I'm Single Mom
ASM 11's

Suddenly I miss home, miss my comfortable room, miss school, miss my dad, miss my mom and Zaskia. What are they doing? I didn't even get to tell Zaskia. Is he looking for me? Will he feel lost? Ah, Zaskia.

" Oh Allah... Take care of my family, take care of my mother, my father Zaskia. Don't let Zaskia follow in my footsteps. And... Give health to this good grandmother, O Allah...." My prayer in my heart.

My eyes began to get sleepy, and I finally fell asleep soundly and for a moment could forget my problems.

*

I woke up to the sound of roosters crowing against each other.

I didn't find my grandmother next to me. With heavy eyes, I was forced to wake up.

The aroma of cooking pierced my sense of smell, making my middle village rebel asking to be filled.

" Babies shameless belly." I am in my heart holding my stomach.

I still noticed that my grandmother was very good at cooking even though she was not young anymore.

" Sa, are you awake?" Grandma's call surprised me.

Shamefully I approached this kind-hearted grandmother, "sorry Salsa yes, Grandma. Don't know yourself waking up bad."

" Grandmother understands, pregnant women do tend to be lazy."

Lazy? Did my grandmother experience the same thing as me?

" Battle first, after that we eat."

" Yes nek." I hurried to carry out my grandmother's orders.

*

I really enjoy Grandma's cooking, even though the food served is just simple food. I shamelessly filled my plate with rice and side dishes.

" Eat the full. Usually if pregnant women must be hungry continue." Grandma said with a smile.

" Thank God..." I thank you for feeling full.

" Sa, instead of you living alone in your mother's house, it's better to stay here with grandma."

I pondered for a moment, but what if mom found out I didn't follow her orders? I must be disappointed with me again.

I shook my head weakly and reverted to the dilemma, "thank you for grandma's offer, but... I'd be disappointed if I didn't follow her orders. God willing, Salsa is brave. Some of our houses are close together, so if Salsa suddenly gets scared, Salsa's just running to Grandma's." Candidate with a smile.

The granny of the mangosteen accepted my decision.

And today we both cleaned mom's reot house. Grandma also asked the neighbors to connect the electric lights to my house so that the night will be bright and not dark.

My grandmother and I also took the time to shop for kitchen needs as well as some household furniture needed.

Don't forget I bought a mattress as my bed later tonight.

Finally.the mother's home is much more comfortable. There's no such awesomeness as I saw last night.

" Thank God it's comfortable. Grandma wants to go to work first. Fine at home. If you don't sleep alone tonight come to grandma's house." Nek Aminah's message to me.

I glanced at my phone, it's three o'clock, "it's late afternoon, what's it going to do?" Askaqua.

" Mom's gonna start for a second." A smile passed from my presence.

Oh Allah... So grandma works as a scavenger. My eyes condensed to see the endless struggle of Aminah's grandmother in her old age.

I looked at the departure of Nek Aminah, there was a sense of tightness hanging on my chest. I who have not become a useful human have dared to throw dirt on the faces of father and mother.

*

Starting at dusk, the voice of the Maghrib reverberated. Immediately I performed the three rakaat prayers. Do not forget the prayers I offer. One of them is the health of the mother's father also Zaskia. There is a longing.

Silent and quiet, only the sound of crickets singing cheerfully. I picked up a phone that I had never touched in a few days. Opened the beer logo to find out about my friends. It all talks about me being kicked out of school for being pregnant.

It was painful, like a wound sprinkled with salt. I don't want to linger in the blue logo app.

Ma'am, have you broken family ties with me?

I'm looking for dad's number, but I'm afraid to call. After gathering courage I tried to call my father's number, three times but no answer.

Father, are you vengeful for me? So don't apologize to me one bit. Is it because I'm not your real daughter, dad? I want to scream as loud as possible to get rid of chest tightness.

I laid my weak body on the floor mattress I bought this afternoon.

Akmal, if you knew the sacrifice I made because of our mistakes, you would never leave me. My life is hard, Akmal. I had to lose the love of my father and mother, I also had to part with Zaskia, my beloved sister. I also have to accept the harsh reality that I am only a daughter of Susila Tuna.

" It hurts, Akmal." My spirit is helpless.

Tok.dok..

My door was knocked on by someone. My heart is beating fast, who's coming?

I still remained silent not one bit let alone let out a sound.

" Assalamu'alaikum, Salsa. This is grandma."

Huft... I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief after knowing who had come.

I rush to open the door. Sure enough there was a grandmother standing with something.

" Mr..."

Grandma came into my house.

" You must not have eaten? It's granny bawain grilled fish, we eat the same huh?"

There's a sense of harrum in the recesses of my heart, "grandmother why bother?" I'm embarrassed.

" No fuss, it's normal. Grandma got her sustenance from a good man. So grandma remembered you."

We ate together on the little mat I named in the living room.

" Good grandma."

" Yes, pregnant women must be diligent in eating, not to forget. It will affect the same development of the fetus that you carry."

" Sir, thank you for caring about Salsa. Salsa is nobody. Not a grandmother's child or grandchildren and grandparents, but the grandmother's attention is very similar Salsa. Salsa is like not losing your affection."

We looked at each other sincerely. Maybe we are like a symbiotic mutualism, needing each other. I who need the love and affection of a mother and grandmother Aminah who longs for the figure of children and grandchildren who have gone forever back to the side of the creator.

" Mr, tomorrow grandma's working?" My toot.

" Yes" answered the grandmother briefly.

" Salsa's coming with grandma?"

" seriously? Grandma looked at me in disbelief.

" Yes Grandma, Salsa cannot stand by and accept people's mercy. Salsa had to show that Salsa was able to stand at Salsa's feet even without her husband." Convincing.

" But you're pregnant, nduk." Grandma again.

" This pregnancy is not a barrier to the mother." Saying again.

" Yes if that's what you want. Tomorrow morning Grandma will stop by your house. Now that grandma's home, don't forget the real door lock. Remember never to open a door if someone's coming in the night." Grandma's message to me.

*

The night is getting late, there are only the howls of dogs that are mutually disdainful.

" Akmal what are you doing? You know, I'm scared tonight? Without you knowing, me and the baby dede will be someone strong, brave and thick with steel. Don't ever regret it if one day he doesn't acknowledge you as his father." My mind is busy making fun of it.

After feeling tired, I finally fell asleep on my own, clockwise to the number three in the morning.

This is my struggle for our son, Akmal.