LANTERNS
Unaccepting

Happy Reading

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Gibran approached Varka who is now practicing playing guitar in his room, for the annual school event to be held Later that night. Since the morning there have been many events held, ranging from bajar, races, and many places that we can use to take pictures.

"Lo want to sing?" Gibran asked leaning against the door of Varka's room

"Helsha Listin Lo" he continued

"Yes" Varka replied immediately stopping his guitar playing

"Emang Lo can sing?"

"Now, my voice is really ugly. I just want to make Helsha happy"

Gibran laughed disdainfully

"Don't have to perform, Helsha will be disappointed Ngeliatnya" said Gibran

"Lo intentionally said that? Do you want me to go down and not be confident?" Varka looked at Gibran

"Haha... Very sensitive Lo, I'm kidding"

"Candaan Lo Asik really Kak" said Varka

Gibran shrugged his shoulders indifferently, but he just wanted to remind his sister not to embarrass herself later.

"You know you've been performing, met me in class yes, there's something I want to talk about" said Gibran then passed away.

I don't know what her brother would say to her, but hopefully it's not something that's going to hurt her.

Now it was seven o'clock but Varka had not yet left, he was still confused which clothes to wear. The problem is that there is no dress that is suitable to be worn tonight to school, the theme is Black and White. Varka let out a puzzled sigh, the other male students must be wearing black suits.

"Ouch... My coat is small. How try? Time to wear a shirt" complained Varka staring at a suit that is already small in size

Geck... Geck...

Varka immediately walked towards the door when someone knocked, it felt like brother Gibran had left earlier. Who came to his room? Because all this time only Gibran who often come to his room even though only to babble is not clear.

Varka slightly gasped when she saw that now in front of her was Juna, her father.

"Pa__pa..," said Varka

"This, coincidentally Papa bought for Kak Gibran so all buyin for you too" said Juna thrust a box

"This is what Pa?" Varka asked to accept it

"Hopefully enough on you, papah doesn't really know your size. Yaudah Papa go first" said Juna just left

Varka sat on the sofa of her room, then opened the box that Juna gave her, a beautiful arch immediately imprinted on Varka's face. How not, the contents of the box given by Juna is Suit Suit Suit complete with pants and shirt and tie. Just this time Juna gave Varka a gift like this.

For what? Juna gave her a gift? Things so rare that even Varka never got.

Varka wiped the soft tears that almost fell, it felt so happy to see Juna who lately had not scolded her and began to care a little about her. Hopefully what Juna did was not a mere pretense.

Varka immediately rushed to change her clothes so that she could immediately go to school, tonight she did not need to pick up Helsha because the woman said she would leave first with Nadia.

____

The music festival event will soon begin, if not wrong it feels new when Varka entered High School, but now he will rise to the eleventh grade.

Oh yeah, you guys haven't forgotten about this annual event? Yes tonight for the first time Varka will display his abilities in front of many people because of Helsha's request. If only the woman had not asked him to appear Varka would not have been interested.

The crowd of students who had already arrived began to fill the field used for this event. Some of the students who would display their talents were also getting ready near the stage, including Varka

There Varka was also busy playing his guitar so slowly to memorize the keys of the song he was going to sing.

"Focus who wants to perform..." Helsha said suddenly in front of Varka.

"What song do you want to sing?" Helsha asked and sat down in an empty chair

"Secret wleee..." Varka

"Eh yes Forgot...."

"Just special.."

"Yes, Anyway, Helsha will stand at the front for Varka. The spirit!!"

"Yes Sha. sure"

"More... Let the sound not dry" said Helsha offered a bottle of drink that he had prepared

Varka smiled and received the bottle. Again Varka is grateful for having Helsha by her side.

"Thank you, yeah..."

"Yes, you know what? Varka Ganteng Banget tonight, let alone wear a suit kayak gini more handsome..." Helsha

"This is the shirt that Varka wears with Sha, Varka is very fond of" said Varka

"Seriously? Do you love this?"

