aside Alex's hand, and continued her footsteps out of Alex's Apartment again.

"Sonya... Listen to me first... I'm..."

"Stop!!" cut off Sonya, her tone sounded sharp and defensive. He doesn't want to hear Alex's excuse anymore which will only add to his heartache.

"When you're drunk I hear many times you miss me... If one day you miss me again... You don't have to drink anymore... Look for me at the bottom of your heart... Whether I am or not there... Maybe all this time I've been there, only I've been overwhelmed and left out among the ones you love the most... Even if there is no... You can begin to breathe a sigh of relief and again miss your Anindir and forget about me..."

Sonya firmly did not turn her back before finally rushing out of Alex's Apartment, and ignoring Alex entirely who was shouting behind her, calling out her name.

In the end the one who survives will be tired, and the one who struggles will let go...