Dear Mas J's
My world is ruined

"Second you let me do it today, huh? mas wait in the hospital, mother in the hospital." mas Tama's sentence was connected to the phone a few minutes ago always ringing in my head. Mas Tama just called me when my first class was over.

"Don't panic, ask Dirga to help you get and bring you here. Don't refuse, you just don't want anything on the street."

As per the instructions from mas Tama I waited for Dirga's brother to come to pick me up, it felt my head hurt and my ears buzzed to hear the news that mother was in the hospital.

"Ki, am I absent?"

"Where is Al going?" tanya Ajun who happened to be beside Kiara.

Closing my eyes for a moment and holding back my tears, I told them that my mother was sick. "Mother is sick, opening in Tjipto" I said. Kiara turned to look at me and pulled me into her arms.

Kiara tried to calm me down and whispered, "Gue's absent later, who is patient Al, I'm sure you're fine." I nodded in understanding while retracing do'a for the recovery of the mother. Only mother and mas Tama that I have do not take mother now Lord.

"Gue between ya?" haggar Ajun's. I turned towards Ajun and let go of Kiara's embrace.

"No need Jun, I was escorted by Dirga's sister." I refused.

Understand the meaning of Kiara's gaze to me when she asked for an explanation why Dirga's sister who picked me up and drove me to the hospital. I will explain to you later.

I reached into my phone during a message notification from Dirga's sister who told me that she was already in the parking lot of my Faculty.

"Sir Dirga already in the parking lot, I first yes. Later I tell Ki, thanks guys." I say to them.

"Yes, greetings to the mother of the same mas Tama. May you heal soon!" the Ajun cried out a little because I felt I had moved away from where they were standing.

I replied to a wave of Dirga's hands sitting on the hood of her car. "So sorry for bothering you" I said.

"It's okay, I don't have a job either."

"Today, sister's off?"

"You forgot I'm working on a thesis, huh?" said it. I didn't reply and preferred to be quiet. Was thinking about the reason mother could go to the hospital because as far as I know mother only complained that her stomach hurt this morning.

"Your mother is fine, your sister informed me that your mother's condition has improved." explained Dirga made me who was staring at the street turned to look at her. Thank goodness, at least I feel more relieved than before.

"I buy you this, drink it to relax" he said giving me a cup of my favorite hot thai green tea.

"Thank you's. Brother why are you good with me? don't be too good, I'm just afraid I can't repay my brother's kindness later." I explained.

"I've been helping you never thank you and I think you know the answer to why I can act like this to you."

"Alleta, I never ask you to react to my feelings, just let me always be there for you, it can already make me happy. Do not hesitate to ask for help, do not feel burdened with everything I do for you. Okay?" he looked at me sincerely just as the red light was on.

"Sorry brother, I can't. I don't want to hurt anyone, brother Dirga."

"Who said? I can't force you to fall in love with me, right? therefore quite walkin as usual, assume you never know if I have more feelings like you."

"Sister?" I feel like I can't speak anymore.

Why should it be like this? why did Dirga have to be so honest, so sincere, and so kind to me? we were again struck by silence until finally the hospital where the mother was treated was seen by me.

...ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ...

I entered the mother's room and saw Mas Tama who was talking to the mother. Thank goodness the mother's condition was not too severe, without greeting again I walked hastily towards them and hugged the mother as much as I could.

"Mother, don't be like this again. Ale don't want to lose anymore." I said with tears that have been freefall since.

I looked into her eyes and saw her pale face, her idle hands wiping away the falling tears. "Princess mother do not cry, embarrassed to see 3 heroes there."

I glanced at Mas Tama who had just silently watched us until I forgot Dirga's brother who was still here and unfortunately since when was Jefri beside mas Tama? I didn't see him when I came into this room.

"Al, I want to talk to you." Tama's words made me let go of my arms and wipe away the rest of my tears, I'm sure my face must be messed up right now. Mas Tama came up to me and pulled my arm slowly, taking me out of nowhere.

"Pending a little while? Dirga, I'll drop you for a second. Come on Jef." he said before rolling me out.

Noticing the two taking turns, I simply did not understand what they wanted to talk about.

Here the three of us are now, precisely in the middle of the hospital canteen.

Mas Tama just stared at me while Jefri was silent staring at the cup of coffee that he held since earlier, does the coffee look more attractive than me?

"Mass? when are you going to be silent? quick to say what's up? what's wrong with mom?" tanyaku.

Not the answer I got, the two of them staring at each other made me stare in their breath. "If there's nothing to talk about, I'd rather accompany you." get ready to stand up and leave them. My intention stopped when Tama asked me to sit down again.

"Sit." she insisted.

"Mother is sick." obviously.

"I also know why you are being treated if not for illness." I was upset when I heard the answer.

"Listen to the explanation of Al masmu." Jefri's advice looked at me. I went back to letting them talk.

"Dek, you still have mas and Jefri. Whatever happens later, we pass it together." said mas Tama seriously make my heart beat unbecoming. What the hell is this really?

"Doctors diagnose dementia."

I fell silent digesting the sentence mas Tama, seeking the truth through his eyes. Mas Tama can't lie about your illness, I know he's not joking and not messing around right now.

My tears are back. Why should mother?

How can you get dementia?

Obviously, I know very well what the consequences of the disease are. 

"How long is your hope to live?" I said softly, more precisely like muttering slowly.

"4-5 years. Al, everything is in God's hands. We have much to pray for the mother's healing."

"Mas, the disease resulted in death and no one has been able to recover from the disease. I-I'm afraid of bun-da." I don't think I can continue my words, mas Tama came up to me and grabbed my body making me cry even more sobbing in her arms.

My world was destroyed instantly.

"We keep this from the mother, tonight let the mas guard the mother. Invite Kiara and Ajun to the house to stay at home, Jefri will accompany you."

If the healing is there for the mother let the mother heal God. I want to be with my mom longer. I want you to be next to me when I marry the person I love, I want you to see my child grow and develop.

I haven't been able to repay my father and mother, but I will try to make them happy. Let us be happy for longer. I beg.

..........

Dementia is a disease that results in a decrease in memory and thinking. This condition has an impact on lifestyle, social skills, to the daily activities of the sufferer. This often results in the sufferer having to rely on others.