KINARA (Tresno Soko Kulino)
The S2 Part 87
POV Keisya
It's been almost four years since the dark story left by my loved ones after she decided to leave.
I who was depressed and wanted to end my life many times, in fact I was still able to get through it all thanks to God's help and family support.
Since childhood I have lived in seclusion and intolerance adopted by my adoptive parents, I never knew my origins, always in doctrine with a hard attitude and not blending in with the outside world.
When I was eighteen I returned to my homeland according to the aunt who took care of me since childhood.I don't know what a homeland is ,all I know from the books I read is that I go home.
Before deciding to go home, I had heard firsthand the story about my family from my aunt. and when my adoptive parents _papa decided to go home, my aunt and I set up a strategy to escape from the entanglement of papa Anthony and it worked even though I had severe injuries and stress and depression lasts for more than a year.
Too many injuries that I have experienced since childhood make me a person who is choosy and afraid to communicate with others let alone blend in with many people.
Until one day I decided to go with my real father back to the village while studying at the boarding school.
The fate of someone no one knows except God who has determined, I had an accident during my brother's wedding.
After the accident, my father set me up with one of my twin brother's best friends. Reno.
Our relationship was initially fine even though Reno herself was sometimes not kind to me, but my relationship with her mother was very good like her mother and her biological children.
Many ways I did to melt our relationship even though we never knew each other before, but Reno's attitude remained cold as ice.
Until one day when our wedding day has been decided and all things have been prepared, without my guess mas Reno even cancel our engagement.
since that day I have been getting worse, many times I was desperate to end my life because I could not accept the harsh reality that I received.
After that day, Reno disappeared as if swallowed by the earth, never once did I hear news about him. every day I get news about him from Kinar and all the family but they really don't know anything.
Finally I was tired, even though my heart was still hoping for his presence. somehow I could not hate him in the slightest. mas Reno as if it had been embedded in my heart.
Many times I tried to forget, but still could not, the beautiful net and warm smile always adorned the natural under my reasoning.
The more I want to forget it the more I love her.How stupid I am to love despite being so hurt.
Almost four years on, I started to open up to other men, even though I knew for a long time that it was there for me, but I still feel ordinary not to be affected by anything he does.
Hanan.
An authoritative man, handsome face, sweet smile and polite attitude and has above average intelligence.Able to speak in several languages with very eloquent, hafidz Qur'an 30 juz, he said, an IT expert and of course the descendant of a kyai.
Which woman is able to resist the charm of a Hanan? I answer there is none!
With all the advantages that he has, on the contrary, is not able to make my heart shake like when I was missing Reno mas.
In fact, fate nobody knows, twice Hanan proposed to me personally and I refused.
And after all the full moon finally he still tenaciously stepped up to propose to me a third time. Worrying?
Obviously I feel worried, of the many male friends I know on campus only Hanan only who actually dare to face my family, especially my father and my two brothers.
On the one hand I am still with my belief in the figure of Reno mas, but on the other hand I do not want to violate the destiny that God has laid out for me.
With a heart full of worry I am happy with the life-giving.I do not want to step wrong, if indeed the person I hope is not created for me, I do not want to make a mistake, I will sincerely accept the harsh reality of letting go and accepting the other man's proposal.
So full moon I passed, in the end my choice fell on Hanan mas. although in the corner of the heart there was a heartless wound when hearing the fact that Reno was married to the woman of his choice.
This is the path that I must follow, forget my past and open a new page in my future.Bismillah I received a proposal from Hanan.
****
"Ndin, I'm sorry I can say goodbye?" reno asked Andin after the girl had finished her dinner.
Sister Ainin on duty has been out since Andin spent the rest of the rice on her plate.
Although Reno had been with Andin for seven days, but they still did not want to talk or open the topic.even though Andin was awake, his attitude remained indifferent to Reno.
And tonight Reno plans to leave for Andin because he has to return home which was delayed because he had to look after Andin.
"Why should you pay me? I'm not your wife, nor is it your family or brother, if you want to go home just go home" Andin cuek said despite the angle of his heart felt pain when saying those words.
"Yes you are not my family let alone my wife, but I feel entitled to say goodbye because the administration of this hospital in my name as your guardian.Do not misunderstand my attitude ndin, do not you misunderstand me, if indeed you are still angry to this day, it's okay, I also do not need anything to you, I'm sorry for making your life more complicated.I was wrong, I was wrong, I have to go home because my mother is sick" Reno looked back at Andin who had his head down earlier.
"I'm sorry if my words hurt your feelings, it's wrong for your mother" Andin said afterwards.
Reno looked at Andin with a feeling of unworthiness.guilt had hurt the woman and dragged her into the mistake she made.
If when he left and Andin met Doctor Fritz, what would Andin say?.
That's not what Reno is worried about, but rather the attitude of doctor Fritz if he knows that he has lied, will the man of German blood be willing to forgive his mistakes? or is it just leaning her with a lot of advice in accordance with her profession as a mental therapist?
Arrh thinks it makes Reno's pulse thump hard.If only the past could be reworked, he wouldn't have made a fatal mistake.
It could be that now he lives happily with Keisya and their children.Hurried attitude and not no commitment makes him dragged into a fatal mistake until now.
But back to destiny, only God knows the way of human life.