Love That Starts With Hate
His confession

Eyang Kangkung is 71 years old while Eyang Putri is 68 years old. In their twilight years spent in Banana City –julukan Banyuwangi, they live a simple and happy life. It is in this house that my father was born and grew up to have a family. We started living in Surabaya after the father who was once a civil servant was transferred to the first level government office, then Sekar was born. But, once in a while we definitely visit here and of course visiting grandparents becomes a pleasant memory for me and Sekar, as well as other cousins. When the holiday arrives every year, this house will be crowded because the father has six more siblings who live scattered throughout Java.

In the old building that survived so far thanks to the renovation, they lived together It's been a long time since I've met and longed to hug them.

The car stopped in front of a wooden fence that was painted white and seemed to be new. The home page is quite spacious and planted with various ornamental plants in polybags or pots that are neatly arranged. Yes, grandma is famous for having cold hands, so whatever she grows will grow and she takes care of it with great pain. I still remember when I was a child, I often accompanied him to water the plants in the afternoon. He was still strong and stood firm, last when I came, he was already getting sickly, and now, his thin little body began to bend. But his vision was still good and his memory was still strong.

“Sabina ?” he mentioned my name when I approached him as he greeted the guests who had entered his yard.

I grabbed her hand and kissed her and hugged her. “I miss Eyang..," I whispered in his ear and he returned my embrace with the same longing.

“Kowe saka?”[1], ask the Princess to me. With a trembling voice and a slow tone of speech, and a face full of wrinkles as evidence of the hard and struggle of his life. "Wis ora press kene? Eyang makanaken wis lali yo sama eyang”[2]

I shake my head, how could I forget? All this time, I've only had a heavy heart to go home. Because of fear, because they do not want to be sad for what happened to me.

“Sorry to me, Eyang..," I said, letting go of my arms with a little relief. Until I forgot that Harrish was already standing behind us.

“Iki bojomu yo?[3]" asked the Princess as her sharp eyes found Harrish. "Son Harrish anyway?”

Harrish nodded with a smile. Then grab Grandma's hand and..had experienced it? I should have been moved, but I still can't believe Harrish can behave the same way she used to. Oh my…

Then Eyang Kangkung came. Wearing a sarong and wearing boots. Looks like he just came back from the garden, because his clothes were soiled by the ground. “Sabina ?” he rebuked me and I regretted it followed by Harrish who had not said anything. Eyang Kangkung really looked at me closely, as if he did not believe that the one standing in front of him was me –his grandson. Five years, it seems like a long time for them but they never forget, they have a granddaughter named Sabina.

The princess invited us into the house.  Sekar also helped him prepare drinks in the kitchen when Eyang Kangkung and Harrish began chatting in the palanta next to the terrace. There the air is cooler and cooler because it is under the shade of trees accompanied by the sound of chicks foraging for food. But, I started to worry, Harrish would not be able to deal with that situation if only Eyang Kangkung asked about us. I don't think Harrish will get used to it either.

As soon as I put together the luggage inside the room, I went straight out. At that time Sekar and Eyang Putri had been sitting in the palanta chatting with Harrish. Surprisingly they laughed at each other, as well as Harrish – looks very familiar.

“Sabina it has been a long time ndak come here.His mother said busy working in Jakarta. Wis thought I could not remember the same old man yo.", said Eyang Kangkung. "Sabina used to be the most diligent here.”.

Sekar turned his head towards me while smiling –saying that all is well. They do not suspect that Harrish who is now chatting with them is no longer the Harrish who was –he is not my husband anymore.

***

The night before, after the Adhan, the village became more deserted. Usually, there will be sounds of insects and frogs that are mutually unpretentious because behind the house there is a river. Princess said it was rainy season. Yes, when the sun will set, it is already visible because it is covered in cloudiness. And the night, will be colder with a creepy rumble. This wooden house also made us have to talk loudly in order to hear each other.

A glass of black coffee accompanied Eyang Kangkung in front of the radio era was deliberately turned off because the signal was bad. Instead he was accompanied by Harrish.

Actually, Harrish had to leave this afternoon because his original intention was to just drop off. But, Eyang Putri so wondered why he did not stay. Ah, me and Harrish are confused. But, Eyang Kangkung then insisted that Harrish stay. I can't ban. Let alone telling honestly that we are divorced, because it will be more confusing –Harrish is still around me.

I thought Harrish would refuse, but she happily complied with the invitation of Eyang Kangkung.

I was in the room with Sekar taking all the clothes out of the bag to keep in the closet while we were here.

“Do not think too much, Ma'am," said Sekar, maybe he saw that I was really uncomfortable with the presence of Harrish which makes this holiday unpleasant again. "Oh also we can not tell the truth.kan pity Anyang Putri with Eyang Kangkung, they will think, because Mbak ‘kan beloved grandson.”.

I'm silent. Ever since Harrish showed up at my house, I've been very quiet where Harrish has been a lot of talk. He served my sister and monopolized Mom to talk to him.

“What's the chat first, beautiful grandkids Eyang ?” The Princess was already standing at the door of the room, carrying a tray with a glass filled with warm drinks. "Nih Eyang made wedang ronde, let anget..”.

