I'll Live As I Wish
Episode 6 The past

I went back to the room. After arriving at the room I began to feel a familiar feeling. This feeling is a sense of abandonment.

My previous life was named Aisyah the woman who was born in the family was. My father was a very handsome actor, many liked my father and the biological mother who meant my stepmother he was an idol. My stepmother is an actress she is my father's junior and my father's co-star. My father and mother first met at a social banquet. My stepmother liked my father at the time. He framed my father and had a relationship at the hotel. My father was unconscious at the time and he also does not remember. When he woke up he found that he was already at the hotel and asleep there. He was astonished because he could not remember reaching the hotel. He was alone in the hotel and he asked who had driven him but, no one knew.

My father and mother continued to meet and they became close and fell in love. My brother and I were born with twins, but we exchanged them with my stepmother's son. My brother is weak. If he was not weak he would definitely be famous because he was very handsome, good at acting and good at singing however, fate was very evil making him live with a weak body. I want to be an idol. I love to sing and dance. I can also act but not as well as my brother. I was very happy when I was a kid because my sister loved me and I was living with my stepmother and sister because when we didn't know that we weren't her real children and we were kids legal is not haram.

My stepmother made plans to get my father and mother divorced. At first it failed because my father loved my mother so much, but my stepmother did not want to give up, she targeted my mother and my mother fell into her plans. My mother who divorced my father and my father at that time was very desperate he ended up drinking and drunk. My stepmother took the squalor and slept with him. When I woke up my stepmother also said that she used to sleep together and now has a child who is the same age as the child of her ex-wife. Finally I had to marry my stepmother. Since then, my brother and I first met my father. We stayed together at last but Dad always rarely came home and if he came home it was always late except on our birthdays. I'm starting to know that I have a half-brother and he's older than me. I initially hated her but my stepmother convinced me to love her. I can't hate him and try to love him.

When I was 9 years old my brother died. He left me alone. Before I was 8 years old, my sister once reminded me not to trust my stepmother too much and she was also always kind to our biological mother, whom we consider a stepmother because she is her ex-wife's father. I was a kid at the time so I didn't understand. The sister delivered the last message and the message was the same words that were "Don't trust mom too much". Not long after that mom took her stepbrother and stayed with us. Dad didn't mind because he felt like brothers should live together. I always succumbed to her and my stepmother always gave her affection and I was always envious. I was told to work and at that time I wanted to follow the selection for idols but it was banned and finally I did not participate. Until I grew up, I always followed people's wishes. I forgot my dream of being an idol.

The people I love have all betrayed me. I hate them so much and also hate my stupid self for not being able to understand. I now understand what big brother meant. Now when they betrayed me I understood everything. That all this time I just lived a stupid life and lived with strangers. Even I just found out that I was a legitimate child and the son of his ex-wife, the father I consider to be my stepmother, was a real mother. I said little in front of my mother's grave and it was raining heavily "I'm sorry my mother has been mean to you". I also fell unconscious at that time in my mother's grave the rain fell to be more heavy. When I woke up I was home and had to go to school. I went and sought help. I thought my boyfriend could help it turned out he was a traitor, too. My Sahabt also betrays I have no one. When I had not finished speaking, I became unconscious. That's where I died.

Back to now. Stella thought about her previous life and said

"Having thought about why my father used to say I was a selfless child and very arrogant huh ? When I was 15 my father came in with anger and slapped me on the cheek". Stella.

"Oh yes I was also curious how big brother could die because he suddenly became very weak. The older brother was weak but he was always treated by a doctor and he still looked fine the day before his 9th birthday". Stella.

"But why do I keep dreaming of being in an abandoned barn and being tortured there's even a very good boy stroking my head". Stella.

Stella thought hard but the more she thought about it always raised questions. Finally, he wanted to sleep because he could not find the answer to all his questions. As he went to sleep he suddenly muttered "Hopefully I can meet you". Stella was shocked because of her Why could she mutter so and who she wanted to meet. Suddenly tears flowed and Stella started crying but she didn't know why she was crying. The nanny's aunt heard Stella's cry. He opened the door in a panic and ran to hug Stella.

"Daughter, don't cry. I'm here and I'm going to expel all the things that make the Princess cry". Said the nanny's aunt warmly.

"Auntie can you sleep with me ? I don't want to sleep alone tonight". Stella.

"But my Princess is an impolite nanny to sleep with the Princess. How about I accompany the Princess until the Princess falls asleep and I will also sing a lullaby". Said the nanny aunt.

"It's okay bi. Come sleep with me and I also want to hear aunt sing lullabies to me". Stella.

"alright". Said the nanny aunt.

The nanny aunt sang a lullaby to me. I fell asleep and had a good dream.

Time passed and I was 14 years old....