Dusk Substitute
Fill the wounded heart

The sound of the waves breaking silently. The dark of the night is gripping. The sky is full of stars. The full moon greets all nature. A beautiful, silent night harmony. There were footsteps above the white sand. The ripples of small waves drenched the tip of the foot. Smooth sand tickles all over the pulse. Sayub heard the sound of breathing filled with burden. Vaporized fused in a beautiful night.

After finishing her training, tonight is Nissa's last day in town. Tomorrow morning, Nissa returns to a city full of dilemmas. Living a life full of obstacles. Nissa was walking by the beach. The training resort is not far from the sea. It took me a few minutes to get to the waterfront. Nissa chose to go alone, calming her troubled heart. Nissa felt the cold of the night breeze, the smooth sand of the beach and the eerie thick of the night.

Lama Nissa walked by the beach, occasionally his feet felt the ripples of the sea waves. Nissa clenched tightly onto her body, the cold sea breeze started to weaken her bones. As cold as his farewell to Radit the other day. A week ago, exactly six days twelve hours ago. Nissa last saw Radit. Since then, no more voices have been heard from Radit greeting him. There was no phone call or chat asking for news. A hint of longing greeted deep in his heart. But Nissa must be strong, she must not be weak without Radit.

"Until when do you stand under the pitch of the night? Believe me, Nissa, the dark of the night will not be able to cover your restless heart. The night wind won't be able to convey your race. Sea water will not cool your burning love. Standing here, only makes you sick and weak!"

"Amira!" nissa said, Amira nodded slowly. Amira gives a jacket to Nissa. Amira's best friend who understands Nissa's grief. Without the need for his ears to hear the wound from Nissa's lips.

"When have you been here?"

"Not since when is Nissa? But what am I here for!" sahut Amira, Nissa sighed. Sometimes Nissa has trouble understanding Amira's words. He was unable to follow the thought of his best friend. The mindset is sometimes simple, but more complicated.

"What's wrong? Why're you following me?"

"I'm hungry, we're having dinner!" rengek Amira, Nissa's eyeballs are perfectly rounded. Nissa could not believe Amira's strange-sounding reasoning.

"Nissa, we're eating!" amira said sighingly, Nissa sighed. Seen a nod to Nissa, suddenly Amira shouted in excitement.

Nissa and Amira walk towards Lesehan near the beach. The night was getting late, the atmosphere was getting quieter. But it is different from the atmosphere on the beach. Nothing quiet, it looks so crowded and crowded. Until finally, Nissa and Amira chose to eat fried rice. Just filling the stomach, so that tonight they do not sleep hungry.

"Lisa!"

"Hmmm!" sahut Nissa with a mouth full of fried rice.

"Why are you taking this medicine? What makes you afraid of having offspring? The Nissa I know, is not cold-hearted. It was impossible, he did not want to have a son!" amira said softly and firmly, Nissa sighed. I don't know where Amira knows about this. But gradually, this matter must be revealed.

"Nissa, I'm your best friend, not your enemy. Since when did you start to keep your distance from me? You keep big things from me. You made a stupid decision. Without saying it to me, you can at least hear my opinion!"

"I'm sorry Amira. This is the reason for my silence, I don't want to worry you!"

"Now I know it, doesn't it mean the same!" amira said loudly, Nissa lowered her head for a moment after putting down her empty plate. Nissa was looking for justification for her stupid decision.

"Why silence? Speak Nissa!"

"Amira, I don't want to justify myself. Hypocritical, if I say I don't want to have any offspring from Radit. The man I love so much. The man who made me feel love. The man who made me queen in his life. But on the same side, he's a great guy who has the perfect ex-wife. Unlike me, a debt-sapping woman who grew up without a mother. A child who has always been considered a pestle in his family!" said Nissa, Amira looked down in silence. Nissa's raucous voice, signifying how heavy the burden his best friend was bearing. A big reason that seems to be made up, even though there is a real wound in it.

"You mean?"

"Amira, the day after I gave my life and love to Radit. I found such a big fact. A truth that scares me of losing Radit. The biggest reason I rejected the presence of a son in my marriage. A truth that dawned on me, if Radit only wanted this body instead of love!" said Nissa, Amira approached Nissa. Patting his best friend's shoulders. Looking for the reason for the injury of his beloved friend. Amira tries to be a crutch when tired and sick Nissa.

"Wait for Nissa, Radit's first wife!"

"Iya Amira, first wife and I are nothing more than second wife. My marriage is not just a debt repayment, but a napkin impingement!"

"No way, you must have misunderstood!"

"If it were wrong, I wouldn't have done this stupid. Let alone being the mother of the man I love. Being a surrogate mother to Zain I've been very happy. Then, could it be that I refuse to give birth to my flesh blood!" nissa said, Amira leaned her head on Nissa's shoulder. Look deep into the night sky, seeking the truth from Nissa's words.

"Amira, I'm just a twilight surrogate whose disappearance will never be missed!"

"But Radit loves you!" sahut Amira, Nissa nodded slowly.

"But Radit's love for her is much greater. She was the first woman in Radit's life. She, the wife who made Radit perfect as a man. She is a great woman who is independent and successful. He's the real twilight in Radit and Zain's life. The twilight my husband misses!"

"Nissa, maybe you misunderstood!" amira said, Nissa shook her head slowly.

"It doesn't matter if I misunderstood or not. I just want to spend my time with Radit and Zain well. Later when their twilight returns, I'm ready to go with the happiness that was created!"

"You love him so much!" amira said, Nissa looked up at the sky. A drop of tear fell right on Nissa's eye patch. Amira stared weakly at the friend, a heart that began to cling to one love. But it harbors such a great fear.

"Maybe!" sahut Nissa flat, Amira hugs Nissa lemgan. He rested his head on Nissa's shoulder. Amira hopes Nissa's pain moves on to her.

"Being twilight substitute, maybe I can. But being a mother who saw her son was eliminated. Really, I won't be able to. Enough of me to feel excluded. I will not let my son feel lonely and the pain of being left out in the warm family. Let Zain be the crown prince!" inner Nissa.

"Why didn't you ask me? At least you know the truth from my own lips!"

"You!" nissa said in disbelief, when she saw Radit standing behind her.

"Sorry!" sahut Amira, Nissa just kept quiet. Amira leaves Radit and Nissa. Both under the beautiful night sky.

"Justification is just the reason for a mistake!"

"Nissa, just ask me once. Then I'll answer it!" radit said, Nissa shook her head slowly.

"Enough Zain is among us, I don't expect more!"

"But I want your son, I want a whole and perfect family with you!" radit said, then hugged Nissa's body very tightly.

"I loved you Radit, until I finally feared losing you!" inner Nissa.