Dusk Substitute
Hope

The day changed so quickly, the long night had passed a few weeks ago. The warmth between Radit and Nissa is now beginning to show. Nissa began to open her heart, to Radit the priest of her choice. The distance that used to be so far, little by little eroded by Radit's sincere love. Although there was still a wedge deep within Nissa's heart. The pain that has existed so far, does not just disappear.

A year passed so quickly, Nissa's marriage had already entered its first year. Zain his little son grew up well. Nissa's affection makes Zain feel comfortable and happy. Nissa became the perfect mother-in-law for Zain. Time passes by so quickly, when only happiness fills the day of Nissa's little family life. Radit treated Nissa very special. Radit's whole life revolves only near Nissa.

But all happiness began to be disturbed, when hope never materialized. Sincerity that finds no direction. Perfection plagued by a single doubt. Radit's desire can no longer be held back. A hope for perfection in a family. Radit starts expecting a baby with Nissa. But that hope did not materialize, until the wait was exhausting.

"Honey, where are you?" radit shouted loudly, but never heard the voice of Nissa.

Radit turned towards the wall clock, at exactly 22:00 WIB. But Nissa was not seen in her room. Let alone Nissa's voice, her shadow was not heard. Radit starts to feel lonely without Nissa. If Radit used to be comfortable without anyone while working? Now Radit's nervous, if there's no Nissa beside him. Simply looking at Nissa, Radit will calm down and refocus on his work. After searching for Nissa in the entire corner of the second floor. Radit went downstairs, thinking Nissa was in Zain's kitchen or room.

"Darling!" said Radit lirih, while opening the door to Zain's room.

His two eyes were perfectly rounded, staring at the relationship between Nissa and Zain. Radit saw Nissa's body curled up on Zain's small bed. A bed measuring 100×200 meters with dividers on the right and left sides. Nissa slept hugging Zain, clutching tightly to Zain who was sleeping on his arm. Radit saw such sincere affection. The comfort and safety that Nissa offers Zain. Connecting mother who considers Zain like a real mother.

Cup

"Honey, let's move to our room!" whispered Radit, shortly after kissing Nissa's forehead.

Radit rubbed gently on Nissa's cheek, then down to Nissa's lips. Radit bent over to kiss Nissa on the lips, but Nissa quickly stopped him. Nissa covered Radit's lips, then asked Radit to leave Zain's room. Nissa fixed Zain's blanket, then came out following Radit's steps. But Nissa did not go back to the room. Nissa went to the kitchen, took a pot of water and made coffee and snacks for Radit. Nissa took everything to her room.

"Darling, why so long?" radit said, just after Nissa came into his room. Nissa lifted the tray she was carrying from the kitchen. Nissa wanted Radit to see something she was carrying.

Radit nodded, then walked over to Nissa. Gently and lovingly, Radit rubbed the hijab that covered Nissa's hair and nape. Radit takes off slowly Nissa's hijab, kissing full of love nape of love. For a moment Nissa was passionate, Radit's wild touch rendered Nissa helpless. One by one Radit's warm kisses landed perfectly on Nissa's nape.

"Sorry, I'm tired!" when Nissa refuses Radit, Nissa lets go of Radit's embrace. Leaving Radit in endless astonishment. Nissa walked towards her dresser. Nissa took out a piece of medicine that was placed in the dresser drawer.

"Darling, you're sick!"

"I'm tired, that's all!" say Nissa, then go to sleep. Radit approached Nissa, lying right next to Nissa. Hugged Nissa's body behind him. Radit's hands were perfectly circular in Nissa's slender belly. Slowly Radit rubbed Nissa's stomach. With many hopes and prayers that until now have not materialized.

Nissa was transfixed, her body stiffened to realize the meaning of Radit's embrace. Nissa understands Radit's touch not without reason. A hope that is not fulfilled. The dream of a man who hopes to take out his father. A dream that Nissa may never be able to make.

"Honey, when do we have a baby? Zain needs a brother, and I want to hold my baby with you!" whispered Radit softly, Nissa remained silent. No sound, Nissa's lips are cheeky. Nisss heart was turbulent, a fear that had been in his mind all along. Spoken from Radit's lips easily.

"Darling!" greet Radit gently, when realizing Nissa was silent. Radit sensed something strange with Nissa's silence. Is this just a hunch or suspicion? But Radit felt something strange, really strange.

Again and again, Nissa was silent. At first glance it sounds******* from Nissa's lips. Just as Radit kissed Nissa's nape gently. But Nissa was silent and cold again, after the warmth disappeared. Radit sighed, feeling that he hoped he would not find despair. Radit hugged Nissa tightly, infiltrating behind Nissa's nape. No more sounds, just quiet and silent. A little later tonight, with no sound of animals greeting the night.

Tik Tok Tik Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok

The clock kept turning, not feeling right at midnight. But Radit and Nissa stayed awake, as if a sleepy rass didn't want to ambush. Nissa chose to sit on the bed. His fingers lent, playing beautifully on a laptop. Nissa chose to focus on the learning of her students. While Radit returned to focus with his stack of files. Neither Radit nor Nissa looked at each other or spoke. Both are in different worlds.

"Asthagfirulllah, it's been three days I forgot to drink it!" nissa's mind, then moved out of her bed.

Nissa put the laptop on the bed, then walked towards the drawer on the nightstand. Nissa looked for a small bottle, containing a few grains of medicine. Long Nissa searched, but her search was futile. Nissa is starting to get scared, she's afraid Radit found her. Her body started to shake, Nissa wiped the sweat on her forehead. Nissa looked elsewhere, but the small bottle could not be found. Nissa sighed, she was confused and scared. Nissa sat at the nightstand, she glanced at Radit who was still focused on his work. Nissa was relieved, realizing it wasn't Radit who found her.

"I'll buy it tomorrow, maybe it falls out of my bag!" inwardly Nissa, her heart started to calm down a little. Nissa walked slowly towards the bathroom. Nissa chose to take ablution, then went to sleep. So that he is calmer and no longer burdened with Radit's questions.

"Wait!" radit said coldly, Nissa stopped her steps. Nissa turned towards Radit, seeing Radit spit out something.

"You're looking for this!" radit said, Nissa turned her body. Two of her eyes opened wide, Nissa was surprised to see the medicine she was looking for was in Radit's hand.

"You're looking for this!" radit said in a high tone, Nissa nodded slowly.

"Thank you!" sahut Nissa, then took the medicine from Radit's hands. Nissa walked towards the bathroom, leaving Radit with a fear that she had purposely covered up.

"Why Nissa? Why?"

"You mean!" as Nissa said, Radit looked slowly.

"why are you doing this to me?" radit said, then snatched the medicine bottle from Nissa's hand. Radit threw the bottle with all his might.

Paaaayyyrrr

"Why did you throw it away?" nissa said in surprise, looking at the medicine that was splattered from inside the bottle.

......................