Love, Life, and Jennifer
Must Go On Show!
Three days after Clarence's departure, my family and I gathered at Clarence's parents' house, the house where my aunt took me.
Yeah! The mansion was the residence of Clarence's parents!
As I recall, Clarence's parents were rarely at home, no wonder Clarence always felt lonely.
They are all still mourning the passing of his only son, especially his mother.
"I'm so sorry, even for the rest of her life, I'm not by her side..." Clarence's mother sobbed in the arms of her husband who tried to look tough.
"That's it... It's all happened..." Said Clarence's father, holding back tears.
The pain is so overwhelming in this house. Even Matthew, who Clarence told me was the most annoying guy, looked the most moody, since the day of the funeral.
Yeah... That's life!
You'll never know what's really going on with your life...
You never even know what's waiting for you, out there...
One thing is certain, after what has happened, whether it is good or bad... Life must go on...
*****************
After 8 days in America, today I finally returned to Germany.
Clarence's family, especially Margaret's aunt, were too heavy to let go...
"Elle, honey... Not because Clarence is gone, you don't want to visit me anymore..." Aunt sniffled.
"Yes, bi... I promise, I'll visit me, in my spare time." I said relax.
"Promise?"
I nodded, smiled and hugged him...
Back to Germany...
Yeah, there's something different now...
There will be no handsome boy at any time, I can always count on to let go of all my pain...
Yeah!
Now I'm really going to endure it all myself...
Let it be, I can't always involve other people, in my every problem, can I?
At 8 p.m., I had my feet back in Bremen, Germany...
My cut is still two days away, Oh yeah! Aoyama called me several times, and I answered her call once.
He asked me about my situation, and it seemed like he had found out about the reason I was taking my leave, even though he didn't know exactly where I was going.
Aoyama simply said, that he wishes the best, he also said...
"Take good care of yourself, and go home in the same state you were when you came to this land..."
Then Young Joon...
I almost gave up, always waiting for him...
Let it be, we no longer have any relationship.
Just a 'dating', it doesn't mean anything...
After touring the city for 2 hours, I finally decided to return to the apartment...
I feel pretty tired today...
Tired, sad, and broken...
It's enough to crush my whole body!
As soon as I arrived at the apartment lobby, about to walk towards the elevator, my world seemed to stop looking at the figure who was currently sitting on the sofa lobby, flabbergasted at me while smiling happily...
The sparkle of happiness was so visible on his face... He immediately stood up, then walked over to me, who was currently still frozen...
"I-i..."
Immediately I regained my senses, and immediately walked towards the elevator, which happened to be the door that had opened, because there was someone who had just entered there.
The man, without me asking, immediately followed me from behind.
Silence, even until I open the door of my apartment unit!
In addition to the feelings I felt before, now the other feelings, also increased...
Angry, upset, happy, even longing that seems to have been released, after many months!
Park Young Joon's!
Now he has entered my apartment with me!
I stopped my steps, in a position to back him.
There is a stir in my heart right now, causing a sensation that even I myself cannot understand!
I heard her footsteps coming towards me, and... He hugged me from behind, then peeked at the top of my head...
"How are you doing? I miss you so much, I almost die..." He said, then tightened his hold.
I took a deep breath while closed, bracing myself, in order to be able to take off his embrace!
Yep! I immediately took off her arms, then turned towards her, and...
'YRAAAKAAKKKKKK!!!!'
"Darling..." He said as he touched his cheek.
I saw the corner of his lip hurt, but I was reluctant to care about it, and resumed my attack on it!
I hit his upper body, even kicked his leg!
Young Joon remained silent, as if understanding my feelings...
I even continued to beat him, until my strength was completely exhausted, even I almost fell down, if only Young Joon did not reach my body...
"Happy?" Speak with a shady look
"Do it again, if you still want to..." He said as he put his body back to attack me.
I looked at him...
I don't know what I'm feeling right now, it's just...
I hugged him right away...
Close-fitting... Real tight... Very reluctant to take it off...
Half screaming I was crying in his arms...
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, my dear..." He then kissed the top of my head...
I immediately outlined my embrace, as soon as I felt I had finished spilling all my longing there...
Still, I still sob...
Young Joon wiped the rest of the tears off my eyes.
"I'm sorry..." He said, lifting my chin.
I smiled cynically at him.
"What are you coming for?" Sinisku.
"I can't hold it anymore..." Lirih.
I sighed harshly, then turned away from her, but Young Joon swiftly grabbed my hand, making me look back at her face.
"I beg you, forgive me..."
"I thought I'd give you space, so you wouldn't feel claustrophobic, but it turns out... I'm the one who feels claustrophobic here..." He said softly, with teary eyes.
So, all this time he hasn't contacted me, is to give me space, so as not to feel claustrophobic?
So, all this time he has misunderstood my words, who wants space so as not to feel claustrophobic?
Why is he so stupid in understanding my words?!
Not being around him, it was a void for me!
Plus, no communication at all for months like this!
I looked at him...
Mournful... Sure was!
I took a rough breath, then kissed her lips...
Young Joon didn't immediately welcome my kiss, because he might still be in disbelief because of my previous attitude!
However, a few seconds later...
He's the one who's now 'leading' this kiss!
As always...
We seem to ignore our limits, which are currently open again husband and wife...
I opened one by one the buttons of his shirt, while continuing to kiss, as well as Young Joon...
Young Joon even lifted my body, until I wrapped my legs around his waist, without taking off our kisses!
Yeah... This hot kiss ends in an intimate relationship, which occurs repeatedly...
Because of Young Joon, it's never enough to do that, if only once!
Our struggle always ends with, Young Joon hugging me from behind...
"What does this tattoo mean?" He spoke softly, behind my ears.
Strange, if he had just asked that at this time, recalling... When we did it at my parents' house, this tattoo was already there!
I turned towards him...
"You know, what picture, that?" I said.
"Hmmm... That's a dandelion flower that's falling out..." He said while rubbing my cheek.
"Yeah... You're right..." I said
"Then, what does it mean? And why are you making it that big?"
I smiled, instead of answering her question...
"I described it as my life at the time... Beautiful, and beautiful... But fragile!" I then turned towards the previous direction.
Young Joon hugged me... Tighter than ever...
"I'm sorry... Come back to me, my love..."
Silent... Until we both fell asleep...