Love, Life, and Jennifer
Who are You?!

You know, sometimes I don't understand Young Joon's head. Sometimes he looks stupid, but sometimes he looks annoying! Even when he decides where we'll stay.

"Go away... I really understand how you feel. It's not easy for you, nor for me." He looked so excited, making me look at his face.

You know, after 6 months of our marriage, I started thinking about my husband.

Who her? What kind of person is he? Does she have a boyfriend?

Yeah... Although she was actually my first love, for some reason, it all felt foreign when we first met again after 15 years of separation.

But last night's incident...

"Heeeyy, why look at me like that! Don't tell me you started ja..."

"Joon, may I ask you a question?" I had never been this polite to him, to the point of astonishing him

"Heeeyy, what's wrong with you? Did you eat wrong? Ahhhh... Don't-jang..."

"Don't you have a lover?" I looked at his face deep.

Young Joon was silent, then smiled

"Of course I have.." she smiled kindly

"Did she know you were married?" Search me, and he nodded

"Then? What happened to him?" I'm getting curious.

Young Joon did not answer. He seemed to think, then took a deep breath, then slammed into it before replying

"Initially, this must have been very painful for her. He weeps daily, hates me, swears at my death, but I believe he will come back to me." He said confidently, then opened the refrigerator door and picked up an apple

"Issshhh, how can you be so self-assured? Did he ever call you again after this wedding?" My earshot

"Yes, he's been getting nice to me lately."

I don't know, hearing her words earlier, made me feel a little uncomfortable

"Have you met him?" My investigation

"Of course!" His smile this time, made me even more uncomfortable

"When?" My voice is a bit high

"Every day, why?" He asked in surprise, then bit the apple he had been holding

"In this house?!" For God's sake, it was more than uncomfortable, and he nodded casually as he chewed an apple

"Did he see our wedding photos?" I asked while smiling silly

"of course! It's easy to see!"

She looked delighted, pointing at our wedding photo with her eyes. It makes me boil!

"You want to know, is he jealous or not? Yeah..." His words teased me

"Ohahhhhh!!! Don't talk anymore, please!" I said closing my ears

"What's wrong with you? Are you..."

"Listen, Mike might have become a mushroom by now for waiting for me. While I'm here to listen to your unimportant joke!" I passed by leaving that fucking asshole.

I keep swearing at them! Even when opening the car door

"Basically women are not! Who does he think he is! How dare he come to the house of a man who already has a wife! Haaahhh, even she's writhing our wedding photos! But still shameless comes every day of misfortune..."

"My girl is a good woman."

Siaall!!! Young Joon heard my swearing from the balcony of our house, making me misbehave

"She's the prettiest girl I've ever met in this hemisphere."

I'm really sick of hearing all these stories about that damn girl. And, heyyy! I cursed using Indonesian, earlier! Does he understand? He only lived in Indonesia for 6 months

"I understand what you were talking about!"

What!!! Joon speaks Indonesian?!!

"Fuck you, if she's the prettiest woman, why don't you marry her! Why did you marry the same...!!!" I yelled at him from down here, and he interrupted immediately

"She won't, but someday, she will..."

Then it left me!

Everything that came out of his mouth just now, completely shook my heart...

I don't know which one... It keeps me from concentrating when driving. And a few times the driver behind me was warning me with a horn over and over again when the traffic light was green, but I hadn't done my car yet.

**************************

In class, I re-thought the events during our marriage, and some words that I said in Indonesian, but he still answered in English

"Why don't you just die anyway, so this matchmaking dies." That's the sentence I said when we were in Lombok, when we were going to sleep

"Ah, okay! I sleep on the couch, and you sleep in bed, I understand you're not ready yet." He answered, then walked to the sofa

"Sleep... I'm so tired today." Relaxed

"Not to think of anything weird, yeah! You think I want to..."

"Csssttt... Don't be noisy, !"

And I cried... Last night lamenting my fate... Married my first love that I had buried in. And...

