LANTERNS
sulking

Happy Reading

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"What do you want to drink?" Helsha asked after they returned to the field

"What aja"

"Judah, buy it in my class? The drinks are good" said Helsha

Varka nodded, Helsha was about to let go of the link of their hands but Varka instead clasped her hands more tightly making Helsha frown at the feeling of being colonized.

"Ihh Varka mah, what?" Ask Helsha

"I want to see Sama ka Gibran first for a while yes, you buy a drink just keep waiting here later I return again"

Helsha looked at Varka worriedly, worried that Gibran would do something no-no or say something that would hurt Varka

"Remain calm, I'm sure Kok Gibran won't do anything about me" Varka said, understanding Helsha's worried gaze

"Anyone, am I?" Helsha rose

"No, Varka can be alone"

"But.."

"Udah there buy his drink Varka thirsty will meet here again" said Varka pushing Helsha's body slowly to go

Helsha looked at Varka who was now smiling at her, her feeling completely unsettled. But seeing Varka who convinced herself that everything would be fine, made Helsha inevitably try to think positively.

Varka stepped into the class that Gibran had mentioned, It's not too dark nor too bright, the atmosphere is also quiet because the students are gathering in the field.

Varka could see Gibran currently standing behind her by the window.

"Sister." Call Varka

Gibran turned around when he heard Varka's voice calling out to him, He looked seriously at Varka and walked up to him.

There was only silence for a moment making the atmosphere even more awkward between the two.

"Gue wants to talk" Gibran said

"What?"

"Gue likes Same Helsha"

Varka who had been staring in the other direction immediately turned his eyes to Gibran.

"Make me, huh? In exchange for whatever you want I'll love, what do you want? Want to love mommy with papa? Easy later I just tell them to watch Lo"

"Lo thinks Helsha's stuff? It seems like it was dituker. Very funny indeed Lo" said Varka a little annoyed to hear Gibran's remarks that seemed to demean Helsha

"Gue just Ask Helsha to be Lo"

"What's not satisfied, Lo? All this time you've had everything Brother, even the attention of mama is equally papa Lo dapetin. I just have Helsha and now you want to take it from me? It's not sane Lo!!"

"Gue just likes Helsha, is it wrong? Reasonable dong. I'm just asking what's so hard? Stay Lo love him to me later what you want me to love including mom same papah)"

"I told you Helsha is Not a Thing Brother!!" Varka with high intonation

"Let's relax, I'm talking well" Gibran said

Varka sighed and looked at Gibran again

"Well, brother, sorry? Let me be selfish this time. I will not let Helsha leave my life, if you like her gapapa. But please don't take him out of my life"

"Lo don't love me Varka?" Ask Gibran

"Darling? Same Lo? I love you very much Lo brother, I'm willing to tell you what to do Lo. Just don't Helsha, huh?"

"Vark..."

"Gue doesn't want to fight you just because of this, brother"

"Well, how dear is Helsha? Did I lose to Lo this time?"

"Sister, I cum..."

"I used to talk!" Cut Gibran

"Varka, I love you, very dear. Actually I also care a lot about Lo, but how? I can't explain the reason for my attitude all this time.."

"Varka sorry? But I love Helsha too. I can't pretend I don't like it anymore, I can't feel it anymore. Do you know how I didn't like to lose? So I'm dapetin Helsha, right?" Gibran

"So, I know that you don't like to lose. Even Lo will do everything so that Lo's will is achieved, even from when we were children Lo always like that."

"Yes that's Lo know, so gapapa dong if I like Helsha!!" Said Gibran who also slightly raised his voice

"Gue does not turn on Lo if you like Helsha, that's right Lo Kak. But brother, do you realize that you have been so evil? After all this time Lo became the darling of mamah papah, You still have the heart to take the only person who is valuable to me? How much do you hate my sister? You know, you're like gini-sampe?"

Varka is not inexhaustible with her brother, all this time what is not obtained by her brother just get it, all this time who always gives up? Who is always sacrificing? Who always gives up? It's just Varka. When did her brother let one thing belong to her that Varka could have? Even Gibran's affection never shared it.

"Gue love Lo but I also love Helsha, how dong? Now you're backtracking, huh? Do you love me?" Gibran

"Gue loves Lo, but if I take a step back I can't brother. I feel like I've always done enough"

"Rather than I let go of Helsha, I better be hated by the same Lo who never even once showed affection to me as a sister. Is it, brother? Please don't push my happiness away"

"So you don't know yourself!!"

