I'm Single Mom
ASM 19's

"Sir, why not get married?"

" It's not that easy, Zaskia. Many men can love mbak, but not with El. Ma'am doesn't want El to lack affection."

" Mom don't be selfish, dong. You also need to be happy, you need a life partner." Zaskia said she doesn't want to lose.

" Sure, there will be rainbows after it rains."

" And the rainbow won't always be there after the rain, mbak." He still persists in defending his opinion.

" Although there is no rainbow, but with the rain, the dry wells will be re-imposed, the vegetables will flourish. Livestock will not be lacking." Obviously again.

" Mom is the best. I lost the same debate." Guru Zaskia's.

" Not arguing, Za. At least that's the fact."

" Sir, will you come to my father's house one day?" He asked me doubt.

My mind glared to nine years ago, when my father kicked me out and opened the secret of my identity, I shook my head weakly.

" why? Angry with dad?"

" No, I'm afraid that my father is still angry at me. Not exactly.." my words stopped.

" Don't you?" Zaskia awaits my follow-up.

" ah. Forgetit. Sleep yuk, it's night." I covered half my body with a blanket.

Not much to say, Zaskia began to close her eyes and was lulled in a dream.

Even though I asked for sleep, my eyes could not be compromised.

I even started crying in her.

" Mom, God finally met Salsa with Zaskia in a very beautiful way. It turns out that if God had acted, no one would have been able to go against His destiny."

" Mom, am I wrong if I still refuse to make a friendship with my father? I'm afraid that you still can't accept the presence of Salsa and El." I still wail to myself.

On the one hand I miss you, but on the one hand I'm afraid you're scratching a wound in El's heart.

If I were the one who scratched, maybe that's normal. But what if El is alluded to? All this time I was so guarding El's heart, I didn't want El to be like a cracked glass.

*

Sayup-sayup heard the echo of the Adzan in the mosque. I started my morning by running two rakaats. Next I cooked breakfast. The menu is simple, only fried rice and Zaskia's favorite beef eggs. I've got Zaskia's favorite menu. In the past we always scrambled to praise mother's cooking, for us mother-made fried rice is the most delicious fried rice on the face of the earth. Usually mom would kiss our cheeks one by one.

Zaskia and El are awake, they've taken a bath. Looks like they're chatting on the porch of the house.

I look at them with a bad feeling. If only mom was still there? Of course complete our happiness.

" El, Za, let's eat." I called them for breakfast. Not to forget I also put fried rice and beef eggs in the lunch box. El I'll ask to deliver this fried rice to Grandma.

" El, please anterin to grandma's house,dong!"

" What the hell is bun?" El looked curious

" Fried rice. Cepetan let's have breakfast together."

El ran out of the house with his hands carrying a stockpile of fried rice.

" Neek Aminah who the hell is she? Za does not know. He still has blood ties to us?"

" He was a nobody, even between mbak and nek Aminah had no blood ties, but mbak 7da considers the nek Aminah is part of the family in the life of mbak. Long ago... When I first set foot here, when I had no acquaintance, no brother, Grandpa Aminah came to accompany loneliness mbak, Grandpa Aminah sincerely helped mbak in everything. Including giving negligee when the stomach is already big and giving baby diapers for El. Now when the Grandpa Aminah has no more energy, it's time to help the Grandpa Aminah."

" Oh..." Only that word came out of my sister's mouth.

" Bun, let's eat. El uda is hungry."

The arrival of El made me forget the turmoil of my past.

*

We were relaxing in front of the house, Za was fiddling with her phone.

" Bun, that aunt said El's face looked like someone, bun."

" Sort of like aunty's boyfriend." El complains while laughing.

Zaskia who heard El's words could only smile in embarrassment.

" Can you see your girlfriend?" I became curious about my brother's choice.

" Nobody, just friends." Said evasive.

" What job?"

" Lecturer." The answer was short without seeing me.

" Good school, make father and mother proud." My message to my sister is my only puppet.

While relaxing, my neighbor came to ask for help to make a cake at his house. Without much thought I immediately accepted. It's good for El's extra snacks.

" Za, what are you going home for? Do I need to order an ojek?"

" No need to bother, ma'am. My friend will pick me up."

I hugged him for a moment, "greetings miss mbak for dad and .."

I don't know what to say to my father's new wife.

" Mama." Zaskia mentioned the call to my father's new wife.

" Yes, for my mom. Later if the time is right, you will visit my father's house with El. Sorry if I can't wait for you to come home, enough extra work for El."

Zaskia peeped at my cheek. He also hugged me tightly. " Za, will often visit mbak's house. Ma'am stays up the spirit yeah, at El." Sad talk.

" El, accompany aunt Za, yes. Don't forget to close the door." I told El.

For the sake of the necessities of life, anyone would never waste time.

*

I'm done helping my neighbor. And today I get a wage of fifty thousand. Thank God, because my neighbor still needs my strength.

Nek Aminah has come to my house, even Grandma Aminah has cooked and cleaned up my messy house.

" Sir, why bother cleaning up my house?"

" You're tired, grandma can't help you with money, so grandma can only donate energy for you."

" Sir, thank you for being so good with me and El."

We hugged in the atmosphere.

" Bun, Auntie Za was picked up by a guy."

I smiled at El's complaint, what's his name?" I asked stale bases.

" Of Akmal."

My chest was like being hit by a big hammer. That name reminds me of the person I miss every night.

" His face looks like your son." The Celoteh nek Aminah.

My heart just doesn't get any better from going up and down. What if Zaskia is dating Akmal?

" God.what are these trials?" Mumbles.

The night is late, but my eyes do not want to be closed. Since hearing the words of El and grandma, my feelings have become unpleasant.

Wretched me? Why Zaskia? Couldn't Akmal find a more beautiful bule?

Why did the meeting I missed find a new problem in my life?

" O Allah, may the man close to Zaskia not be my Akmal, not his father El Akmal. Nor is it the man I miss every second, nor is it the man whose name I always speak in my prayers."

If you were Salsa, what would you do?