Male Charm Storage
Don't force me

I was busy again as usual, taking care of the business that is in and out of the country. In the next few days I even have to fly to the UAE for work.

"Jared, send someone to take care of Gloria while I'm gone, I don't want Richard to bother her" I told Jared. The man nodded slowly.

All this time I was watching Gloria wherever she went, not to spy on her activities, but I was worried about her safety, especially since Richard met me and his accomplices on FGH street at that time, I'm always wary if Gloria travels alone.

Gloria rarely goes out of the house, only occasionally to the salon or shop even not in a long time.

Gloria didn't know about this, because my emissary was watching her by keeping her distance and I hope Gloria never finds out.

I went back to the apartment in the middle of the day. Gloria was amazed by my return this afternoon because I never came home at this hour at work.

"You're home yet?" Gloria glanced at me, apparently he was busy in the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I asked back while watching him pull out a cooker from the oven.

"I made a tart cake," Gloria said with a smile.

"Kue tart? What's for?" many wonder.

"Today is actually my birthday." Gloria chuckled softly.

I swore in my heart, I might not know if today is Gloria's birthday.

I approached her, putting both hands by her slender waist. "You can tell me, I can ask Jared to buy you a birthday cake and you don't have to bother making your own cake like this." I looked at him with a soft look.

"Don't overdo it, Owen! There are more important tasks for Jared to do. Not even buying a birthday cake for me."

"Do you want me to buy it specifically for you?" I raised the next eyebrow, gave him an offer. Gloria laughed even more and then stroked my cheek at a glance. This little treatment made my heart feel even more guilty for not knowing its birthday.

"I'm sorry" I said sincerely.

"Sorry for?"

"Forgot your birthday."

"I don't think I forgot." Gloria silenced her chuckling mouth.

"Yes, I don't know because I never asked. Next time I'll pay more attention to you."

Gloria moved uneasily, clamping down on the softness of my hand that had been on her waist since earlier. He slowly inched away, as if dodging. Wh why? Is there something wrong with my words?

"Why?" I was surprised by the change in attitude that I couldn't guess why.

"Nothing, I want to put a topping on his cake." Gloria refocused on the cake she had placed on the kitchen table.

"Is there something wrong with my words?" ask me to come back from behind. I think Gloria was a little surprised by my treatment because I felt her body slightly startled as I closed in suddenly.

"Nothing," Gloria replied while polishing her cake with liquid chocolate. "Why did you come home early? Not usually." Gloria was heard diverting our conversation.

Well, I won't talk about his change of attitude anymore, I'll tell him about my departure.

"I'm going to the UAE."

"When?"

"Two days left."

"Alright, I'll help you pack," said Gloria softly. I feel his voice tremble. Is he sad about my departure?

"I won't be long, just 5 to 7 days. Once my business is done, I'll be right back."

"Akhn..." Gloria grimaces. Apparently his hand was injured while cutting strawberries.

I looked at his blood-thinning finger, I swiftly carried it to the front of the kitchen sink and washed his finger there using warm water from the faucet.

"I'll treat it," I said calmly, blowing off Gloria's injured finger. "I'll take the plaster first, wait here."

I moved towards the room, took the medicine box to find a plaster covering the wound. I went back and saw Gloria already sitting in the dining room with a lethargic face.

"Glo, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing," replied Gloria with a small smile. I don't know why I feel her smile is so forced.

"Well, if so." I started treating the wound and covered it with plaster.

"Done."

"Thank you, Owen."

"Anged at you? Wh-wh-what for? I don't have the right to be mad at you."

"Your attitude suddenly changed."

Gloria was silent for a moment. "Just how you feel" he replied later.

Gloria stood up, like she was about to rush to avoid me again. However, I immediately pulled his arm.

"I came home fast because I wanted to take you for a walk. I think I've been too busy lately. Before I leave, we'll spend some time together, okay?"

Gloria shakes. "No, I'm home, Owen."

"Why? You feel at home for a long time. I rarely even get notifications about your shopping." I stroked Gloria's hair gently.

Gloria was silent, she looked at me meaningfully, yet I couldn't figure out the meaning of her gaze. Merely, I caught the grief and the great hope contained there.

"Come on, be honest. What are you thinking. Tell me!" pressed him.

"I just don't want to expect too much from you. Accepting all your kind treatment to me will only make it harder for me to forget you later."

Gloria brushed off my hand, then she turned towards our room.

I gasped at Gloria's words, she refused my treatment, refused my gifts, rarely used the facilities I gave her, solely out of fear that it would be hard to forget me one day.

Is the shadow I'm about to leave it starting to enter Gloria's mind, now? I have not yet taken it off, I don't know when.

I know, this attitude of mine suggests there is no position in me to defend it or not. I want to, but I don't know until when I'm going to keep acting like this with him. I was also afraid that I would get bored with him so I wouldn't dare to promise him anything. But, if Gloria's attitude is like this, I just don't want it.

_____

"You really don't want to go with me?" I approached Gloria in the room while carrying a paperbag that I had wanted to give Gloria.

Gloria shakes.

"So you're going to stay away like this to me?"

"Okay, I don't know either."

"Don't do this, please." I've never begged any woman like this. Once again only Gloria could hear my plea like this. I wonder why I am like this to him.

I cupped Gloria's cheeks together, looking at her closely. For whatever reason, I can't leave it now. If later? I don't know...

"I just want to prepare my heart, hopefully when you get back from the UAE, I can act normal again. I'm trying not to use your feelings, just your partner."

I shook my head hard. "I don't want to!" I said firmly.

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you and your whole feeling. I want you to use your feelings when you're with me. Like all this time when we were together."

Gloria looked at me with her eyes bulging. I know my answer is very selfish. I want his feelings to be only on me. I don't want him to be forced on me, I don't want anything that happens between us to be based on sheer pleasure. I want him to do everything with me using all his feelings.

"Now, I'm asking you. Can you also use your feelings when you're with me?" gloria looked at me.

"I? Of course I use my feelings when I'm with you."

"really? Not just limited to needs and naf su?"

"I told you not to mean that you're just my bedmate, Glo, you're special to me."

"Special only?" Gloria laughed so well. "I'm asking you, are you using your feelings like you love me, for example? Or... Do you love me?"

Gloria looked at me giddy, anger and sadness gushed there. I was silent, unable to answer that question.

"If not, don't make me use your feelings. I'm trying to be normal, so don't force me!" Gloria emphasized her sentence.

I didn't force it, I never even forced it in the first place, because I didn't like coercion. But somehow this time I wanted to force her to still have feelings for me.

"Well!" I stroked Gloria's cheeks, looking at her with sadness and great hope.

"You're selfish, Owen!" Gloria brushed off both of my hands that were on her cheeks.

I know he must be disappointed with me, I admit the selfishness that is in me. I want to be loved by Gloria, but I haven't been able to give her the same feeling. Or am I the one who doesn't realize that feeling?

*****