I'm Single Mom
ASM 1'S

" Mal, I'm pregnant!" I said this afternoon by the lake.

The man named Akmal who was standing next to me stared intently at me.

" I'm pregnant!" Repeat it harder.

" Continue?" Ask indifferently.

" You have to take responsibility." Saying again.

" No way, we're still in school." Said firmly.

" you mean?" I pretended not to understand the meaning of the conversation.

" Dismantle!" Declared.

I pulled his collar, "fucking loser! This is your son. You want to run away from responsibility?"

He threw my hand, "Little woman, not worthy of me. I still have goals I want to achieve. He may not be my son." Sneaky.

" You're saying this isn't your son? You recall? You took my virginity that night." I recalled the sweet moment when we felt the heaven of the world in an empty house.

" I'm sorry, I can't take responsibility." He left me alone on the shore of this lake.

I chased after him, but I was quickly defeated by his long footsteps.

Akmal's white sports car is already away.

I cried with the rain that fell this afternoon. Nature seems to be sad to mourn the misfortune of my fate.

I've been sitting by this lake for two hours. My clothes were wet from the rain. My tears have not stopped, even my eyes have felt swollen from crying for too long. This lake is always quiet, it used to be only me and Akmal who often visit here.

Sayup-sayup sound Adzan, which indicates that the day is almost magrib. I walked along the path that was a little muddy because of the rain water earlier.

If you walk, it takes fifteen minutes to get home. Sometimes I rub my wet cheeks. My body shivered from the cold. I never imagined that my life would be like this.

My name is Salsabila, my mother and father used to call me Salsa. I'm my first child and my second sister Zaskia is twelve years old.

My father was a hard worker, all the work he made money doing. Mother, she is just a housewife.

I did not feel I had reached the front of the house, Dad was sitting on the porch relaxing while enjoying a coffee beside him.

" Assalamu'alaikum..." I say hi.

" Where's the clock coming home?" Ask dad.

" From group work, yeah." Answer me lies.

I hurriedly cleaned myself up, then I went into the room and locked myself in this small room.

I grabbed the phone that had been stored in the bag. Looking for Akmal's name, trying to call him. I hope his heart melts. But the number can not be contacted, in fact my number has been blocked.

" Akmal! I don't know how to deal with this. What if my stomach grows?

You are the same as me." I started talking to myself, but shrank the volume of my voice out of fear of being heard by my father and mother.

I tried to get in touch with Akmal's friends, but they were the same, no one would pick up the phone from me.

I sat on the edge of the bed. Put the phone on the table. I straightened my legs, slowly massaging them.

Today not only my legs are tired, but my heart is not much different.

What am I supposed to do??? I hit my own head for not finding a solution to my own problems.

Tok.dok..

" Sal? Already sleeping?" There was a call from outside, it seemed to be the voice of mother.

I opened the door, there was my mother's shady face in front of my bedroom door.

" What's up, ma'am?" My toot.

I just nodded, nervous to lie. How can I eat, if I see food alone it feels like I want to vomit.

" Oh, you're doing a job?" Mom looked into my room.

" E-i yeah, mom." Answer's short.

Without saying much, my mother left me alone. I still stared at my mother's slightly bent back.

" O Allah, forgive your servant." My tears came back.

****

I'm ready to wear my school uniform. Many times I look in the mirror. Look at my stomach still flat. I'm also looking for ways to avoid having breakfast with my family.

" Mom, called mom." Zaskia.

I didn't answer yet, he ran away from my room.

I picked up the bag, then walked into the dining room. Dad, Zaskia's mom is enjoying her breakfast this morning.

I was just glued to look at those who were so greedy to enjoy the white rice that was still steaming with egg sauce.

I shut my mouth. Don't let me throw up in front of mom and dad.

" Sa, why just stand there? Come on, have breakfast! Look it's almost seven." Mom stopped eating and took the plate for me.

" lady... I'll just bring the supplies. Today there's a picket schedule." Said reasoned.

" Mom, make provisions for Salsa immediately, fearing it will be too late." Dad's orders.

Without wasting time mom immediately filled the rice and side dishes into the rice supply.

I say goodbye to both of them.

I set foot towards my school building which was only five hundred meters away from my house.

I'm not what I used to be. Sweat drenched my clothes. My body also feels weak.

With great difficulty I finally got to school.

To unwind, I dropped my body on the long chair. I looked at the rows of motorbikes parked neatly. One of them is Akmal's motorcycle.

The tiredness that had struck immediately disappeared just because he remembered his name.

I walked towards the twelfth grade of ipa 1.

Akmal is one of the smartest students in this school. To make me fall in love with him.

So when Akmal suddenly expressed love for me, without wasting time I immediately accepted it.

There are doubts about getting into this ipa class. But for the sake of the fetus that needs Akmal accountability, I round out my resolve.

I stood in front of the door of Akmal class. He was chatting with some of his boy and girl friends.

I was still silent, not knowing what to do. Until a friend I knew named Syam nudged Akmal.

Sham pointed at me. Akmal's face that was smiling kindly with friends changed immediately as he looked at me.

He looks at me cynically. Some of his friends still tease us. With heavy steps Akmal walked towards me.

His face this morning was like it wasn't Akmal's face I knew a few months ago. That face, like a durian face full of thorns. No smile at all. Where is Akmal's carefree face?

Now we are facing each other, though,

" Want what?" tanyanya jutek's.

Last night's pain has not healed, now he sows salt again in the wound. I tried to hold back the crying. Don't let my tears invite people who see us.

With quivering lips, "We need Akmal to talk." My words are full of emphasis.