LANTERNS
congested

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HAPPY READING!!

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Varka is working on some tasks in his room, he prefers to spend time in his room so as not to see things that can make him sad and hurt.

Geck... Tok.

Varka turned her head when she heard the knocking on the door, no one usually came to her room.

"Now..." Varka said without bothering to open the door

When the door opened came a familiar face to Varka, someone who always made her jealous, someone who was always compared to her.

"What's up, brother?" Ask Varka

"You wanna play??"

"Where?"

"Yes just go for a walk, it just so happens that the new Kaka motorbike is coming"

"You are very excited" said Varka happily

"Judah come on, why did it die" said Gibran

"But if mom is angry how is sister? I'm scared"

"Eat it de, if told to learn, learn not to volunteer. If you can like Kaka mama and papa must also be seneng"

The smile on Varka's face simply disappeared upon hearing Gibran's words. Even his own brother was comparing themselves.

"Shouldn't you say that too?"

"You mean?"

"Lupain aja deh, Kaka will not understand" said Varka

"Jaudah if that is it. Kaka maen same with the others..."

"Yes Brother"

"Yaudah Bye, don't forget to learn you so you can be like Brother" Gibran said and left.

Varka was silent for a moment looking at the ceiling of her room. The learning spirit that he had just suddenly disappeared, his chest felt claustrophobic hearing his words. Perhaps Varka would be a little fine if only her parents were to compare them but Varka would not be fine if her own sodas also compared her to Varka.

All Varka wanted was to be entertained by her Kakanya when anyone compared them. He just wanted to hear his sister defend him and say that it's okay if he's not like her. But in fact Kakanya herself also compared them.

Varka got up and took his jacket and passed out of the room, he could not stay still at home, he needed fresh air.

Varka came down the stairs and saw Kakanya eating.

"Don't learn to keep loving later you cape, sometimes you also have to get fresh air" said Mama while stroking Gibran's hair

Varka just smiled, a very painful smile. When he is required to continue to learn while his brother can casually go anywhere without fear of being scolded.

"Ma, Varka's out for a while" Varka said

Silent....

There was nothing from her mother that was just busy with Gibran.

"I'm leaving first, I'm definitely going home later in the afternoon" Varka said and left without waiting for an answer because he knew there would never be an answer.

____

Beach...

Yes that is the place that can always make a Varka Adibumi smile calmly, The wind that blows and the sound of water can make his heart feel calm..

"That's pretty..." Mumbled

Varka walked down the beach sand after putting the bike he was using, it was almost afternoon so not too many people came. He then sat on the sand looking straight at the sea that was so calm and some people in front of him who looked so happy. The people there laughed and had fun while enjoying the beautiful beach in the afternoon, while he just sat alone without anyone accompanying him.

Varka took a long breath. Given all the things that happened to his life, why every time he tried his best but still he could not get good results. Wherever he was, he always felt alone.

Sometimes he is also bored if he has to continue to cry alone in the middle of the night just because he is mad and angry. He is tired of always looking okay at school without a friend at his side. Since childhood Varka was always blamed, yelled at, scolded on the grounds that he was very naughty, he was not smart and he was not like Kakanya. Everyone is always comparing the two of them, whether he is too bad so everyone wants him to be like Kakanya.

Varka smiled faintly as she recalled her childhood. For 15 years he has lived and during that time Varka has never felt what love is, No one has ever loved him and cared for him. He bore all his wounds and sorrow alone.

"Everyone says home is the warmest, most comfortable, most restful place. But why am I the only one who can't feel all that? Why is it that only Gibran can feel all that, am I not also part of their family?" Varka muttered

Without realizing the tears came out just like that, it was very tight to hold all the painful things alone, there was no place for him to complain. He just wants to be heard without being judged. Varka was sobbing more and more, he buried his face between the knees of his feet...

Varka immediately wiped her rough tears, she should not be weak like this. The universe must not know that he is wounded, Yes he must be fine in the midst of a cruel world. He is sure that someday his family and everyone in this world will love him.

