LANTERNS
weeping

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Varka POVs

my life is not the same as most children of this world, When other children get love from their parents, I can not feel it at all. There are many things in this world that I cannot feel, not that I do not want to feel it but that the universe never allows me to feel it.

I wonder what it's like to be embraced and loved by a father?

I wonder what it feels like to be embraced and loved by a mother?

I wonder what it's like to be embraced and loved by a Big Brother?

Do you know what it's like to be isolated in your own family? Never considered to exist and always compared to your sodara? You know how painful it feels.

That's how my life has been, Papah and Mamah only love My Brother. They never considered my existence all along. Everything only cares about KakaKu.

I know Brother Gibran is much better than Me, he is Smart, he is always the general champion of his school, always in any race. But not every child has their own advantages, as well as Me which is different from Brother Gibran.

Brother Gibran, brother Gibran, I am I. We cannot be equated just because we are sodara.

I don't know what I've done that they can't love me like they love Gibran

The Varka POV End

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Varka stepped out of the school gate after finishing her school activities. He walked alone down the sidewalk to get to the bus stop to get home. Her sister had come home first because she was always picked up by her mother, while Varka was always left with the reason 'The car is full'. It was as difficult as it was to accept her presence as a child from Mama as well.

When all the students walk with her friends, Varka can only be alone. He did not know what it was like to have a friend because no one ever wanted to be friends with him. The universe never allowed Varka to be friends with anyone.

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Arriving home, Varka saw Papa, Mama and Kak Gibran sitting in the guest room smiling happily, no matter what they were talking about.

"I came home" said Varka approaching them

No one answered or cared for his presence, it felt like he was tired of getting this kind of treatment but regardless of whether they were his family, he could not hate his own family.

"Oh yes Ma Gibran wants a present? Kan Gibran is champion one more now"

"Oh, baby, what do you want?" Ask Papa

"You Can Mobile Pa?"

"May, I'll buy ya"

"Thank you Pa"

That's enough, Varka's sick of seeing her. After being ignored now he also has to see his brother who is always cared for and loved by his parents.

"I went to Mah Pa's room" Varka said at the end.

"Wait a minute..." Prevent Mama

Varka turned back with a big smile on her face, and she was happy that Mamah finally called her and asked her to speak

"Your brother today is the champion of one more school, the value of the subjects is also above 80 all. You how? What champion?" Ask Mamah

"I'm a 4 Mah champion, isn't it Ma? My ranking rose from the previous semester, My grades are also quite good Ma, I can ask for a gift too" Varka replied with enthusiasm

"What did you say? Champion 4? Shameful, what a good champion 4 Hah.Look Tuh Kaka You always get a champion 1 and can be a General Champion. You're so the child there is no burdening parents yes, usually just make a shame" Snapped Mama

"Don't expect papah love you a gift, instead of making you proud even make you embarrassed" said Papa cynical

Varka let out a tired sigh, He was completely confused by his family. What's wrong with him here?

"Eat learn the real thing!!! Do not wander unclear" said Mama back

"I'm not wandering ma, I'm just playing out for a little while. What's wrong if I only win 4? It's also better than last semester, why mamah equally papa can not appreciate the effort I make can rise my value anyway" asked Varka

"Oh my goodness, you see your Kaka, he is always diligent in learning every day, always reliable as your mother. Always proud of us!! You what?? What have you given us? Gratitude is still welcome in this house"

"I am I, Gibran O Brother Gibran Ma. It can never be the same. Why do I always have to be Kaka? Wh why?? Can't you see me as Varka? I am your son too!!"

"Vark..!!!" Snapped Papa

"I cape Pa always coined with Ka Gibran, Cape pa"

"Cape you said?! You just stay at home and sleep aja cape you say?? Look at your brother who studies every day, sidelines...."

Varka cut off his Papa's words, He already knew and had enough to say where this conversation would go if it continued again. And today was enough for him, he was already quite tired with his school.

"As for my mom and Dad, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to kayak Gibran. I'm sorry Ma Pa" said Varka

"It's good that you wake up" said Mama

Varka immediately breezed away to his room leaving his parents who were now back focused on Kakanya. See how the universe never sided with him, always the focus of all things is his brother. She as a sister also felt jealous of the affection received by her brother but Varka could what if the universe was not on his side.

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"Sister Gibran, come down and eat first..." Shouted my mother from below

It wasn't long before Gibran and Varka went down for breakfast together. Although his presence is never considered but Varka will always try to make it look there. In fact, the events of last night did not make an impact on his family, only he always remembered the events of the incident did not wear

"Sit down baby."

"Yes ma, where's papa?" Ask Gibran

"Papa here. really tumben nyariin papa" said papa then kissed Gibran's forehead

"Hehehe... Pa, Gibran wants to talk something"

"What?" Ask Papa

Varka only watched while eating his breakfast, Toh as usual his presence was never considered to exist.

"Gini mah Pa, Kan Now Gibran is Class 3 Junior High. Could it be that Gibran wants to bring a Gibran motorcycle?"

"May dong darling, won't you pa?"

"Yes, but you have to be careful with the bike. What kind of motor do you want, baby?"

"As far as you go, I'm not asking for a good one. It can be made pa"

"Well then how about the current Vespa motor?"

"Gee.. Dad, Gibran likes it too. Thanks" Gibran replied happily

Varka who saw it felt a little claustrophobic but what was the power he was just a child who was not considered

"Ma, Pa, can I ask you something too?" Ask Varka doubtfully

Varka himself is not sure if his request will be granted but what is the harm in trying

"Ask what?"

"Varka just asked for a color pencil, Pa, could you??"

"Do you still like to paint?" Ask Mama

"Yes Ma"

"There is no work pantes aja your value is ugly turned out to be busy photographing. Look, Kaka you learn to continue to be good grades" said the cynical mama

Varka let out a long sigh, he tried his best not to be provoked by emotions

"This part of you, then you have bought shoes now have asked to buy colored pencils anyway. Don't waste money, it's not important" said papa

"Yaudah Pa, if you don't want to buy it don't papa really." Varka said, standing up

Actually what can Varka expect by asking for something from this family, her request granted?? It seems unlikely that it happened. But he only asked for a small item whose price was not much.

"Varka goes to school first"

Again and again his words were not responded to. He walked away from the house without affection from his parents.

What the hell did Varka get, affection? Of attention? The appreciation? It seems impossible that it happened to a Varka Adibumi

Varka walked down the sidewalk with a wry smile. Sick? Of course, moreover, he was just a boy who had just stepped on the 2nd grade of Junior High and always felt neglected.

Varka sat in the bus stop, sighing tired, tired of everything

"Ma, Pa, Varka also wants to be loved and appreciated by you rich Brother Gibran" muttered Varka while trying to hold back her tears

Varka is angry, Varka is disappointed, Varka is tired, he is jealous of everything. Deep in his heart Varka is jealous, because the universe is only centered on his brother as well as his parents. Varka though? He was alone, whether anyone cared about him or not.