"Yes, Shocked right? Moreover, I Sha, wahh anyway can not be expressed the same words" said Varka enthusiastically

His eyes so brightly shone radiating the happiness he was currently feeling, Helsha smiled looking at him. Thank goodness that it turned out that the Varka Family seemed to have gotten a little better towards Varka.

On the other hand Gibran clenched his hands annoyed at seeing the proximity of Varka and Helsha. Gibran most dislikes seeing Varka have things he doesn't even have, Nothing in his life's history if he loses to Varka.

"Gue's sick of pretending to be good." murmured Gibran

All the students were now filling the field, they lined up neatly in front of the stage waiting for the event to start soon.

Honestly, the feeling of Varka is currently very Afraid, after Helsha left earlier he became worried again. I don't know but it feels like Varka is scared

'Don't show up, Helsha will be disappointed'

The words just kept spinning in Varka's head. Is it true Gibran said? If he should not perform, what if later he even disappointed Helsha? What if her appearance is not what she expected? What if he again failed to become a proud person?

The fear of not being able to make Helsha proud arises because during this time Varka always failed to boast of both parents, the trauma was there and real for Varka. Varka was always afraid to do something like this because he was afraid he could not make the people around him proud.

The event had already started, even some people had already advanced and displayed his talent. Varka is still sitting waiting for his turn, and now he lives one and two other students.

"Varka, abis it's Lo's turn. Get ready" an event organizer told him.

Varka's heart was beating very fast, ah It felt like he was scared and not confident. Should he move forward or retreat?

Finally Varka decided to keep going, he did not want to disappoint his favorite woman. To hell with the fear he felt.

"OK, now it's the turn of the students from IPA 3 class who will perform his talents. Let's just call ya, this is Varka Adibumi" said MC

Varka took a deep breath and then exhaled, exhaling,

"Lo can definitely Varka!! Sure can!!" Varka said in her heart trying to encourage herself

Varka walked up to the stage, then sat in the chair that had been provided there while carrying the guitar that he borrowed from his Papah.

Varka circulates her gaze looking for Helsha and hopes to find her whereabouts.

"VARKAAA...!!"

Varka smiled as her net met the eyes of the woman she was looking for.

"HOMEMATE..!!" Shouts Helsha

Again Varka sighed then held the microphone in front of her

"Good night everyone, know the name of Gue Varka" said Varka

Varka sighed again then closed her eyes for a moment and started playing her guitar

The music from the guitar quotes began to sound, all the audience silently watched Varka's performance. Likewise with Helsha, he smiled when he heard Varka's soft voice.

For some reason, Helsha's tears suddenly fell, she was really happy because finally Varka could display her talent in front of everyone. Really, the man who is singing on stage looks so beautiful, so beautiful.

Varka turned her gaze to look at Helsha who was now smiling towards her, the woman in front of her now looked so beautiful.

A soft voice greeted me

Soft as your heart

Sincere as love for me

My life without you

Never fully filled

Because you are half me

Sharing the joy

fill and perfect each other

Because you are half me

Varka's eyes did not look at Helsha. It felt so calm when he looked into the brown eyes of the woman.

Half the Way of My Life

You are my half

There's no regrets

Life is easier when we are both

His way....

My life without you

Never fully filled

Because you are half me

Sharing the joy

fill and perfect each other

Because you are half me

Until the last second of the song Varka did not stop staring at Helsha.

"To Helsha, Thank you for everything. Varka loves Helsha" Varka said after finishing the song

Helsha smiled hearing that, The cries from the students seemed to be unheard by the two of them.

"Good night, thank you everyone" Varka said, then stepped off the stage

____

"Vark... Where's ih? Why even go that anyway? Helsha wants to see" Helsha scolded at the end when Varka picked up the phone from her

"Sha, don't see me yet. Varka's embarrassed"

"Don't be shy... Where do you know"

"Sha sorry yes I was too presumptuous to say dear to you in front of many people. I'm also sorry if I look at you"

"Cock I'm sorry? Where are you now? Helsha would say, cry..." Helsha

"I'm at the rooftop of the X class Sha building"

"Wait there"

Helsha turned off her phone and walked towards the rooftop of the class X building. It was Varka's favorite place in High School.

