Dusk Substitute
Togetherness

"Darling, you're angry!" whispered Radit, hugging Nissa from behind.

Nissa was silent, her body frozen. The heat that Radit offers, does not necessarily warm his body. Nissa felt an indescribable cold. Zain's tears were the reason he froze. The shadow of Zain's cry, it felt so painful. Nissa seemed unable to look at Zain's sad face. Zain's tears would be a farewell with one of his parents.

"All will be well, trust me!" whispered Radit, Nissa just remained silent. Radit was increasingly confused to see Nissa's different attitude.

Since Nissa found out about Radit's lawsuit against Alvira. Nissa felt guilty, she thought everything that happened was because of her. Nissa blames herself for what happened? If time could come back, Nissa would never have been part of Radit's life. But everything has changed, Nissa has now bonded with Radit. His heart fused with Radit, his heart beat because of Radit, his soul churned while with Radit. His life is connected to just one name. Ahmad Dzaky Raditya, father of the son in his womb.

"Dear, speak. Your silence makes it hard to say anything!"

"Just like your big decision left me helpless. I love you so much, I love Zain too. But I'm not a cold-hearted woman, happy to see a mother left out. Alvira wasn't my best friend or friend, but she was the mother who gave birth to Zain. Maybe he was wrong to leave Zain, but he still deserves to love Zain!"

"Dear, I'm sorry. It's all because of me, I'm too scared to lose you. I won't be able to lose Zain either. Trust me, this is all the best!"

"That's what I expected!" nissa said softly, then twisted her body. Nissa stared fixedly at Radit's two eyeballs. Looking for answers to his feelings, then with love. Nissa hugged Radit's body tightly.

Nissa wrapped her hands around Radit's body. Nissa stuck her head on Radit's chest. Feeling the heat of Radit's embrace, listening to Radit's heartbeat. Heart rate that Nissa is missing. Heartbeats that call his name. Nissa so clearly showed her sense of regret. The love that Radit had wanted to see all along.

"Nissa, I can ask!"

"Please!" nissa said softly, while sleeping in Radit's arms. Nissa closed both her eyes. It was as if Nissa was feeling the lost peace within her.

"If you love me, why do you still pay my debt? If you miss being there for me, why would you refuse all my gifts? If your peace is with me, why do you keep your sorrows? Honestly, Nissa, the warmth tonight is scary to me. The happiness I crave, but I also fear. I'm afraid this is all a sign of your departure!" said Radit, Nissa quietly hugged Radit's body tightly. Plastered his hand right on Radit's chest. Nissa made a heart pattern right in Radit's heart. Then, in love Nissa kissed the heart with a heart.

Radit clenched tightly onto Nissa's body, as Nissa's warm kiss burned her chest. Nissa's like an electrician who's startling Radit's heartbeat. Radit's fear, Radit's anxiety, even Radit's fear all vanished without a trace. One loving warm touch from Nissa's fingertips. Tear down the fortress high in Radit's heart. In one touch, Nissa rendered Radit helpless. Nissa hypnotized Radit with one breath.

"Because my love is purely worthless, that's why your treasure can't afford it. RInduku is too sincere, to expect no reply. My weeds are with you, but my sorrows should not be dirty. I love you so much, even I'm afraid of losing you. However, in my fear there is sincerity and trust. Confidence, if I can survive with you or only with your love. Don't ever be afraid of losing me, I'll be by your side. At least, until I see you happy!"

"That means you're going!"

"So maybe I'll go!" nissa said, Radit immediately pulled Nissa's body. Radit cupped Nissa's face. Radit's head, Radit's signal doesn't want to hear any of it. Radit kissed Nissa's forehead in love. Channeling a desire that burns his soul. Radit felt both joy and sorrow together.

"I love you Radit, but I hate you too!" said Nissa, then break away from Radit's embrace.

Radit was stunned to hear Nissa's words. Something made him not believe. Nissa said something she never wanted to hear. A hatred Radit could never have imagined, even if it deserved to exist. Because the beginning of Radit and Nissa's relationship was wrong. But after everything that happened, Radit hoped there would be no more hate. Radit wishes there was only love and sincerity. Happiness is being a whole family. But the words of Nissa, clearly describe the pain that is still stored tightly in Nissa's heart.

"I'm sorry, forget everything that happened!" whispered Radit, then leaned his head on Nissa's shoulder. Radit embraces Nissa's still flat stomach.

"If only!" said Radit, but held back by Nissa's hand.

Nissa immediately shut Radit's mouth, when Radit said the word supposing. A word that is not worth saying. A simple word, but a doubt in His decree. On Nissa's head, Nissa's cue didn't expect the word to come from Radit's lips.

"Radit, we meet and with it His decree. So never doubt it, because everything will be beautiful in time!" nissa said, then went into the room.

"Your comfort, the reason for my anxiety!" inner Radit gray, while staring at the back of Nissa who passed away.

Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok

The sound of Radit's room door being knocked, Radit stepped towards the door. Radit glanced at the clock on the wall. Right at 21:00 WIB, it was already night and it was impossible for ART in his house to dare knock on his bedroom door without any urgent reason. Nissa walked towards the bathroom, she cleaned herself up before going to bed. Nissa chose to end the conversation that was not worth it.

"Who?" said Radit, opening the door.

"Mama!" zain shouted, running into Radit's room. Zain went straight into the room, after Radit opened the door. Zain's running speed was not as usual, it was clear that Zain was frightened.

"Sorry sir, Zain woke up and cried looking for mom!" said Ifa, Radit nodded slowly. Then ask Ifa to go back to her room. Letting Zain be in his room.

"Mama!" zain shouted, hugging Nissa very tightly. Nissa was shocked to the point of staggering back. Over time Zain's embrace felt tighter. Zain's body trembled, there was clearly fear on his face. Nissa carried Zain to the bed. Putting Zain in his lap, Radit was moved to see the proximity of Nissa and Zain. A sincere relationship that blends with the heart.

"What's the matter, baby?"

"Don't leave, don't leave Zain!" zain said in his innocent voice.

"Mama's not leaving!"

"Lied, Zain saw my mom go take my sister!"

"When baby? Look at my mom still here!"

"So, when Zain was sleeping!" say Zain plain, Nissa smiled knot. Nissa hugged the body of Zain, the son who loved her so much. Nissa was happy, hearing Zain's fear of his passing.

"Look at Nissa, even Zain is afraid of losing you. She was born from Alvira's womb, but she is bound to your heart. For this happiness and togetherness. I will fight the world!" batin Radit.