Hate the Mermindu
behind yara's grief

Yara struggled hard for her life, not even caring if it had to go through hell though, losing her mother while she still desperately needed that figure left her completely devastated in grief.

His father, who was warm and full of smiles when he welcomed him home from school, turned into a hard man to protect himself from any threats that might make Yara look miserable.

He had to work as a confectionary factory worker who was located far enough from home, that's why he could not take Yara to school.

Yara must be independent, must be able to take care of herself while the father is not there, sometimes Yara also has to be alone in the house until night because her father is working overtime.

For Yara to be able to go to high school, her father must be busy making a living in order to meet all the needs of their lives.

Despite having to sacrifice time, Yara finds out her father is fighting for her, in order to help her father, she learns desperately in order to pursue a scholarship at his school.

That's what makes him a little quiet and lonely, he does not want to disappoint his father and make his father difficult, he wants his father not to consider it a burden on his life.

Then how is the real Nayyara?, Nayyara who used to still laugh and smile when her family was whole, when the mother who loved her so much was still there.

Nayyara who is friendly to anyone, always helps anyone, easily familiar with others who are even new to her, Nayyara who is sweet and looks excited if going to school with her ponytail.

7 days after losing her mother, she gets her father tired after work, with a lethargic face and trembling hands, Yara knows her father missed his lunch and dinner, but.. That fake smile silenced Yara to cry looking at her father, the once warm man turned cold, spoke as necessary and never really laughed again with her.

Am I just a burden to you? Did I make you suffer so much? Am I very troubled?, and many more questions are not answered by his own head.

His father cried one night after work, hugging his mother's frame tightly, the middle-aged man fell asleep on the cold floor of his room, still visible remains of tears in the corner of her tightly closed eyes, her delicate breath and a very tired look, Yara witnessed how blind love all of them were, it makes endless pain and wounds.

Didn't you see me? Can my face heal you? Or at least don't ignore me. That's what Yara wanted to say when she saw her father's days pass quietly, the warm man was really devastated to lose the woman he loved, even though there was Yara beside him, he forgets the love of his son, so he chooses only for himself.

Dad, actually not really forgetting Yara, he knew there was a fruit of his love nearby, only, he had other thoughts about Yara, the face of his beloved wife was there, he said, Yara inherited every corner of her female face, so that if she saw Yara, Yara's smile reminded her of her late wife who always held her warm.

For that, he does not want Yara to see his gaze that always looks sad when he sees it, father always smiles a little, gives Yara needs as necessary, even when he knows Yara is getting a scholarship in his high school, and he is always smiling, just a little expression for him to show, whereas in his heart he continued to say.

Don't study too hard, go play with your peers, you don't have to worry about your pocket money.

However, the considerable guilt, and the disappearance of his beloved lover, still shutting his ego to open up with his one daughter, he does not want Yara to feel her sadness, she said, he wanted Yara not to be as narrow-minded as she was.

That's how the relationship between father and son ended up, they lived together but only met a little, sometimes just waiting for each other when one of them came home late, after one was seen, they drowned in their quiet and desolate room, only to show that they still cared for each other.

"they bully me well, that's because I don't care about anyone right now, I'm so ignorant looking arrogant in their eyes, so no one wants to be friends with me. "

One time, when returning home from school in wet shoes due to being doused in the mop water at the picket hour, Yara wanted to tell her father at the time, but.. At the dining table that only heard a smooth chew from their respective mouths, Yara just drowned with her inner voice, she was afraid of not responding to her father.

"Well, my seniors helped me out earlier, I thought they were good, they both looked good, but I was afraid of the other one, looking hateful to me when we looked at them. "

"Well... It turned out that the senior was not as good as I thought, he was evil, his voice was thin and always said painfully, I was afraid well go to school, could not tomorrow-tomorrow father drove me to school, so they saw, I was afraid, if I also had a father who protected me at all times. "

"Eh, yeah.. It turns out they are not evil, already know not his name Kak Darren and Kak Devano, who are ketus and look evil that brother Devano, until now he still looks evil if he looks at me, anyway, but somehow I feel he is actually good, protecting me from the students who bullied me, now they no one dares to come near me and bother me, now I have friends well, now I have friends, I'm a little happy even though brother Devano likes to tell me this, I'm fine, I want to thank them, especially Brother Darren, he's very kind to me, always smile and give me food at school. "

"Dad... Fathering... My senior and I will be separated soon... I can't just hug you for a second, 'cause I'm sad right now. "

the days passed by just like that, Yara could only speak in her own heart, there was nothing she could do but just lament her loneliness despite being with her beloved father.

Behind the sad face, is his loneliness in his life that looks evil and sad, sometimes Yara thinks, why him? Why should he be the one? The misfortune of losing the mother and wife who loved her father so much, even though they were not from the family, but they never asked for happiness that was more than just gathering with her small family, wh why?

There had never been an answer to Yara's question until now, which she knew, she just had to be strong, she just had to be strong, it must not collapse even if it is very unfair if he also gets this silence even though he still has his real father.

For that, he no longer cares about himself, wants the cruelest monster more than Devano though, Yara will be strong, he does not want to look weak, he no longer wants to look weak, he just wants to show that he only accepts with a dead heart, does not want any sense that arises in him later, he will close it, the kindness of people to him is just an illusion for him.

He does not want to be like the father, loving the body with all his soul, to make it just a body that now seems empty does not glow in his life.

Yara decides to go numb, not wanting to fall in love or be loved by anyone, because she knows, it will only hurt her too deeply, hoping that her father's love just seems impossible, what else to wish on others, that was ridiculous to him.

He let himself look empty, will not accept anyone's heart, that's what happened in his school days, focus on learning, can scholarship so as not to burden his father too much, then get a decent job for a better life, so that they all respect it a little, the bullying at that time did make it a little trouma on people are, Yara deleted the list of precious men on her dictionary, even if she could choose, until death she did not want to open her heart to anyone.

But... His heart once pounded on one man, namely Darren, but even so, Darren was also not the man who would enter the exception of Yara, he chose to bury the thump before filling the cavities in his heart, he chose to bury the thump before filling the cavities in his heart, now it's just his admiration and gratitude that he pinned for Darren, there will be no love in his dictionary.

But we do not know how the next journey of Yara, it is possible that someone carrying a weapon whatever will destroy the heart of Yara petrified, no one knows the fate of someone other than God who planned it.

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