Love, Life, and Jennifer
Hurts...

Young Joon just arrived...

I could hear clearly the sound of the engine stopping in front of our house, through my room.

While me...

I'm very reluctant to meet him... I don't know...

I'm still thinking about what happened almost two weeks ago...

Yaah... Kimberly Tan's!

That girl's... Not much has changed from his character... What changed was, she was getting prettier, fashionable, charming, and... He drove my husband, who was drunk at the time.

If I recall the events of that day, it feels so stifling!

How Kim, as I called him... I don't know... Since that day, the atmosphere of our home has been very different...

Young Joon who is increasingly focused on his work, and me who is increasingly immersed in feelings of uncertainty.

We just talk, barely even talk at all.

Young Joon almost always leaves, before I wake up from my sleep, and comes home when I'm asleep.

I honestly feel a little tired...

I don't know, tired of what... Obviously, it feels really painful...

Sometimes I think, is it true, said by Arjuna, that I started to fall in love again, to Young Joon?

And I'm jealous of what happened yesterday?

Or is this just my greed, wanting two men at once, filling my days? I don't know!

I immediately grabbed the phone that I always put on the nightstand beside my bed. It was too lazy to open my social media through the laptop, because somehow, at this time I just want to stay lying down, without concentrating anything on my body.

I immediately unlocked the phone screen, and searched for the social media icon, then touched the message icon there.

Arjuna! Yep!

Only he can count on to reduce my current turmoil!

Jenny Lie: June

I was still staring at my phone screen, hoping that Arjuna would return my message immediately.

10 Minutes have passed, Arjuna did not reply to my message!

Maybe he's busy, I don't know! I decided to exit the mailbox, then touch the 'timeline' icon to see my social media friends' posts.

I stared one by one the posts of several of my college friends there, as well as the posts of my best friend and cousin, Clara...

He's still the same as the last few days I've seen him. Beautiful, young, free! I smiled bitterly, comparing my life now, and Clara's smile in the portrait.

Young Joon does set me free in hanging out, but Young Joon keeps reminding me of boundaries. She told me that she didn't like it much if I went to the bar, and yet, heeeyy! Wait up! Isn't that Young Joon, cheating???

She doesn't like it, if I go to a bar, while she?

He came home drunk at the time!

Wasn't... Good Lord! Remembering that incident alone, made my chest become more painful, to make me wake up and lean on the back of my bed. I put my phone right next to my body, then gently massaged my forehead, until my phone shook slightly.

I grabbed my phone, and I saw social media notifications there.

I immediately opened up my social media, and sure enough! Arjuna replied to my message!

Arjuna: Jen, sorry! I took a shower again!

Jenny Lie: shower?

Arjuna: yes, why?

Jenny Lie: now at 9pm in DC, means 9am in Jakarta? You gk work?

Arjuna: I just returned

Jenny Lie: Lu overtime?

Arjuna: yes

Jenny Lie: are you home?

Arjuna: yes

Jenny Lie: any of your wives?

Arjuna: there is, why?

Jenny Lie: ah, okay... Continue tomorrow, jun!

Arjuna: just relax! He was lazy just like me

Jenny Lie: are you fussing about your wife?

Arjuna : gk, anyway...

Jenny Lie: continues?

Arjuna: I also don't understand, Jen... Justjust... How do you say it...

Jenny Lie, by the way!

Arjuna : umm... I feel my wife is jealous!

Jenny Lie: yeah good, donk! That's the sign, your wife is starting to open her heart to you!

Arjuna I wish it was so, Jen... Justjust...

Jenny Lie: just what?

Arjuna: my wife is difficult to guess! So, I want to be confident first...

Jenny Lie : ah ok... Ehhhh!!!

Arjuna: why?

Jenny Lie: don't tell me, your wife is jealous just like me, yes!!!!!!!!

Arjuna: yes aampuun!!! No, jen!!! You calm down!!!

Jenny Lie: trus???

Arjuna didn't reply to my message! Did he lie to me?

Arjuna: I ran out noisily, until the same brawl as my office friends

Jenny Lie: oh my God!!! Keep going???

Arjuna: yes, I went home with my friend, who is also my wife's friend first

Jenny Lie: well, continues?

Arjuna: he likes me the same, and my wife knows! And worse yet, this friend of mine once talked to my wife, klu wife I tuh, did not take me, from her!

Jenny Lie: whoaattttt!!!!!!

Arjuna: for god's sake!!! Gw gapernah there is a relationship what² is the same this girl!

Jenny Lie: ah, okay! Continues to?

Arjuna: since then, we have become like the Cold War! By the way, even in these 3 days, we have not talked to each other at all...

Hold still... I looked back at our previous conversation... Isn't this almost the same as my current situation? Just different versions, however...

Arjuna : Jen, are you still there?

