I Desire the Love of My Husband
I Didn't Expect

Frans walked into his backyard, sitting next to Zahra who had been there since.

"Drink, it's warm sweet tea."

Zahra turned her head and accepted it, she took a few gulps, enough to warm her stomach.

"What's less sweet?"

"For me less sweet, I'm sweet pecintan."

"Well, from now on you have to reduce it."

Zahra smiled and took a sip back, Frans looked around, there were only trees and other small plants, green grass on which he looked.

But Zahra seemed so comfortable to be there, not knowing how many hours she had been there, and even alone.

"Nobody's looking for you, it's late at night?"

"Nobody cares about me."

"True, let me just care about you, have you eaten?"

Zahra turned her head, she nodded slowly, not eating what she needed now.

Frans nodded, he pulled out his phone and struggled there, Zahra clenched her lips without any interest in scolding her.

"Do you like snacking?"

"Like."

"You want to snack now?"

"I want a drink."

"It's sweet tea to drink too."

Zahra smiled, she nodded without answering anything.

Frans is back on his cell phone, it's time for a break, until when they'll be outside like that.

"French."

"Emm."

Zahra turned her head, the man was still busy with his cell phone.

"Why?"

"It's not so."

Frans looked over, he kept his phone and hugged his leg.

"Why?"

"How old you are, you seem to be more mature than me."

"Of course, you're still a kid, right?"

Zahra smiled, he turned back without answering, good means Zahra is indeed young.

"Why ask about age?"

"I'm afraid of being considered rude, so I ask that I know what to call you?"

"No problem, just call as you like."

"All right."

Both are silent, busy with their own thoughts, but there are so many things that Zahra wants to talk about, but it feels lazy.

Frans changed his sitting position, he felt sore sitting down like that, why did Zahra not sit on the sofa inside.

"Zahra, are you okay?"

"Of course, why me?"

"Mama said, you came and cried incessantly, talking at length to her."

"She's my mom, I'm comfortable telling her the same story."

"You just met."

"But my feelings are very familiar."

Frans nodded, it was good that it was like that, so Zahra let go of her tired feelings.

Frans admitted that Isma was a gentle and loving woman, it was only natural that she would easily make others comfortable.

"Zahra, you know you want a woman like Mama."

"And you got it?"

"Of course, I found it and I had time to have it."

Zahra turned her head, once had, what Frans was telling her about her former lover at this time.

"Then, where is he now?"

"It's gone" said Frans, turning his head.

"Go?"

Frans nodded, Zahra frowned a little, Frans sentence felt hanging, Zahra could not interpret it himself.

Frans clucked as he turned, it really returned the longing to the woman first.

"Go, did he ...."

"No, he didn't die, he left because his parents took him, they forced me and him to separate even when our time together was just established."

"Recent in?"

"I married her."

Zahra raised both eyebrows, whether this is a bad story, or just sweet because Frans never got the woman of his dreams.

Frans straightened his legs, he bowed for a moment, it was possible that Zahra was feeling the same feeling now.

"I married her, we were together for 3 months, and I had to divorce her in the fourth month."

"Why is that?"

"I don't understand."

Frans shook his head, he glanced at Zahra with a smile.

Zahra was surprised by it, Frans who lived it but Frans also did not understand the story.

"My struggle to get him wasn't playful, he was so hard to get, he was so ignorant when I approached him."

"So, how do you know she's just like Mama?"

"His face was so revealing of her kindness, her eyes were also soft, and her smile was so warm."

Zahra nodded, alright, it's a pity that Zahra can't see the woman directly.

Frans looked up at the sky, he smiled a little at the moon there, Zahra who noticed it also saw the moon.

"Maybe you need to know, if I've ever been in your current position."

"You don't know what happened to me."

"What happened, you hated in-laws, you hated your Husband, unappreciated out your Husband?"

The two lyrics each other, surviving in the gaze of each other, is really the story of their lives the same.

Zahra did feel everything, all that bad treatment, all that hate, and all the other bad things.

"But you're stuck in your own love, until you can't leave, even for the sake of getting your own happiness."

Zahra turned, he looked straight at the page, it was true, Zahra always denied if he had to go and go.

Frans nodded, he exhaled slowly, maybe his guess yesterday about Zahra was true.

"I can't control my feelings, I'm disappointed and I'm hurt, but I can never go."

"Because you're too good."

"No, I'm bad now, I hurt a lot of people."

"Because now that you're beginning to realize, holding on in silence is no longer as easy as you used to be, not as good as you'd imagine."

Zahra smiled, not a single incident was to her liking, all disappointing her.

Zahra truly regretted ever being a good person, giving in to keep other people feeling, to the point of sacrificing her own feelings without the slightest care.

"You must understand, if sacrifice is not always to be done, and fighting is not always a good way out, the two things have the same portion that we must set to be balanced."

"How can you divorce your wife?"

"He suffered when he chose to stay with me, his parents' hatred always made his attention to me seem to disappear, and he felt guilty about it."

"So, who asked to separate?"

"Nothing, indeed I let go, when the love we have is no longer happy, then we have to give up, I keep my own love for him and vice versa."

Zahra nodded slowly, why couldn't Bian do that, even though Zahra had asked him repeatedly.

Zahra also wanted to escape the pain, but why is it so difficult the road that must be passed until now.

"Zahra, losing him drives me crazy, enduring the hatred of his parents also drives me crazy, enduring my own love makes me even more crazy, I've had the lowest phase in an abnormal mental state."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I told Mama a lot, I said everything I wanted to say, even if it's not important to say, as long as I'm satisfied and calm, I did."

Zahra was silent, but Zahra could not do that with her Mama, Zahra had already lost them.

Zahra's backrest and most comfortable place no longer exist, they leave before Zahra understands how to live life well.