"What did Lo say?" Ask Varka

Did he not hear wrong, Gibran said if he did not know himself? Isn't that too much?

"Lo doesn't know himself, doesn't know himself. Lo it's not pantes for Helsha, she's beautiful, pinter, from a good family. While Lo? The Olympic race has lost!! Do not know yourself" said Gibran underestimated

"So I've been talking and asking nicely Lo yes, and Lo instead invite me to argue like gini? Lo think Lo who? Can you please give me? Don't be the most hurt man"

"Sister..!!!" Snap Varka

"One more time, Love Helsha for Me and I will give you whatever you want. We both benefit here"

Varka clenched her hands holding back emotions, no matter if her brother was scolding her or saying something hurtful to her. But Varka did not accept that if this brother had demeaned Helsha like this, Helsha was not an item that could be exchanged at will

"Gue... I said the same Lo. HELSHA'S NOT AN ITEM!!" Shouts Varka emotion

"She's just an ordinary girl Varka, you shouldn't have let her get this far. She's just sorry for Lo, she's just like any woman out there"

"SISTER..!!" Varka said grabbing Gibran's collar

Gibran smiled slightly,

"Helsha has no price!! I just like him because he's Deket Lo. I don't like you having something I don't" Gibran whispered

Varka was about to punch Gibran in the face but a voice stopped Varka

"Vark... Stop!!" Shouted Helsha standing on the doorstep.

Because it took too long for Helsha to finally decide to look for Varka. And he did not expect at all to find Varka with a view like this. After Helsha Varka was never this angry, whether what was spoken by Gibran to make Varka as it is now. Helsha was convinced Gibran must have said something outrageous.

Gibran turned his face away and smiled and looked at Varka who was still clutching his collar

"See?" Gibran said slowly

Helsha immediately walked towards Varka, she grabbed Varka's hand which tightly gripped Gibran's collar. Helsha could see if Varka was currently angry.

"Yes, Lepasin, Varka." said Helsha

Helsha gently held Varka's face to look at her.

"Udah huh? Lepasins? Get him your brother" said Helsha

Varka sighed then let go of the clutches of his hands violently making Gibran stagger slightly back. He did not want Helsha to be worried because of the quarrel between him and Gibran.

If it wasn't for Helsha, Varka would have hit this Kakanya hard already. He stared intently at Gibran who was now smiling lightly at him.

Is such a person worthy of being called a big brother? Should a Kaka behave like this? Shouldn't a brother love his sister?

"Let's just go!" said Helsha holding Varka's hand

As Helsha and Varka were about to leave, Gibran reluctantly held Helsha's other hand. Making Helsha's steps stopped as well as Varka.

"SISTER..!!" Varka snapped because Helsha almost fell because of Gibran holding his arm

"Gue wants to talk to Helsha, so just let's go"

"No need to hold onto it" said Varka, releasing Gibran's hand from Helsha's

Gibran turned to look at Helsha. He then got a little closer to the woman.

"Sha mumpung you are also here I want to say, since the first time I saw you join OSIS I was interested in you. I'm not going to beat around the bush, I like you. You want to be my girlfriend?" Gibran said that succeeded in making Helsha surprised

Unlike Varka who just lowered her head and walked backwards, she did not want to hear an answer from Helsha that might be painful for her. The fear of losing Helsha was again present when Gibran boldly expressed his feelings, Varka alone was not that bold. Even deep down he loved and loved Helsha.

"Huh? Meanin?" Helsha was still shocked

"Shocked huh? Sorry, I suddenly talked like this. But I seriously like you. Want to be my girlfriend?" Ask Gibran again

Helsha looked at Varka who was now standing on the doorstep behind her, Helsha knew the man was deliberately away. Helsha took a breath then looked at Gibran.

"Well, brother, but I don't like Big Brother Helsha like Sister Varka. You better find another girl, huh? I am also not as beautiful and smart as that to be with an OSIS chairman like a sister. Sorry, sister" said Helsha

"Why then? I also don't know why I don't like Kaka, sister is not lacking anything, Kaka is a great person. If Kaka asks why I prefer Varka? I don't know why I chose Varka. But one thing I know, sister, Varka is the sweetest man I have ever known, I love him Sister. Isn't it true love that doesn't need an excuse?" Helsha

"Helsha, I'm better than Varka!" Gibran said in a slightly high voice made Varka immediately turn around when he heard it

"I'm sorry, but I don't like my sister. Want as good as Kaka compared to Varka, I'm still unfortunately the same Varka. I'm the same dear Varka brother, I'm sorry if Kaka was offended by Helsha's words."

