Just More Time
My regrets

Today since morning the rain fell very hard on the earth, the wind and lightning appeared to him.

I offered Sesil to take me to his office. I can't bear to see he has to go on his bike in the rain like this.

I also want to deliver. Coincidentally my office and his office were in the same direction only my office was further away.

"Raka will pick him up, don't be late? I have to go home from work and have dinner ready again"

"Yes, I'll pick you up at 5 o'clock"

"Yes, you are careful. Don't speed the road slippery" Sesil said as we arrived in front of his office lobby.

As usual Sesil kissed my hand, then I drove the car to my office.

Arriving at the office I immediately handed over the documents I worked on last night to Mr. Jeff's room.

The old man was busy in front of his computer screen.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, I want to give up my work"

"Yes, please just put it on the table" said Mr. Jeff without looking a second. He is still focused on his computer.

"Okay sir, excuse me"

I left those documents in Mr. Jeff's room, and I continued the pending work.

Today I can relax a little, because today's work is not too much.

It didn't feel like it was 16:00, another hour it was time to go home, and pick up Sesil.

"Will you please help this before you go home? This is a meeting proposal. I was told by Mr. Jeff to hand it over before the office" Erik said.

"What do you want Rik to do?"

"In the lick continue in the dipupin"

" Hungry? say donk bro.. Yaelaa is asked seriously too"

"Yes, you are. Uda tau gini job means Mr. Jeff to send revisions. But because I ask you so much to help. No papa huh? Please??" Erik pleaded with his face.

"Yes, I help you. But only until 5 o'clock. Ntar is afraid of the cat's garong mosquito"

"You're keeping cats now, aren't you?"

"The garong cat that fucked me up at night"

"Bini itself in the case of cat garong, ntar night not in love new rations tau tasa"

I just laughed, and immediately helped Erik finish the extra work.

"Finally done too, thank you Ka. Thanks to you, it can be finished on time"

"Yes alike. It's not free, tomorrow it's mine"

"Siapp is sorted out boss" replied Erik imitating the style of respect the child flag ceremony.

I saw the clock in my hand. It's 5 o'clock right, must be late to pick up Sesil. The address got bumped again, I thought. I rushed to the office parking lot, and drove to Sesil's office.

There I saw Sesil talking to someone. At first I did not see his face because of the distance. As soon as he arrived at the lobby of the office, Sesil's face was clearly visible. He was Max Sesil's ex before he dated and married me.

It seemed Sesil didn't realize I was in front of him, because I wasn't down, just in the car. What's Max doing here? they talk so familiar. Laughing together, Sesil occasionally hits Max's arm. Then I saw Max holding Sesil's hair. This can't be allowed, I'm patient, I can't stand to see it.

I got out of the car, with overflowing emotions. Sesil only realized my presence "Aaahhhh Raka, a long time ago...."

Sesil had not yet finished his words I pulled his hand towards the car. "Raka, what's wrong with you? come-come to play rough gini?" sesil protest.

I just kept quiet, didn't answer. I run the gas pedal in an indeterminate direction. "Raka, can you slow down? Where the hell is this going? why not go home?

" I don't like seeing you near Max" in a snapping tone, that's the first word out of my mouth.

" You why Raka? Max is just my past. I should've been mad because you were late for the pick-up"

" So happened to happen Max had business in my office Raka. He invited me to talk. I'm not surprised?"

"Yes, but I don't wear anything, too, Sesil"

"Raka, please. melanin the car. I'm scared"

sesil's face was already pale as he said that.

I didn't listen to him. Still treading the gas pedal until the car is traveling at a speed of 100km/h.

"Then I'm the same Max is just a friend, please you believe me. He took the shit in my hair. No more than that. Please Raka, I don't want to die this silly death" a frightened Sesil began to shed his tears.

I clapped my car, to get my anger out of that car. Slamming the door hard, visible from the windshield Sesil was crying.

I walked a few steps away from the car so as not to see Sesil. I don't know why seeing her face made me feel so emotional. All this time I have been patient with his behavior.

"Bruuukkkk" sounded a very loud impact.

I looked back, time stopped at that moment. The car I was driving with Sesil was hit by a container truck. The car was thrown in the opposite direction. Hit a small shop nearby. My breath stopped, with great difficulty I tried to set foot. Although it feels unable, but I have to run.

"SESIL." I shouted.

"True..."

I tried to open that shapeless door. People around you who saw the incident helped.

"Secile.." I shouted again when I saw Sesil was unconscious. With the help of the citizens as hard as I can pull the door of this car, and I managed to open it.

Seeing Sesil who was drooping weakly and covered in blood, my face was deathly pale. It was as if there was no blood flowing in my body.

"Secile..wake up Sesil.." I tried to resuscitate him.

There's no answer..

I kept shouting his name. Broken was my cry at that time, there was no reaction from Sesil.

The ambulance arrived shortly. I lifted up Sesil's weak body helplessly.

In the ambulance the doctor and nurse prepared first aid for Sesil. Sesil uses a breathing apparatus. I couldn't bear to see it, my tears just kept flowing without me stopping. All the way to the hospital, I kept calling her name. No, there was no reaction.

"Doctor.doctor please save my wife" I asked when Sesil was already in the ER room.

"We will do as we can sir, please calm down"

The door of the ER room closed, I waited outside in anxiety. I really regret what I did, I didn't think it would be like this. Two hours I waited in front of the ER room with an erratic feeling.

The doctor came out

"Sorry sir, we have given our best to your wife. God wants something else"

As if in a lightning strike, these legs were no longer strong enough to support my body

"VIKAJIMKA...."

"SEESSIILL.."

"Don't leave me"

I fell weak on the cold hospital floor. I didn't think today was my last day with you. Today is the last day I see your smile. Today was the last day I heard your words

It was as if the world had turned dark.

If only I had been more patient. If only I had brought Sesil home. If only I hadn't left Sesil in the car

None of this is gonna happen

If only time could repeat itself, I would fix it all.