"Vark..."

Varka turned his head when he heard Helsha's voice, he immediately smiled broadly at Helsha and immediately told Helsha to sit beside him

"The sky is beautiful Banget. Lots of stars" Helsha said

"Yes.."

"Varka's.."

"Hmm??"

"Why did you leave immediately? Why should I apologize?" Ask Helsha

Varka looked at Helsha who was now looking at her

"Eumm... why? Maybe because I'm scared"

Helsha immediately grabbed Varka's hand and rubbed it gently

"Vark..."

"Yes Sha.."

"Why should I be afraid? did Varka admit to what wrong?"

"I'm afraid you're disappointed to see how I looked, sorry? Sorry if it does not match Helsha's expectations." said Varka

Helsha chuckled at her hearing

"Who said I was disappointed? I was crying out!"

Helsha held Varka's hand tightly

"Varka denger huh? Don't be afraid, whatever Varka does Helsha must be very proud, as long as it doesn't hurt Varka. The lyrics of the song you sang earlier, right? You want to tell everyone that you've found half of yourself... You mean your half i___"

"You..." Cut Varka

Helsha frowned

"What?"

Varka stared at Helsha's chocolate bead, and then stretched out her hand to tidy up the hair that covered Helsha's face in the wind.

"That's you Sha. Half of me is you"

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only place where I can get all over, you're the only place where I can feel safe and calm, you're just Sha. You are the most comfortable home I have, every word you say, your gaze, your smile, your embrace. It's all I've considered home, you're the only one who can support me when I'm fragile. You're the safest house for me, Sha..."

"I've been living my life behind closed doors, and I feel like all doors are shut for me. I used to not be able to sleep quietly, even breathing even though it was difficult to banget. At first it was very dark Sha, I felt it was not accepted anywhere but after I met you slowly the doors that were once closed began to open slowly and finally the light could enter. My life has changed since your arrival Sha"

Helsha faithfully listened to every word that came out of Varka's mouth, a feeling that this man had always hidden

"I've never had money to spend, dreams to achieve, I've never even had love to take care of. I feel so lonely, I just hope there's at least one person who can understand my feelings, One person is enough for me Sha."

Helsha stroked Varka's hand gently, trying to strengthen the man. It must be very hard to say all this.

"I don't want to show myself weak in front of you, even though I know that you know everything about how fragile I am but I want to try to always smile in front of you"

Varka sighed before continuing her words

"Things all things I can explain to you, not all things I can reveal to you Sha. Some things I can only keep and pass by myself, there are feelings I still can't tell you. So tired of feeling this feeling, Sorry I Sha" said Varka

"Varka Dengerin Helsha, there's no need to force yourself to make the story all the same to me. Especially if it makes you turn into someone else, whenever you want the story Helsha will always be ready to bolt with horror. Each person must have their own shortcomings and uniqueness, That is human and That is You Varka..."

The two were silent for a while, feeling the soothing gust of wind and music from the school grounds still being heard.

"Helsha..."

"Yes?"

"I realize, even at the age of us who are still fairly young, I shouldn't talk about this kind of thing. But Sha, I'm serious about that. You're half me, you're my home, you're where I come home"

Helsha smiled

"Sha, stay by my side, will you? Please never leave me alone, help me open all closed doors, help me make happy, help me clean up all the dreams I have now. I promise, later if I am the same you are both grown up, I will take you to a place where there is only me with you. Later there we build a house for both of us, huh?"

Helsha nodded

"Helsha, thank you. Thank you for making me calm so far. Don't leave me, will you? Promise?"

Helsha smiled then immediately clasped Varka's body tightly.

"promise. Helsha promised not to leave Varka. Helsha is very dear to Varka, thank you for surviving so far. Let's stay strong and survive Varka"

Never underestimate someone's mentality, we never know what they've been through so far. Let's stick around for the people we care about, at least hold on to the things that make you happy.