"Oh yes, one more brother. Don't be selfish, brother? Helsha knows Kaka is a good person, so please don't ruin the happiness of others huh? Moreover, the happiness of Kaka's own sister, Helsha, excuse me brother"

Helsha immediately walked over to Varka and clasped the man's hand. The two throw smiles at each other and leave the place leaving Gibran alone.

Gibran is still standing there, is this the end? He finally lost? With all the things he always wins why can't he win? What is less than him?

"Why should Varka meet you Sha first, why not me" Gibran murmured.

The matter of his feelings towards Helsha was completely pure and sincere. There was not a speck of noda in his Feelings for Helsha, but why was it that his Feelings were unrequited?

____

"Don't you come by first?" Ask Helsha

"That's right, tell me you're sorry you didn't stop by. I'll play here again tomorrow"

"Jaudah gapapa, you be careful to go home. Don't get emotional if you see Gibran"

"Yes, thank you also nganter I bought favorite food papah. I'm guessing papah will accept?"

"It must have been Varka. Helsha sure"

"Hopefully yes, yes, I will go home first. You go in and go straight to bed rest, thanks for that yes Sha"

"Yes, equally. Beware Varka"

"Yes"

___

Gibran walked into his house, he still did not understand the incident at the school. It felt like there was something inside her that was so sick, the rejection from Helsha was the first thing in her life. It hurt so bad, did Varka feel this way? Is this a little bit of a reply for him?

"Why are you, brother?" Clara asked as she saw Gibran walking limply toward her

"Mama It's Bad" Gibran said after sitting next to Clara

Clara gently rubbed Gibran's head, she did not know what bad happened to her favorite child.

"Why baby? You why? What's that sick?"

"Mom, Gibran likes Helsha. Is that wrong, huh?" Ask Gibran

"Helsha's? Temen Varka?"

Gibran nodded his head

"Well, don't get it wrong, dear dong"

"Mama, Gibran less especially anyway? What is less than Gibran?"

"Without a baby, you're the perfect kid for Mama"

"But Helsha doesn't like Gibran, he likes Varka. He's repelling gibran mah, it hurts so bad..." Lirih Gibran lowered his head

Clara was a little surprised to hear Gibran's words, so her favorite child was sad to be rejected by Helsha on the grounds of preferring Varka? It must have been Varka who had instigated Helsha thought Clara

"Yes, don't be sad anymore, later you talk to Varka to want to relain Helsha for you" said Clara

"Loh Kaka why? How moody is that?" Said Juna who just came out of the room

"This is because of the useless child, because he Gibran was denied love" said Clara

"Varka?" Ask Juna

"Yes, he could make his brother sad like Jun" said Clara

"So this is all Varka's fault?" Ask Juna back

"Well, I'm sure he must have talked about Gibran and Helsha"

Juna let out a long sigh then looked at Clara.

"Udah deh Clara, pretty bad-minded kept on about Varka. The boy is not as bad as you think, he is a good boy" said Juna fed up with everything

He was sick of always being a slave of Clara, because Clara also he could not show her affection.

"Why do you think he's Jun? It's all your fault too!! You're the one who made me care about that kid" Clara snapped

"If we have to learn Nerima she is, wherever she is your son Clara. Our flesh blood, until when we want to be like this" Juna persuaded

"But only you want him to be born, from the beginning I always refuse to be born Jun. Now look at Gibran so suffer like this!! He's completely useless and he's ruined my Carrier"

Without them all realizing behind the wall, there was a child who heard all the words with a heart so sick. It felt like his world was destroyed as it was destroyed.

"I told you from the beginning, Jun, Varka shouldn't have been born!! That kid shouldn't exist!!" Clara

"I know, it's my fault that you made him... Lt's.."

Juna's words came to a halt when he saw Varka walking towards them with a smile on his face. Gibran who was there was also surprised to see the presence of Varka, did his sister hear all the things spoken by her parents? While Clara just looked lazily towards Varka.

Varka chuckled in front of Juna and Clara, it was so painful to hear the words coming out of their mouths earlier.

"Hahaha.. it turns out that Varka has been a unwanted child huh? You always treat Varka differently. Varka thought, all this time you guys are different I'm the same brother Gibran just because I'm not as cool and not as good as big brother. Is the real reason for this? Because you don't want any more kids?" Ask Varka

"Ma Pa if you didn't want to have another child, why did you even have me? Why don't you let me down? Why!!!" continued Varka

"Varka, what the hell do you mean? It's unclear!" Clara

"Yes Varka, Lo why the hell?" Gibran

"Varka why are you talking?" Ask Juna

The three people were both trying to cover up what they had said earlier, they did not seem to want to know if actually Varka heard that. How shiny.