Arjuna's new message, breaking my daydream

Jenny Lie : ah, yes jun!

Arjuna: you why, jen?

Jenny Lie : ah that... Jun...

Arjuna: why, jen?

Arjuna: what happened?

Jenny Lie: you fuss with your friend

Arjuna: a week ago, why?

I went back to thinking, if the Arjuna incident was a week ago, it would have been a week after...

Arjuna : jen's... You still there? Any problem?

Again Arjuna's message broke my daydream

Jenny Lie : ah, gk ko' jun

Arjuna: you again have a problem, huh?

Jenny Lie : ah, gk ko'... Trus, how? You clear it to your wife, gk?

Arjuna: he always avoids, every time I want to explain

I'm back pensive... Didn't I also always avoid conversations about the incident, when Young Joon was about to explain?

Arjuna : jen? Lu why the hell!

Jenny Lie - jun...

Arjuna: yes, what is it? You're weird today!

Jenny Lie - jun... We're rich, we have the same problem... Only, the version and position are different

Arjuna: what do you mean?

Jenny Lie: version gw, men I came home in a state of heavy drunk, trus delivered the same girl who used to like bgt same dy...

Arjuna: continues?

Jenny Lie: I always avoid, every time she wants to explain the incident

Arjuna: why?

Jenny Lie: every time you remember that incident, it hurt!

Arjuna: don't tell me, are you jealous?

I was stunned for a moment, seeing Arjuna's reply... And back to remembering the incident where I saw Young Joon, looking very familiar with his classmates in the cafeteria, when we were in school...

It hurts, and it's so hot! Exactly the same as what I feel right now, even now, it hurts even more!

Arjuna : jen?

Jenny Lie: yes

Arjuna: yes what?

Jenny Lie - jun

Arjuna: yes, Jenny Lie???

It's a little doubtful to express this, but... I guess I can't hold it anymore! Stupid fuck! After all, I will just declare it to Arjuna... And Arjuna doesn't know who Park Young Joon is!

Arjuna : Jenny???

Jenny Lie: jun, I lost...

Arjuna: how did you lose?

As hard as I can beat my ego to type this sentence, however... Stupid fuck!

Jenny Lie: I fell in love with Park Young Joon

"YEEEEAAAHHHH!!!!"

I was really surprised to hear Young Joon's scream, so accidentally, my phone fell on my chest!

I immediately got up from the top of my bed, and immediately rushed up to him.

"HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! FINALLYAAAAA!!!"

This time his voice grew louder, and sounded very happy!

It seems, the direction the sound is coming from his study, I am heading there right away! And when I opened the door, I could see clearly, Young Joon jumped up and down like a person who had lost his mind!

And I could see at a glance, his eyes were glazed over!

I was pensive to see his behavior, did Young Joon just win a tender?

Or the...

Young Joon finally noticed my presence, and rushed up to me, then hugged me tightly.

"Thank you..." He then kissed the top of my head.

I don't understand, what's going on right now. Young Joon outlined his embrace, and looked me in the face.

Aye! Her eyes sparkled... He's so happy! It can be seen clearly...

"I'm going to express my feelings to my girl..." He said with a big smile.

'DEEGGGGGHHHH!!!'

My world stopped hearing those words!

My breath feels tight!

There is incredible joy in my heart...

That sparkling face... How talking... And... Young Joon hugged me...

This time, more tightly...

Yeah... My tears are melting by themselves...

How could? Wh why? Yes tuhaaan... Wasn't...

Young Joon again outlined his embrace, and again looked me in the face.

"Listen, I'll prepare everything tomorrow, and maybe I won't go home, because I'll prepare everything, with my own hands, so... You don't have to wait for me..." Young Joon is really excited to say it, without caring about my tears that seem to not stop...

"Sleep..." He then wiped my tears, then smiled, and I nodded faintly.

I put my feet up with shakes, as if without energy...

It's sore, crumbling, crumbling, and...

Yes tuhaannn... Didn't I just express my feelings towards Young Joon???

Wasn't...

Even to open the door to my room, I had no energy!

I'm really cursing myself right now!

I came back crying..

Even this time, it sounded like a stifled scream, until finally, the door managed to open...

I immediately closed the door, when I was inside, and walked towards the bed. Yeah... I was crying so much... I mourn my love story...

I lost before I fought... Isn't that funny?

At 3 in the morning, and I haven't slept yet. But at least, my tears are no longer dripping. I thought about what I was going to do today.

I don't know why, I put my foot in the closet and opened it...

I don't know what I'm going to do, my hands just move, as if everything has been controlled automatically by my brain.

I feel like I have lost control of myself! Everyone seems to be doing what they think is right!

From starting to open the drawer that contains important files, to...

I grabbed the wedding file, and looked at him pushyly...

My heart says, Today is the time...