Me and Me smiled broadly. While stop talking about Harrish to enjoy the wedang ronde. The smell made us remember our childhood.

“Later Sekar slept with Eyang," said Eyang Putri. "There's no way you slept with your mom and her husband, after all?”

And I was both silent.

We haven't thought about it at all. But, now so remember that this house only has two rooms. One is used by Eyang and the other is usually empty for guests. If Sekar and I sleep here together, it means that Harrish will sleep outside –that sounds odd. It seems, if Sekar moved to the place of Eyang Putri, it means that Eyang Kangkung can sleep outside, continued Harrish?

Ow hell!

***

At nine in the night, I was already starting to yawn. After talking with Sekar and Eyang Putri, we felt like sleeping because the two old men had to get up early and go to the fields. Me and Sekar are also tired after a day on the way, what else Harrish.

As soon as Sekar left me feeling unsure, my heart began to uncompromise. In a moment, Harrish will come in here and we…

I closed my eyes tightly, imagining in this little bed... Will we sleep together?

I jumped onto the bed when I heard the sound of the door opening. With my back to the door, I pretended to be asleep so that there would be no confusing conversation later. I closed my eyes tightly while sharpening my hearing, what would Harrish do? How did he deal with such a situation?

He's my boss.

He's my boss.

But, is it true that everything will return to how it was?

Every time he looked at me, I was goosebumps. Every time he heard his words and his way of speaking softened, made me believe that the situation in the office could change. What will it be like?, I started to confuse everything as I felt the side of the bed move.

Oh no! This feeling is nostalgic for me.

Nah!

Nah!

“You've slept ?” Harrish rebuked me, and I was still trying not to budge other than to seek regular breathing even in the moment that maybe my whole body was cooling –not because of the air, but the atmosphere.

Harrish, know yourself a little! You should sleep on the floor!, I said deeply. But, I was very sure, he would not want to sleep on the floor, more recently he started looking at me with that gaze –deep, intense and. Don't you think his memory is back!

I don't know how to deal with it.

“What...we've been like this before ?” harrish asked suddenly, and I opened my eyes for a moment. Why is he asking like that? He certainly knows the answer! But, it made me think of the events we had experienced here!

Oh no!

The side of the bed moves again –the slightest movement will certainly be felt. Because this is only a teak wooden bed that is decades old. There are many memories here –tentunya. Harrish is a man who has a high libido. The fur of my romance was goosebumps again, I knew he was very easily provoked by the atmosphere.

I did not dare to turn back, because I felt it approaching and I tried to refrain from looking asleep. Because it wouldn't be fun making love with a sleeping person.

Suddenly a tickling taste burned my waist.

“You want to pura sleep ya?” harrish's voice surprised me. "You think you can lie to me?”

Harrish tickled all over my body and I died of tears while laughing. "Mas Harrish, ticklish !” my screams. "Guy!”

His fingers continued to wiggle my waist until I was curled up, holding back the amused and laughing while pounding here and there. When he stopped, my eyes met his eyes, before his face drew nearer. Her fingers no longer touched my waist, but her hands started to move to grab my back to hold her while our lips met. Yeah, I've missed a touch like that before. A touch that requires no words to express feelings.

I felt comfortable in the embrace of her two large hands, and never let go of me until I realized that we were reunited in a hot and burning relationship. I heard her sigh in my ear, whispering to ask if I liked her when we were like this, and I answered by tucking her lips.

I was fixated on the soft yellow color of his sweaty skin and rubbed against me every time he moved regularly, and I looked at him in an unusual way –so wanted it to the end. However, the other voices that were heard along with Harrish's quick movements left me a little distracted.

The sound of a crackling wooden bed, as if it wanted to collapse. I began to worry, if this bed is not strong enough to hold us, then the sound of the collapse will make everyone in the house will scatter here.

“Mas..pelan-pelan..," I said with a sharp breath.

“I can't, Bin...," he replied in my ear.

Harrish can't be stopped and I hope that this bed will last. However, when I looked at her face, I no longer cared about the sounds.disrupting Harrish's pleasure, would make our concentration crumble, she said, and I also don't want to miss this by just thinking about something that isn't important.

Oh, I was swept away by the smell that was enveloping my entire body, as she pressed on, hugging me tightly with a loud groan in my ear. Before, he dropped his entire body weight and I tried to take a breath.

I miss the laugh, when we felt equally satisfied.

Yeah, I miss him.

I opened my eyes, as soon as the feeling just disappeared. Consciously, the rain out there rumbled like a storm that would pull the roof of Eyang's house. I nodded, as if I had just had a nightmare. Suddenly, it was not a nightmare…

I could have dreamed about Harrish…

Ah, maybe because of this crackling bed.

I go to the side, Harrish doesn't sleep there! When I looked up at the floor, apparently a tall figure of a straight-bodied man fell asleep just wrapped in a blanket and accompanied by a skinny pillow. I feel a little guilty. But, he himself did not want to go.

I got off the bed to take a closer look out of curiosity.

Is it true that he can sleep well on the floor?, I looked at his sleeping face.

Instantly I realized, that his sleep expression had not changed at all –even if he returned to be a stranger to me.

Harrish, Harrish, if I knew what you were thinking…