"Sorry Tadi Varka was accidentally horrified by the talk of my mother and father. Mama's just like papa's that hate is the same Varka? Mama also had to be bornin Varka? Sorry Ma if Varka has been a burden to mama. Sorry also because Varka had to be born in this family, Mama's son is equally papa should ka Gibran only right? Varka should not be present and destroy your happiness, sorry ma. If only Varka could choose, maybe Varka will also refuse to be born from the womb of the mother" said Varka.

"Varka is not so, you misunderstand me son" said Juna trying to explain

"Papa, there's no misunderstanding here, it's all clear to Varka. Mamah said that if Varka was not born, Varka should not be here. Ah it hurts so much" said Varka

"Vark..." Gibran said he would also explain

"It turns out this is what it feels like to be a child who was never wanted. If you do not like the presence of Varka gapapa, then Varka will just go from this house. Gapapa Mamah removed the name Varka from this family, Varka gapapa kok Mah"

"Varka don't tell me that, son..." Juna

But Varka just smiled at Juna and then looked at Clara who had even been silent since.

"Mama know? Actually, Varka just wants to hang around mommy like mama swooping in Gibran. Mama always said the same brother Gibran, right if the boy must be strong, can not cry, right mah? Now Varka will do all the mama words. Relax mah, Varka will be a strong and not crybaby child really"

Varka walked closer to Clara and stood before the woman. Varka smiled and looked at the old face that she had always missed.

"Mama thank you for being born in Varka even though you actually do not want to be born in me. I still want to thank you for being so happy and raising me. Sorry yes if all this time Varka can only be a burden for mama, emang maybe there should be no varka"

"Ma, Varka dear Banget same Mama sorry if all this time Varka naughty and can never be proud of mama. Mama's healthy here yeah don't get sick"

Varka sighed then walked up to Juna who was now looking at her with a regretful look

"Papa, this is Varka's guitar backin yes the same Varka buyin papa's favorite food eaten huh Pah."

"Vark... Don't think it's this kid"

"Papa if I can be honest Varka is very dear to me but very dear papa does not love Varka. Papa, shouldn't Varka be here? Sorry, Pa. But whatever it is varka still love papah really and thank you because papa already gave a good name to Varka"

"Well you know what? If ever Varka always wanted to be a boy hero papah. Papa always told brother Gibran that ka Gibran is his great son papa, Can't Pa Varka ask papa to say like that Varka? But I can't, can I?" Varka said looking at Juna who was just speechless

Varka stepped her foot away from them all.

"Varka said yes Ma, Pa, Brother. Maybe Varka's house isn't here. Papa thanks because lately has been good with varka, for mama thanks for giving life to Varka. Relax, Varka won't bother you anymore Kok, Varka said goodbye"

After saying all that Varka walked out of the house without even turning her head, her determination was already unanimous to leave her house. No one wanted her presence here, they all did not want Varka to attend. It was painful, sick once when it turned out that there was never a single person who expected the presence of Varka.

Varka had not yet opened the gate of his hand held back by Gibran.

"Varka, where are you going?" Ask Gibran

"Gue wants to go away from my sister's house, I shouldn't have been born"

"Varka please, Mama must be just a lot more thoughts aja eatnya say like that. Come on in" take Gibran

"Common brother, Udah anyway Kaka should take care of mamah papah. They love Lo sister so I hope you don't want them to"

"Vark... Don't be a little kid"

"It hurts like a big brother, Lo may not know what it feels like but I hope Lo will not fathom this, I've had enough of the pain like gini. Take it easy, brother, I will not bother Lo again, I will really go from your life"

"Varka I know Lo feels really sick, but Please if Lo cape don't think so. You should have just rested Varka" Gibran said

"Break a break, brother? Yes, I will rest if that's what you want. I take care of Mama Mama Papah" said Varka then completely left the house.

Every child must have their own pain, but the most painful pain is the fact that their presence is never expected by both parents. Then whose fault did this happen? A child never asks to be born. Sometimes the people who hurt us are the people closest to us.

Varka himself was just a child who wanted to be considered to exist, his presence acknowledged, everything about him known. But the truth is that it can be so painful. Which child does not feel pain when he knows if he has never desired his presence.