Dusk Substitute
Cold Night

"Nissa, he's here!"

"Say I'm asleep, ask her to come home!" said Nissa, Amira stood still. No answers or nods of the head. Amira has no answer to Nissa's request.

Nissa sighed, Amira looked at her best friend. With a gontai move, Nissa walked out of her room. Nissa stepped slowly towards the living room. Amira chooses to stay in the room, she does not want to disturb Nissa. Amira realizes her best friend is not okay. Nissa was always quiet when there was trouble. Even in front of Amira, Nissa would be fine.

Nissa stood a few steps behind Radit. Radit stood up agitatedly. Gestur Radit's body, showing a great anxiety. Nissa continued to step closer, Nissa standing right at the door. The sound of Nissa's footsteps, made Radit twist his body. Radit stared fixedly at Nissa, a face he had barely seen for a week. Radit glued, looking at Nissa who looked calm. No anxiety or anxiety, instead Radit looks messy unkempt.

"Lisa!" greeting Radit, Nissa blinked both eyes. Nissa's beautiful face revealed a smile that was so soothing.

Nissa walked a few steps forward. Nissa stood right next to Radit, holding on to the porch divider. Radit sensed Nissa's body. The fragrance that once filled his days. But now the fragrance is getting further and disappearing. Nissa stared straight ahead, piercing through the dark of the silent and desolate night. Radit was silent, no sound could come out of his lips.

"What's wrong? Why come here? It was very late at night!"

"I missed you!" radit said softly, Nissa turned her head. Nissa stared fixedly at Radit, a gaze filled with a wordless taste.

"Sorry, I can't go home yet!"

"Why? How long will I endure this longing? Tell me, what am I supposed to do? So that you may forgive me!" radit said, Nissa fell silent. For a few minutes, everything was quiet and silent. Thick night makes the atmosphere more gripping.

Nissa looked straight at the path in front of her. A small street in a village on the outskirts of town. Nissa chose to stay in the village, away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Leaving behind the comfort and luxury that Radit gave. Small house roofed ancient tile with a small yard and bamboo fence as a barrier. A small house that provides tranquility in Nissa's heart and soul.

A week ago, Nissa stayed away from Radit. For a moment Nissa was disobedient to Radit. Husband becomes his paradise. Nissa chose anger, forgetting her time with Radit. To rightly take his pain by leaving pain in the heart of the priest of his afterlife. Nissa felt helpless about everything that happened. Surviving with a body full of wounds, it won't be easy. Although going away will only make him disobedient and sinful. But selfish of a woman who chooses her thoughts right and thinks her wounds will not be easily healed. A stupid thought that finally brought Nissa to live here. Living alone without a husband and son.

"I don't know, my heart is hurting and my soul is screaming. I was angry with everything, I cried remembering the wounds that were broken!"

"I miss you, Zain needs you!"

"And I need my sanity!" said Nissa coldly, Radit rubbed his face rough.

Radit realized how big the wound was inflicted by his arrogant attitude. Even if it's all just the past. It is like a history that cannot be easily forgotten. Like that, the wound that Nissa now felt. Convincing the injured heart, is not as easy as closing the peeled skin.

"Lisa!"

"Five months of Nissa, we've been together for almost five more months. There is no way your heart cannot feel my love. It's not every day I say my love, almost every minute I show my love. Don't you feel it?" radit said, Nissa turned her head with a smile.

"So that I chose to leave, my heart began to weaken before you. I fear my heart is breaking. Lukaku won't make me fragile, but your love makes this woman in front of you fragile!" nissa said flat, Radit pulled Nissa's hand. With a nod of her head, Nissa confirmed Radit's gaze. An unspoken word, but clearly two ears of Radit were heard. A love language that only Radit and Nissa can understand.

"Nissa, if that's true. Why did you leave me? We started all over!"

"It's not that easy, Radit, for five months I convinced myself. You love me and won't hurt me. In fact, you are the one who hurt me the most. The hand you offered me, has made my hand lose grip. If only you wanted to hurt me, not my father. Maybe forgiving you is a lot easier for me. Since I was a child, my father was the only one who loved me. He hugged me when my tears broke. He was the first person to see my success. He was also the first man I ever loved. The warm embrace that has been protecting me from pain. His touch calmed me down, as insults continued to sound in my ears. He's so precious to me and you want to hurt him!" said Nissa loudly, Nissa's voice was heard all the way into the room.

Amira was shocked to hear Nissa's anger. Nissa's pain said, no longer calm Nissa made her quiet. Nissa said all the injuries and dukannya. Fear and longing that he could not speak. Now all is heard, no longer Nissa's lips closed. Amira felt the pain Nissa felt. A restrained cry, will be even more painful and stifling. Amira was silent in the room, covering both her ears. Hearing the wounds of his best friend, Amira is destroyed.

"I'm sorry!" radit said softly, his hand trying to reach Nissa's body. But Nissa slowly brushed off Radit's hand. Nissa walked away, leaning against the pillar of the house made of wood.

"Radit, he's my father and you're my husband. I can't choose between you. I love him and I love you!" as Nissa said, Radit stared in disbelief at Nissa. The word love is spoken, it sounds clear. But Nissa's tears and pain were real. A crying that felt heartbreaking. A woman who is hurt by her love.

"Nissa, you love me!"

"Yes, I love you Ahmad Dzaky Raditya!" sahut Nissa loudly with tears. Nissa patted her chest softly which hurt. His heart ached, love existed and hate was real. Nissa was between happy and tears. Nissa was unable to step up, she chose silence.

"Darling!" radit said happily, Nissa brushed off Radit's hand the second time.

"I can't choose between you and my father. You're my way of heaven now, but he's my protector. You are my love, but he is my calm. You're my life, but he's my support. I can't choose, I can't!" nissa said softly, Nissa's body was limp. Both of his legs were weak without energy.

Bruuggghhh

"Lisa!" radit shouted, Nissa's body fell to the ground. Radit propped up Nissa's head, Radit saw Nissa's pale countenance. Nissa's hands were cold, Nissa's lips were turning blue. As Radit's body trembled, Radit anxiously looked at Nissa.

"Lisa!" amira shouted, while running from inside her house. Amira clasped Nissa's cold hand. Amira rubs Nissa's hand slowly, but all in vain. Nissa's body gets colder, her best friend Nissa falls right in front of her.

Cup

"I'm sorry, sorry!" said Radit Pilu, just before kissing Nissa's forehead that feels hot.