Diamond Luster
110. Mutually Open.

At night, Bintang is alone guarding his wife after arya and satria leave. Likewise with mama farida who returned home by Arya.

The star stared at the weakly lying Diamond without blinking. Guilt and unfortunately mixed into one. 

"I'm sorry, Lian" his sigh was full of regret looking at his wife who was resting. 

The star tried to dare to kiss Diamond's forehead despite the inappropriate feeling to do so considering the mistakes he had made. He was neglecting to look after his wife and future children. Because of his selfishness, he almost harmed his wife and prospective children. 

"I'm sorry papa, son" The star turned to stare at his wife's stomach. His hands stretched out to feel his wife's stomach. The star is eager to greet his future baby. 

"You must hate papa so much because you're so mean to your mom" The star pulled her hand back. He felt unworthy of forgiveness. 

"Why are you still here?. You should go home and accompany me" Diamond opened her eyes and looked at her husband blankly. 

"You're awake" the star smiled in relief. 

"How are you doing?. Is anyone sick?" he continued asking as a form of attention. 

Diamond smile bitterly. 

"What are you asking that for?. You expect something bad to happen to me?" 

The star shook her head gently and tried to show her patience. 

"Lian, am I really sorry that I made you like this?. I will never be able to forgive myself if until something bad happens and happens to you as well as our child candidate" he said full of awareness. 

"Do you know I'm pregnant?" 

Stars nodded. 

"The doctor told me everything" he said. 

"You already know that I'm pregnant, how are you feeling?" Diamond smiled bitterly and looked at the bland man who had made her perfect into a woman. 

The star chose silence and gave his wife a chance to vent all her disappointments and anger. Stars don't want diamonds to hold that feeling for too long so they can better themselves. This was the last time he hurt the woman he loved so much. 

"what do you want to do after knowing I'm pregnant?" tanyakanya. 

"You want to leave me or you want to ask me to abort the fetus I'm carrying?" 

"I love you so much Lian. I might not ask you to commit such a heinous act" the Star argued.

"What is not?. You just love a part of me. You can't accept me whole as a woman. I want to be the mother of our children. Can you accept that?" Diamonds don't cry. She tried hard and showed her who she was to her husband. 

"Are you going to force me to choose between you and the fetus I carry?" 

"Lian, please listen to me first" 

"You must listen to me!" diamond Sela. 

The silent star. 

"I can choose between you and the fetus in my womb. You can guess with certainty what decision I will make. That's also if you understand I'm doing that because I love you so much" 

The feeling was also the heartbeat of the chaotic Star hearing him. His soul was terrified, his body weak without bones, the look of his eyes signified a great fear. 

"Lian, don't do that. I beg you" The star clasped the diamond fingers. 

Diamonds pulled his hands, his tears gave up as well and spilled over his two eyeballs. 

"I can't force you to accept me for who I am. I also can't lie to myself if I can't accept your shortcomings that don't want to have children. If forced, not me or you will be the victim, but our child. He will bear the burden of the selfishness of his parents. I don't want that to happen" 

"Lian, don't do that. Please listen to me this time" the star asked expectantly. 

"Whatever happens with our relationship going forward, I hope you want to just see the face of our child once he is born. I want you to give her a beautiful name, give her a beautiful name. I don't want our son to feel his presence is not wanted by his own father" 

"Lian, I'm sorry" 

The star again grabbed his wife's hand and put it on his face. The stars cry like children. 

"I'm sorry" he said with a shaking body. His tears melted down his wife's palm. Diamonds themselves could not wipe away her husband's tears. This was the first time he had seen a Star cry like this. 

"you will soon be a father. You do not cry like this" said Diamond could not bear to see her husband depressed in such a way. 

The stars tried to calm his soul and tears. 

"Right now you must think that I'm the most evil human being . I didn't just kill my sister and stepfather. But I'm also your real mother's killer. And maybe now you're thinking that I want to kill my own flesh and blood" 

Diamond was stunned, he did not expect that the Star would think that narrow. 

"I admit, I was negligent in taking care of my sister. Every time I've been guilty every time I see a child. I'm afraid that if I have children, I can't take care of my own. I'm afraid I can't touch or hold my own child. I fear his fate will be the same as the moon" 

Diamond felt her heart being sliced at the screams of her husband's heart. Regrets in her heart arise once she knows what has been in her own pendam by her husband. He's petty, he's selfish. As a wife she felt insensitive to the suffering of her husband who had been buried for many years. True said her mother-in-law that she was too haunted fear if the star refused her pregnancy. 

"Every day I have to hear the makian om reza who calls me a murderer. I was beaten, I was whipped, locked up in a barn for no reason. Everything that belongs to me, and what I want is never fulfilled. All are handed over to Rangga. I resigned and accepted that I was treated inhumanely by my stepfather because I considered it as the atonement for my sin against the Moon. But when, om reza acted rudely towards mama, I didn't accept and I..." The star cannot continue the story of its past. Her chest tightened reminiscing about her pain. 

"I. I. I. I. I. b..." 

"Bin, don't go on anymore" Diamond quickly got up and grabbed her husband's shoulder, then hugged him. He let the Stars shed tears in his arms. Diamond rubbed gently on her husband's face, peeping lovingly on his cheeks. It was all she could do to calm the rumble that was crashing into her husband's soul. Diamonds seem to be thrown into the presence of watching how heavy and painful the days passed by the stars first. 

"I'm a Lian killer. I killed the people closest to me. I also caused your mother to die. And even I almost killed our son-in-law. I'm the worst human being. I deserve to be hated by you" 

"You're not a killer, Bin. You're not a bad person" said the diamond, who tried to wipe away her tears, and then she cupped her husband's face to look him in the eye. 

"I'm sorry, Bin" Diamond wiped her husband's tears full of guilt. 

"Life dies someone is already there to organize. Stop blaming yourself. You'll just make the Moon and Reza's om unsettled there. I'm sure they will understand and forgive your mistakes. Moon must love you very much and she would not like to see her brother still blame her for the death that took his life. Don't punish me, our future child, as well as yourself with your past traumas. You must rise for my sake also for the fruit of our love" 

"But what about your mother's death?. You definitely can't forgive me" Star hasn't fully calmed down given her other mistakes. 

The diamond is silent and takes a breath. Her gaze was far contemplating the burden that was still carried by her husband. The star held its breath and waited anxiously for what his wife thought.