Love, Life, and Jennifer
It's Okay!

I drove my motorcycle with a raging mind. What the hell is going on? Why should we go to Indonesia? What's in Indonesia? Is dad officially retired? But that's impossible! Papa will retire later this year! Or maybe...

I immediately parked my motorcycle in my front yard. Papa's car is already there. As soon as possible I set foot, so that I could see my father as soon as possible to ask what really happened.

When I opened my door, I could see papa's frustrated face, which was being pacified by my mother.

"Ma, uh..." I said then to sit next to Papa, and looked at his face full of question marks. Papa looked at me.

"There are no more flights to Indonesia, for today..." Papa's face looks very sad

"Already, pa... There's still tomorrow! We'll book tickets for the first flight." Mama seemed to calm papa who looked very bad.

"Ma, what the hell is going on, actually?" I said, who is currently very worried about papa. Papa suddenly grasped both of my hands, and looked at my face deeply

"Jennys... Grandma's critical again." Papa shed tears... My body went limp for a moment...

Grannies... My only reason to come home to Indonesia is every summer vacation. The only reason why I am always excited to return to my homeland... And the only reason why I want to continue my studies...

"Who takes care of Grandma now?" My tears just flowed, when I asked my mom and dad. Mama came up to me, and tried to calm me down, as well as papa.

"There is mbo' Minah. Aunty Vera, Sam om, Clara has also left for Jakarta." Mama's words were soothing.

I calmed down a little to hear Mom's explanation.

"You are now sorting out there, take the important thing, end it's rest. Tomorrow we leave at 4 a.m., you know." Mama said as she gently stroked my hair. I nodded faintly.

...****************...

 I immediately lay my body on the bed, shortly after packing the needs that I will bring to Indonesia later. I remember being with the only grandmother I had in this world. Yes, because my mother's grandmother had died long before I was born into this world. My mother's grandfather, too, died when I wasn't even a year old. Grandma was an independent woman who really inspired me, to be a tough woman like her! Grandma is a woman with a strong, yet loving personality...

Died dead by her beloved husband, when my father was 10, and Aunt Vera 7, did not necessarily make my grandmother a weak woman! It was Papa and Aunt Vera, who were the reasons for grandmother not to give up on life, and fell into the arms of other men.

"If your husband suddenly left you when your children were little, never think of finding another backbone! Because really, you were the backbone then!"

I still remember the words of the grandmother who was advising Mbo' Minah's son, who had just died her husband.

Grandma loves me so much... And you could say, I'm Grandma's favorite granddaughter. I spent my childhood at my grandmother's house, before my father was transferred to China, and required me to continue elementary school in China.

My grandmother took care of me at the time. He didn't let anyone, even my father, or my mother take care of me. That's why, I started getting close to my mom and dad when we moved to China.

I still remember clearly how much my grandmother cried hysterically, driving me away at the airport...

"Jenny, don't go long, baby..."

My tears come back, each time I remember that moment...

And two years ago, when I came back to Indonesia, after getting my S1 title

"Is there hope, Doc?" Papa asked expectantly to the doctor who had just checked on Grandma

"The complications are severe enough, sir. It all depends on God, and the spirit of Lie's own mother." The doctor explained, and papa looked resigned.

My grandmother had a severe complication. And it is worsened by the declining kidney function, because it must continue to take drugs.

Before I came back to America, my grandmother told me

"Jennys... Grandma yes, it will be very sad, jiggled Jenny wear bridal clothes like barbie who was the grandmother of the gift to Jenny." Grandma said as she gently stroked my hair. I, who was asleep on his lap, immediately got up and sat down, then looked at his astonished face

"Grandma what the hell! Jenny had her 23rd birthday last week! Don't want to marry young, grandma..." Whine to grandma. Grandma laughed at my behavior

"Grandmother has chosen a candidate for Jenny! Similar to the Korean oppa that Jenny likes, you know! That's the movie we saw." Grandma said with a smile teasing me, I immediately hugged grandma

"Mom, that oppa, can't possibly want to be like Jenny..." I said still hugging Grandma, grandma suddenly took off her arms

"Eeehhh! Says who! Grandma's granddaughter is beautiful! Like a Korean star!" Grandma smiled excitedly, and I hugged Grandma again

"Grandma want to mate me with Song Joongki?" My candle to grandma

"It's just the return, no papa, is it?" Grandma's heart that was still in my arms, I immediately took off my grandmother's embrace, and we laughed out loud.

"Grandmother is very sure oppa this one." Grandma's words removed the smile on my lips

"I mean grandma?" I said as I looked at Grandma's face. Grandma looked at me, then held my cheek, and stroked it gently

"Promise with grandma, yeah... You want to marry the same oppa grandma's choice..." Grandma shed tears, saying this, and made me nod faintly.

Ahhh, what time is it? I immediately grabbed the phone I put right next to me.