"It's okay Varka, you're great..." Say it to yourself

"Ma Pa, I will still love you. I wish I could be what you want me to be." Varka muttered looking straight ahead.

____

Helsha is walking down the beach this afternoon, I don't know what it's like to take a walk on the beach like this. There were a few people he could count the number were also on this beach, all of them looking very happy but not with one man in front of him

Unwittingly by the man, Helsha noticed him and Helsha was sure the man was sad, Helsha could see his face was so sad looking straight ahead.

"He was crying again...." Mumbles Helsha

It was not the first time he had seen the man sitting on the beach alone crying, she said, I don't know how many times he saw her crying but all that time Helsha just Dare to see from a distance without being able to comfort her.

But this time either got the courage from where Helsha decided to sit next to Varka and look ahead, too,

"Yes very good." Helsha

Varka was a little surprised because suddenly there was someone sitting next to her and talking to her.

"Sorry to be surprised?" Ask Helsha

Varka just stared at Helsha for a long time and turned her gaze back to the front to enjoy the beautiful afternoon sky,

"crying alone doesn't need to be withheld" Helsha said

Varka looked back at Helsha with a confused look, confused by the question posed by the woman in front of him.

"Everyone has a problem.. My mother said if you want to cry, yes cry just don't hold it"

Again Varka did not answer and just looked towards Helsha. There was something Varka did not understand, why did this woman say that? Did this woman see him cry? Varka is not comfortable with the situation

"My name is Helsha Anatasha"

Helsha stretched out her hand towards Varka with a sincere smile, while Varka simply stared at the helping hand without intending to shake it or answer Helsha's question

"Sorry." Varka

After saying that Varka immediately got up and walked away leaving Helsha who still did not expect because his invitation to get acquainted was ignored.

Helsha looked at Varka's back, which was now further away from where she was standing, why after he had the courage to approach the man who had always been secretly he noticed from afar even like this finally. Is there something wrong with his words or his attitude?? Or the man is closed.

"I clearly heard her apologize." muttered Helsha.

There was something that Helsha always felt when she saw the man.. PAIN ... Well somehow he felt sick every time he saw the man he didn't even know crying. He wanted to try to make her smile because Helsha was sure that the smile of the man must be so sweet.

_____

The time had already shown at 7pm and Varka had just returned home. Upon entering the house Varka was immediately greeted with a hateful gaze from his mother. Mama was standing with her arms crossed in front of her chest while looking at her sharply as if ready to scold her all out.

"Where are you from?" Ask Mama

"From outside Ma" Varka answered briefly

"The wobble continues... Pantes aja value you do not go up, You do not know the time really yes. Now is the time to study, Look at Kaka You have been studying in his room since then while you just came home... Why is it out there, huh?!! Not taking your time"

"Sorry Ma."

"Here you!"

Mama forced Varka's hand and threw it hard, making Varka immediately staggered so hard

"Denger to you!! Never again do you wander obscurely, Do not be shy family name know!!! Couldn't be at all you didn't make a problem" snapped Mama

"I__Yes.ma, Sorry"

"Here you!!"

"Ma is sick... Maafin Vark.. Yes Ma ... It's Sick..."

But as if deaf with the ringing and screaming in pain Varka, Mama continued to hit Varka's arms and legs using a Sweep. There is no pity for Varka, whereas Varka is also a child in this house, but why always get different treatment.

"It's a punishment for you because you're not clear!! Watch out if you repeat"

Mama throws a broom at Varka and leaves immediately, leaving Varka in the middle room who is still down in pain. Should the universe be this evil to him, Can't the universe take his side for a day?? The universe does not feel sorry for him.

Varka got up, with great difficulty he tried to walk to get to his room. No one defended him, no one came to his aid, but Varka knew Kaka and his Papa were in their room. But in fact they were indifferent and pretended not to hear what had just happened.

In the pitch-black room Varka cried alone behind the door, opening her mouth as much as possible so that her cries could not be heard. With the pain he felt all over his body and the tightness that felt very painful.Varka's only hope that tomorrow he can feel a little happiness even a little.