For God's sake, I'm sincere
Awaiting News

(Alizha POV)

My heart aches, facing all these trials. Why should it happen to me? I couldn't bear to see my own husband prefer another woman to my own. Which woman doesn't get hurt when she's like? Which woman is not rejected by her husband? Which woman can stand up to betrayal in front of her own eyes? There may be, but only a small part.

I may be one of those women who can't handle that. As soon as a woman, she will also be jealous. Women can keep a secret well, but he can not keep his jealousy well. The woman is a sentient being, all she associates in feelings.

I give up, now I'm quiet. I am just an unappreciated wife. My race is getting sore, I'm not strong for all this. After the painful incident in public yesterday, I went straight home with my own motorcycle. I tried to strengthen all my strength to get home safely. Thank God I finally got home safely. But I didn't go home to Mas Afif, I went home to my parents. That's where I feel safe and protected.

Everyone in the house was shocked to see me in such a state. How not? My situation at that time was like a crazy person who was insane. My eyes are red, my clothes and hijab are a mess. My legs tremble, my path becomes staggering. I tried to look strong in front of them, but I failed. My tears just escaped, I'm not strong enough to contain it anymore.

Everyone asked me, My father, my brother, Grandma, Grandpa, even more worried and crying was my Mother. I looked down, I just kept quiet. But I'm really not strong for this. Then Mother approached me and said "What's wrong? Why crying? Hugged Mother, you need her."

I immediately hugged Mother tightly. My father also approached me, stroking my head gently. "Look, we'll be ready to accept all your stories. Tell me if it makes you calm down, son."

My tears were getting louder, I could only cry as much as that time.

"Son, we know you're in trouble right now. Try to calm down, tell us. So we can help you, cu," said Grandpa.

"Sir, we are ready to be your back shoulder when there is a problem" said Bang Adib.

"Drink first, calm yourself down" Grandma said as she gave me some water to drink.

Then I let go of Mother's embrace, and sipped my drink until it ran out. It's true Grandma said, I'm calmer now. I set my breath slowly. I try to let my cry go. And I finally calmed down a little, and then I told him about all the painful events of that time.

When I told the part where Mas Afif had rejected me completely, my crying broke again. The mother who saw me immediately embraced my body. It feels very warm, soothing. Not only was my heart tired at that time, but my body was also tired. I just need a few days' rest in this house.

"Alizha asked for help. If Mas Afif comes here, don't tell Alizha that he's here."

Bang Adib answered immediately. "Before you ask, we will not allow him to enter let alone step on this house." the look on his face was very angry and also looks a sense of disappointment.

"What kind of man is he? Dare to hurt Daddy's daughter" said Dad in a high tone.

Bugh!!!

Her emotions soared that Dad kicked through the door to sound loud. We were all shocked too. Especially me, I'm scared when you're angry. When you are angry, it will be very difficult to forgive people who have done wrong and hurt their hearts, especially their families.

"Rest, sleep. Later when it's time to eat, Mother bring food to your room," said Mother lead me to the room.

Arriving in the room I immediately fell asleep, it felt all tired. Maybe with me sleeping, at least my fatigue will be a little lost.

.

.

.

.

.

Today I woke up early, I didn't want to bother everyone. I've been at Dad's house for a week now. After performing the prayer, I opened my phone and hoped there would be a notification from Mas Afif. But all I got was empty, no notification from Mas Afif at all. After that I decided to help Mother who has been busy struggling in the kitchen.

"Let Izha help ya," I said as I picked up an idle knife at the table next to Mother who was stirring the cooking.

"Well you awake? Have you rest, let Mother do it herself."

"Izha gapapa. Izha just wanted to help Mother cook," I said.

I cut the vegetables one by one to cook the vegetable soup. Instantly I remembered the atmosphere when cooking first when Mas Afif disturbed me, whether it was cutting vegetables so it was not bad, hugging me from behind even so nosy to turn off the stove I was using for cooking. I really missed that time. But this is where it's right for me now. I want to calm my mind and my heart while here.

All the families had gathered in the dining room for breakfast, my mother and I were busy preparing food.

I'll get some rice for Dad and Bang Adib. I also remember serving Mas Afif at mealtimes. My mood dropped again, like not being scattered to eat and it felt full when remembering the time with Mas Afif. After that we also ate breakfast this morning with prayer led by Dad.

There was only the sound of spoons and plates, no one spoke at all while eating. That's how we ate from before. If you want to talk, you need to finish the meal first.

Bang Adib raised his voice. "Taste good, this one makes you feel good. Surely you're the one who's cooking?" he said while putting away his plate.

I'm turning. "Yes the same Mother," I said in a flat voice.

"Udah must be good if Daddy's son is cooking. Isn't it Zha?" father said in a seductive tone and raised next to his eyebrows.

I also nodded. I don't know why my current mood is so messed up, so messed up. It still hurts, it hurts a lot. I'm not in charge of all this.

"Why not make a cathering just Deck? It's good to know to make more income" said Bang Adib.

"Em may too, but Alizha is afraid I'll lose the same order."

"Loh calm down Zha, there will be a Mother. Later must be helped by Mother," said Mother.

"See you later Bun. Besides, now Alizha also works." I answered while cleaning up the dirty dishes that I would take to the kitchen to wash.

Time has shown at 07.00 WIB. I'm getting ready for my room to go to work. I took my brown sling bag on the dresser. Ring out my blazer and hijab to make it look good. Then I rushed downstairs to leave.

Bang Adib has left first finished breakfast directly. I've been leaving with Dad this week in his car. Dad always came home to pick me up. Sometimes my own boss Mas Vino offered me to take him home with me, when Dad was late to pick me up. But I subtly refused his invitation, however conscious I was within the limits. I too am still a legitimate wife of men. And I'd better keep my distance from the man who's not my mahrom.