'18. 03'

There were so many messages on my phone, I didn't even notice it, because it dissolved my memories of my grandmother.

I opened one by one the incoming messages on my phone.

The top message, or arguably the last message, is from Mark.

Me: Hi, Mark! I'm leaving for Indonesia tomorrow. My grandmother is critical. Pray that everything will be okay, yes... Give my regards to everyone

Next, my best friend, Shierly

Shierly: my dear, what happened? We ended up canceling our plans, because you couldn't join! By the way, how are you doing?

Me: Hi, baby! My situation is not very good. I'm leaving for Indonesia tomorrow. My grandmother is critical. Pray that everything will be okay, yes... As for your messy plans, I'm really very sorry. I'm sorry, yeah...

Then, from my girlfriend, Mike!

Mike : baby...

Mike: why not answer my message?

Mike: what's going on?

Mike: what's going on? How are you doing?

Me: Hey, handsome! I'm not doing well... My grandmother is in critical condition. And tomorrow I have to go to Indonesia. Pray that everything will be okay, yes... And sorry for messing up your plans. I loved you

And last, or so to speak, this is the earliest message, Rob

Rob: Jenny, I hope everything is okay... Take care. May you survive until the destination, do not forget to let me know if you have arrived in Indonesia. Loved you.

I didn't answer Rob's message. I smiled at the message from him. How much he can really understand me. And as I was about to reply to Mike's message, I heard a conversation between mom and dad

"Mommy had a message to papa about Jen's matchmaking with Ji Hyo's son." Papa's voice sounded frustrated

"But Jen is young, pa... Jen has not finished college, it's mommy himself who asked Jen to continue his lecture." My mother heard a protest

"That's the one who confused papa! Mommy asked Jen to marry Young Joon soon!"

I looked up at Papa's words earlier. Unintentionally, I dropped my phone right over my face

"Aawwww!" I grimaced in pain.

Did I not hear wrong, earlier? A wedding? Me? Young Joon's? That name is no stranger to me. Hearing his name alone, made my heart beat fast... Young Joon's... Park Young Joon's... Her...

The door to my room suddenly opened, Mama! Yeah! She never knocked on the door every time she came into my room.

"Jen, eat first, yuk!" Mama said, still holding the doorknob.

"Yes..." My heart, then immediately get up from my bed.

...****************...

 This dinner, it feels different from the usual dinner. Something is running in my heart. There are a lot of questions in my mind about the conversation between mom and dad, about marriage.

Papa opened the conversation.

"Jen, someone's gonna tell Jenny." Papa looked at my face seriously, and it was enough to break my daydream.

"Eh?" I'm a little clumsy, staring at papa.

"Jen, about grandma..." Papa hesitantly continued his words, then mom held papa's hand. "Jen, before grandma is critical, grandma is sending a message to papa." Papa's face was shady, yet firm. Mama is holding my hand. I looked at my mother's hand, which was now holding mine.

"What is the origin of the message, pa?" I stammered a little. Papa took a deep breath, before answering my question.

"Grandma wants you to get married soon." My body sagged for a moment, hearing directly the words that I had only heard faintly in the room earlier. My mom rubbed my shoulder. Mama realized, I can't digest papa's words just now. And me? I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I just went on with my dinner, which now tastes somehow.

"It seems like our return to Indonesia tomorrow, also for your wedding, son!"

"Uhuk...!!! Uhuuk!!! Uuhhuuukkk.. Uhuuk!!"!Papa's words this time, really surprised me, to make me cough, when sipping water. Mama swiftly poured the water back into my glass, and gave the glass to me, patting me gently on my back.

"Pa, we can talk about this later, look, Jen..."

"Young Joon has left for Indonesia, and maybe, tomorrow his parents will also follow Young Joon!" Papa interrupted my mother's words firmly. I looked at my face with teary eyes.

"Pa..." I'm shriveled

"Jen, if Jenny doesn't want to marry Young Joon, papa can say this is fine with grandma." Papa's voice trembled a little. Papa clasped my hand, and so did my mother. The two of them were looking at me with pity. My mind is raging now.

I don't know... I don't want to rebel. Not at all! My heart is not at all excited to say no! It's different from when you wanted me to go to college in Sidney with Clara! My heart was so hard to refuse that! I can finally say 'no!' at that moment. But now... My heart doesn't do that anymore... It's just a little bit of pain, whether it's pain of what, obviously...

"Jen, you don't have to... "

"OK..." It just came out of my mouth

"You mean... "

"Despite our return this time for my wedding, it's ok." Say steady. Mama smothered her mouth with her hands, not believing what I just said. Papa too. Papa was silent, looking like he was at a loss for words.

"I-I'm done. I'll go in first, yeah... We leave early tomorrow." My words then passed, leaving my parents, who still did not believe, for what I had said.