I LOVE YOU (I LOVE YOU NOT)
Terror Hatred
Twenty-one days have passed since Edi's departure. Both my parents have returned to Palembang after a few days with me in Bandung. We do not implement the superstitions like the people who adhere to the religion of Islam generally in this country because according to my parents who hold firmly the Muhammadiyah mashab - assume that tahlilan is heresy that is doing certain amaliyah-amaliyah which does not exist or is not taught in the time of the prophet Muhammad SAW.
However, we always send prayers every time Fardhu prayers are finished for Edi.
I who still continue to go to the road and go back and forth the hospital asked to resign from the company because of my mobility limitations and also often I feel dizzy every time too much burdened with thoughts. Fortunately Mr. Beni understood my condition - he agreed to my request and still gave me the opportunity if one day I wanted to join again working with his company.
"I know it's hard for you Di" Mr. Beni said after delivering his condolences to me. " You can rest until your condition is completely restored. My mom and I are happy to take you back when you want to get back to work."
"Thank you very much Sir. Father and Mother have been kind to me." welcome me with pleasure.
"Oh yes Di. It just so happens that Me and Mom have been deliberating - We offer you to go umroh whenever you want you can call Vera." continued the old man again. Mr. Beni's words were completely unexpected.When Beni was alive I always dreamed I could go to the holy land to perform umrah worship. But my financial condition was very unlikely at that time.
"This is right sir? I ask as if I still don't believe it.
Mr. Beni smiled." Yes definitely. I never spoke *bullshi*t to anyone." he continued, patting me on the shoulder several times.
After talking long enough - Pak Beni and his wife also say goodbye to return to Jakarta. In the midst of his busy life as a businessman, of course, it is very difficult to set aside time and take the time to visit me who settled in the city of Bandung.
Before his return to Jakarta, Pak Beni left a brown envelope on my living table.
"In, here is a little bit of me and my wife to help with your treatment and needs. If there's anything else you need as usual just tell Vera." he said.
It is something that I do not think there is a leader as good as Mr. Beni who treats me very well when I am not a permanent employee in his company.
Actually, I would like to refuse Mr. Beni's gift - but right now I really need a lot of money for my treatment and also other needs related to Edi's debt.
All this time I did not know if Edi had many loans in some places even for what the money was used I did not know at all. Before we got married, Edi told me that he had a loan at one of the government banks that he used to finance his master's education and also to help his mother's treatment. As the eldest son Edi is responsible for helping the family economy plus his mother has a history of chronic illness. If you expect from a retired Dad Edi who is only a second-class employee it is not enough to finance the lives of parents who have eight children. But the burden was slightly reduced after Edi who was appointed as a government employee.
I know the magnitude of Edi's loan when a few weeks ago - I was surprised by the arrival of several debt collectors who collect loan installments belonging to Edi who had been in arrears for two months. Unfortunately again - who met the debt collectors was a papa who happened to be sitting relaxed while reading the Quran on the porch of my house.
"Good Day Sir. Is this really the home of Diana's mother Rahma the wife of Mr Edi Siswanto? ask one of them who was thick-bodied to papa.
"Yes right." answered Papa briefly
"We from Bank Simpan Pubun Jaya Raya Pak- intend to collect Pak Edi installments that have been in arrears for two months" he said again
"Loans? ask papa not to believe
Then the fat man gave papa an envelope and Papa immediately read a letter in the envelope. Papa's face changed after reading the contents of the letter.
After a long conversation between Papa and the men they finally gave us time to remember the conditions that are still in mourning.
Unfortunately I wasn't home at the time so I didn't know what was really going on and papa told me about it the afternoon after I got back from the hospital.
"How do they know the address of this house?ask Papa
"Eitherway. Papa doesn't know about it either." replied Papa.
"It feels strange that Edi and his family have absolutely no idea I bought this house" I said. I felt annoyed and sat down in the chair next to Papa.
"Diana, what exactly are you using such loan money for? papa asked me as if I couldn't believe what he was facing this afternoon.
"Actually I don't know Pa. I don't even feel like I approve of anything regarding Edi's loan." I said again.
But who did all this, my mind was curious.
The Mercedes Benz G63 that Mr. Beni was riding began to move out of my yard while the Land cruiser ATPM car driven by Vera trailed Pak Beni's car in tandem behind. Shortly after making sure the vehicle was no longer visible in my sight - I went back into the house. I took the brown envelope Mr. Beni left on the table earlier - after I opened the envelope how surprised I was to see some money inside. Suddenly my heart skipped a beat after counting the amount of money that reached twenty million rupiah in my hand. My hands seemed to be shaking, holding the money in front of me. The money that Mr. Beni gave me immediately I kept in the safe that I hid neatly behind my closet. There were still a few pieces of gold rings given by my parents and wedding rings from Edi left in them.
O Allah, thank you for bringing good people around me even though I am in a bad state even though they are still good to me.
Night-I just wanted to close my eyes after getting tired of typing reports. Suddenly, the sound of the home security complex shouted. Soon the sound of chasing and the sound of a loud motorbike was heard by me.
"Hey, what are you doing there? shouted someone's voice loudly.
A rowdy sound sounded like a falling motor and a commotion between some people outside. I flicked through my window curtains to see the situation outside - I saw Mr. Engkus and Wadi flanking and holding someone in a dark uniform. The three men were standing right at the gate of my gate. Who is that person - with such tight security in this housing estate how can a thief get into a residential neighborhood.
"What's up, Mr. Kus? ask me from behind the window.
"this is Mom, this guy was like he wanted to throw something at mom's house.
uh huh? throwing something, I asked. Is this guy who's been terrorizing me with carcasses and shit and who he is and what he means.
I immediately went out of the house and approached the guards who were still holding the stranger. Apparently the noise was not only surprising me - some neighbors also came to the scene to find out what really happened.
"Who are you really? I said to the man whose face was still covered with black ninja.
The man did not answer. Then Mr. Ervin as the head of RT in my place approached the man and swiftly pulled the headgear of the foreign man.
How surprised I was to see the familiar face before me.
"Andi." I said as if I could not believe that this man in front of me was Andi-the fourth brother of Edi. " What do you mean do all this." I asked again curious.
"Don't pretend to be stupid, Diana. We won't let you live quietly!" he said in a high voice.
"What's my fault? ask me again this time really I can't hold back my anger.
"You've already made my brother die. You also made our lives difficult." he said again with hate.
"Hey, I should be the one to talk that way" I said irritatedly as I pointed my index finger at Andi's face. "You guys all this time can only sue me. Whether you realize it or not you've really manipulated my life." Andi wriggled want to rebel and separated from the handle of the guards. His hand seemed to be trying to pounce on my face.
Fortunately Mr. Ervin immediately stood by us. So that Andi hindered his efforts to attack me.
"That's it. Let's just finish it off with the nearest police officer " said Mr. Ervin. The burly man gave a warning to the security guard to take Andi to the nearest police station for further questioning. "Mom Diana-please get back to rest. Later if it is needed, surely Ms. Diana will also be questioned by the police." said Mr. Ervin again to me.
I just assented. No longer want to ask questions. Holding back such an emotion just now suddenly made my left temple a painful impact scar - and my body suddenly broke into a sweat.
"Sorry Mr. Ervin. I went back inside first. I really want to rest." I said
Mr. Ervin invited me and the man with Mr. Engkus and Andi climbed into Mr. Ervin's car to take Andi to the police station.
On top of my bed - I was completely out of thought with what had just happened. So hateful was Edi's family to me - and I never felt bad to them. Even their bad treatment for me has never been reciprocated.
All I want from them is- They're getting away from my life.