I'm Single Mom
ASM 40's

I started pushing with all my might. In the third Ejanan, the sound of crying babies filled this delivery room..

There was a sense of relief, because I managed to bring out my fruit of love for the second time.

I saw Akmal rubbing the corner of his eye, maybe he was moved to see my struggle.

Akmal, complete already our son, there is El who is female and there is his sister El who is male. Which favor of God do you want to deny again?

Beyond my expectations, Akmal kissed my forehead.

" Acturnal..." I'm lirih.

Doctor Ely and a few smiling nurses stared at the scene before them.

I don't know what color my face has changed. It was clear that my face was hot, between confusion and shame.

Can we still touch? While divorce talak has been in gaungkan.

" Congratulations Mal, Sa. Your boys. It's complete. May happiness accompany your marriage. And... You can keep your marriage." Doctor Ely said.

Doctor Ely gave the baby to us and left us.

" His face looks just like yours." Sissy Akmal.

I rubbed the little reddish-colored creature. Now he is in front of us, healthy and perfect. Only her parents' household was ruined.

" Said doctor Ely, later in the afternoon can go home." Akmal said breaking the silence between us.

" Yes, if you want to go home first please." I said without seeing it.

Maybe now my heart is frozen, so no matter how good the Akmal treatment my heart will not waver and be tempted.

" I want to wait for you and..."

Akmal's words hung without any continuation until I raised my face and looked at him deeply.

" And take care of you, afraid that the sister will stay up tonight." Then again after a while of hesitation to continue his sentence.

" No need to bother, you don't have to bother taking care of me, God willing I can be alone. Don't let it be because you're here all your family doesn't accept." My insinuations.

Akmal just sighed, maybe he was tired often I insinuate about his family.

Because I gave birth normally, so this afternoon I can go home. In the car I was just staring. There were no words we had to put together to break the silence between us.

*

We have arrived home, El welcomes us with great enthusiasm.

Without waiting for long, without asking anyone for approval, I pinned a good name for my son, Baraka Aldilla Yusuf.

" Mother... Dedeknya who's his name?"

" His grandfather has no name yet..." Answer Akmal softly.

" The name of his dear brother Joseph... Baraka Aldilla Yusuf." Yanpa looked at Akmal.

" Dedek Yusuf, El's brother went to tutoring first. We'll play again."

Veni drove El off to tutoring. Nek Aminah took Joseph to my room.

" Why don't you compromise on naming your kids?" Akmal looked annoyed at me.

" What is a dry?" I asked back.

" You think without me, you can have your own child?" Akmal's voice rose, and this was for the first time.

" Can you lower your voice a little?"

" You do not want to give the name of the child. Cake my name behind our son's name. That's El you use my name." Akmal protested and began to compare.

" El used your name because at that time I was still talking to you. Now that my feelings have faded, I don't have any more feelings for you." Honest tidbits. And this sentence makes Akmal hurt again.

" I don't love you anymore, Akmal. I've moved on." I screamed in front of his face.

I left him alone in the living room. I'd rather take care of Joseph than have to fuss with Akmal. I'mtired.

I closed the door so tightly that Joseph was shocked and wept loudly.

" What's up Sa?" Nek Aminah was surprised to see me cry.

I sat on the side of the bed. My two hands covered my wet face.

" Grandmother, it's a fate that I have to live with." I cried myself.

" Don't cry, try to hold onto Yusuf for a moment. Grandma's gonna make milk."

How could Joseph be strong if I were weak.

" Cup.cup..cup.pity..pardon mommy." I felt guilty for making Joseph so scared.

Criet.

The door of the room opened, there was Akmal's face with a bottle of milk.

He took Joseph out of my hand.

" It's the same dad, yeah. You're thirsty, son." Akmal began to fondle Joseph with affection.

Joseph began to shut up, as if he was enjoying the milk his father was holding.

LlplpAs a mother, this sight is what I miss.

" The father's son... " Akmal rubbed the corner of his eye. I think he's crying.

Akmal put Joseph in bed because his phone rang many times.

He simply stared at the screen of his phone without intending to press the green button.

" Come home!" Gently banished.

" I still want to stay here with you, take care of Yusuf if it's a fussy night." Weak Akmal speech.

" I can do it myself. Your family needs you more. Remember, we're not husband and wife anymore after your divorce talk." I reminded our status.

" We are not husband and wife, but I am a father of children. Until then it won't change."

I approached this worried man. Poor, he had to live under the pressure of his parents and family.

" Akmal, until at any time until your name is written on the tombstone, you remain the father of our children. It won't be replaced, at all."

Akmal held my hand. Peace, comfort, but my heart is frozen.

" Come home!" Saying again.

" Tonight... Just let me in here. Enjoying the moments I've missed with El.

And tonight here we are in our room who bear witness when we become husband and wife.

Akmal hugged me in his sleep. I could not resist, for my body longed for the embrace of Akmal. What sins do we do? Let it be an affair between me and the creator.

*

The birds began to chirp, the sun began to peek behind the slit of my bedroom window.

I faintly heard the commotion outside.

With a limp path, I opened the door of the room. There was a voice of a woman screaming for Akmal's name in front of my house.

" Akmal, I know you're there. Exit mas!" Shouted the woman.

God, that's Zaskia's voice, this early she came home and made a scene.

Has the shady vein broken? They are not even bound by marriage.

I rushed out, there was a frightened El behind the body of Aminah's grandmother.

" Mr, please bring El in." My love.

Nek Aminah rushed to bring El in.

Now I'm directly dealing with a shameless, shameless girl.

" Basic pela cur!" Maki Zaskia to me.

" Your shame has broken up? Shouting in front of people's houses this early?" I am full of emphasis.

" I know Akmal's gotta be here. I just want him to come home and not come here anymore."

" If Akmal comes, is there a problem for you?" Means back.

" He's a future husband, ma'am." He was half screaming.

" But he's the father of my children, if you want to marry a man with children then you have to be ready to share time with his children." My heart does not want to lose.

Zaskia seemed to be unable to accept with my words as fast as lightning she swung her hand into the air. He wanted to slap me, I who had nothing to prepare tried to cover my face with my palm.

" Don't hurt Salsa."

Uh. That voice...