"Alizha went to Bun" I said, kissing Mother's hand.

"Yes, be careful, son." replied the Mother.

"Dad too" said Father then Mother kissed Father's hand.

I don't know why the one who saw him always smiled and said in his heart.

'Can I and Mas Afif be like them?'

"Assalamu'alaikum" said Father and I at the same time. Then we both got in the car and Dad started driving the car.

I took my phone out of my bag, and I tried to check if there was a notification from Mas Afif. It turned out to be empty, no news at all from Mas Afif. Have you forgotten me or what? Why not look for me? What was I considered all this time? Aren't you worried about me?

My phone kept me on my hand, I often opened it to check. But still nothing.

"Don't wait, he's come alone, '" said Father who is still focused on the wheel. It seems like I know my thoughts at this moment. Then I put my phone back in the bag.

Shortly after, we arrived in front of my office.

"Alizha work first Well. Assalamu'alaikum" I said, kissing his hand.

"Wa'alaikumussalam's chat. Oh yeah, maybe I'll pick him up a little late in the gap, won't Zha?"

"Yes gapapa."

"So it's gonna be a meeting outside, so I'm probably home late, too."

"Yeah, well, gapapa" I said then opened the car door and got out.

"Be careful," I said then only in reply with the sound of the car horn.

Then I walked into my room. When I got there, I opened my phone again. I miss Mas Afif very much. Until I wanted to call her now. But no, not first!

"Good Morning, Mrs Alizha" said one of the employees at the door.

"Look Mom, I'm asking you to please give this to Mr. Vino to sign."

"Oh yeah well I'll give it."

"Then excuse me, thank you" said the employee and I simply replied with a smile and nodded.

After that, I went back to work doing my waiting job.

Time will show rest, my work is getting less and less. Then I paused my work to give the file to Mr. Vino.

Geck. Geck. Geck. Knock the door first.

"Come in" he sounded from within.

"Good Day, sir."

"Good Day" replied Mr. Vino who was busy struggling with his laptop.

I walked over while putting the file on the table. "Sir, this is a file please sign."

Mr. Vino raised his head from the one who had originally looked at the laptop towards me. "Oh yes, thank you Zha."

"Yes sir, then excuse me." I said as I turned to get out.

Suddenly Mr. Vino called. "Alizha, a minute."

"Yes sir?" I said back to face him.

"It's lunchtime soon, can I join you?" he said while standing and then walked over to me.

"Em oh yes, of course you can. I'm going to the office canteen."

"Can you do it now?"

"But-" I was cut off.

"The work can be resolved later. You need a break too."

"Em well let's sir," I said, allowing him to walk first.

Arriving at the cafeteria, we chose a seat close to the seller.

"What message do you want? Let me treat" said Mr. Vino.

"I paid for it myself sir, thank you." I refused.

"Don't refuse, it's sustenance."

"No need sir, it'll be a hassle."

"Repot from where the hell is Zha? Just eat this, do not bother," replied Mr. Vino while shaking his head.

"Really Sir?" ask me while smiling.

"Yes." Yeah."

"It's up to Mr. Vino if that's it."

"Judah, is it the same as me?"

"Yes gapapa."

Vino ordered food. Soon, the food was on our table.

"Eat. Don't forget to pray." said Mr. Vino.

"Yes" I replied. Then we ate our lunch.

"I've seen lately you've been lacking that spirit. Why?" asked Mr. Vino suddenly surprised me.

"What time sir? I think it's normal as always" I replied with a laugh to cover up the sadness I was experiencing.

"You're Zha's tough lady. But you can't hide your sadness with me. What's the problem?"

"Nothing," I replied as I stirred my drink as I stopped laughing.

"I saw Afif yesterday afternoon with another woman when I went to the restaurant. At first I thought it was you taking off the hijab, it was not," said Mr. Vino.

"Alhamdulillah I still wear the hijab today," I replied, turning the conversation away with a smile. Surely my heart again felt pain, the husband I was waiting for was happy with another woman. And worse, not remembering my existence at all, not even informing me there. Here I wonder, who am I really in the eyes of Mas Afif? Am I not his wife? A wife who should be treated kindly and gently. But what did I get?

"Are you okay with your husband? It's not that I want to interfere in your problems, but what I see often may be a week in a row. So I as your friend, want to help."

"Before I say thank you there are still many who want to care about me. But it is not better for Mr. Vino to interfere with my household problems, God willing I am able to solve all this well."

"Yes Zha I understand. But if you need my help, do not hesitate to ask for help with me. I'm always open to you."

"Thank you."

After that his lunch hour was over. Now it's time to work back.

All the work has been completed, the time shows at 05:00. As usual Alizha waited for an invitation from her father in front of the office.

"Not picked up?"

Alizha is busy with her cell phone to contact her father. Instantly Alizha raised her head. "Still on the way." I replied with a smile.

"I can accompany you? Until your father picks you up."

"No need sir, just wait for it."

"Related?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Well then I go home first. Be careful, yes" said Mr. Vino as he walked away from me. I just replied with a nod and a smile.

Shortly after Mr. Vino left, Dad finally arrived. Now the car stopped right in front of me because I was waiting for him in front of the office gate.

Then I got in the car.

"Sorry Dad is late" said Dad with a slightly anxious look.

"Yes gapapa, it's quiet Alizha gapapa kok Yah."

Dad smiled too. "Where did you stop by first?" I also reflexively turned to look at him with a look of wonder. "Serious dad?" my many.

"Thousand Rius" said Father.