"Itahhhhh...." I was banging on the campus cafeteria table as I recalled the time I said

"Dear, gini... I've never been in love, aahh... Like it, yeah okay, but that was it... So dulauu! My God, that was before I met Mike! Joon, my love right now, Mike. Not you anymore. You're just the past..." I said sobbing, I thought Joon was asleep, but he woke up and answered

"You want to buy a puppy, and give him Mike's name? Aw, okay. Tomorrow we're gonna find" and then go back to lying down, and I throw it with a pillow, and then come up to him

"Aawwww." Young Joon groaned, then I sat down where he lay

"Then, what? Wolf boy?" He relaxed and closed his eyes again

"Second, Mike is my girlfriend!" I stressed, and this woke him up

"I'm sorry?" He made sure he didn't hear wrong

"Ohhhhhhh...!!!" I went back to whining, and made Mike scold me, out of worry

"What's wrong with you, Jen?" Mike was really worried

"I don't understand my position right now, Mike! It's complicated! It's..." Mike looked at me in wonder, because I whined in Indonesian

"You've only been in Indonesia for 7 months, how soon have you forgotten English?" Mike looks disappointed. It makes me wrong

"I-i..."

"Once you go, continue eating. I want to hear a story about your husband." Mike sounded very disappointed as he said those words just now

"Hey, what time is it?" I asked Mike

"Can't you see your phone?" Mike asked, then looked at the phone.

"Aaaahh... 13.38." Prattling

I immediately sipped my spoon and hurried over

"I'll be back in a minute, yeah!" I said in a hurry to leave

"Heeeyy, where are you going? Your class will soon begin!" Mike yelled to remind me

"I'll be back in 2 hours." My heart while waving to him

****************************

On the way, I kept thinking about the girl Young Joon told me about.

What does it look like? How's it look? How old? Is she really pretty?

"Aaaarrrggghhh!"

After arriving at our carport, I saw Young Joon's car there, I saw my phone screen, at 14:37! Is this his lunch hour? I don't know!

I got out of my car, and while I was near his car, I stopped for a moment as though Young Joon had just arrived, because the heat from his engine could be felt.

I immediately rushed into the house, and saw Young Joon was contacting someone, aahhh... She looked very happy, and when she realized my presence, she hurriedly ended her call, saying

"Let's call again, yeah... Iloveyou..."

Any more... Looking at me, and then approaching me

"Hey, you're home?" He asked like that, like there is no sin! Without knowing, how much it hurt my heart to hear those words, and I might almost cry at this moment

"Is there a problem?" Young Joon holds both of my shoulders, looking very worried

"What do you think!!!" I let go of my body while yelling at him

"What's wrong with you?" Young Joon held both of my shoulders back

"So did anyone hurt you? Or maybe, your boyfriend..."

"Lu's hurting, you fucking shit!" Then he slammed his whole hand and passed.

"No matter you understand or not the same words I speak, but honestly, you should be able to appreciate the feeling of gw! You shouldn't talk to other people when your wife is in front of you, you son of a bitch!" I walked while continuing to curse holding back the cry.

"Sorry..." I stopped my steps, and suddenly I realized, what I just said!!!

Aarrrghhh!!! What's wrong with me!!! Aaahhh, what if he knows what I just said! Aaarrgghh, I really curse myself! I heard the sound of Young Joon's footsteps walking towards me, I really became misbehaved! And yes, now he was right in front of me, then holding both my shoulders again, and looking me in the face

"...  ⁇ , ⁇ ⁇ (I'm sorry if this really hurt you ... Trust me, there's no one else here)"

He spoke Korean while pointing to his chest and looking me in the eye.

Is he retaliating for me?

Haaahh, that's so funny! He could answer in Indonesian when I cursed him this morning, and now, he really replied to me, and I couldn't answer him

"What do you mean?"

"When I called someone just now. . . ⁇ , ⁇ (Actually I'm not contacting anyone, it's just a diversion, because I know, you're home, and I don't know what to do or say. And when I say, I love you, believe me, I say that to you. Yeah, that's the truth... Loves you so much.)" Young Joon said that with teary eyes, tears dripping down my eyes.

And, heeey... Even though I don't understand Korean, I feel like I'm no stranger to the last sentence he said! Don't-don't....

"Hooahhh!" I shut my mouth in disbelief, my heart was beating so hard...

Oh my... My knees are really weak, my tears are back.

If that's what he says, and what I think it means...

"Do you think he'll be gobsmacked when I say that to him?"

For God's sake, my heart really almost slipped, as he said those words earlier! I thought he said that to me! And...

"Aaaarrrghh!!!!" I screamed, then stomped his feet

"Aawwww!" Young Joon groaned in pain, then took his hand off my shoulder, and grazed his legs which I had just stepped on!

"What do I care!" And then passed away leaving him

"Heeeyy, what are you doing? It hurts so much! I need a doctor! Arghh... I have to be taken to the ER!"

I chuckled at her behavior, and as I opened the door, I asked her

"Have you met your girl?" I asked without looking at him.

A moment of silence, until...

"Had..." She answered him, and I left, feeling really bad.