My Amar
5.Paper

That day. In class. Amar really met me. Early in the morning, when I came to class.

"Good afternoon" said Amar.

"Kok afternoon?" I asked while laughing.

"Last afternoon, I forgot to say you survived. So in qhodoin now," said Amar

Basic Amar. Just-there's. In qodo he said, kayak fasting. Haha.

Amar sat at my desk. In front of me. As usual. She likes it, sitting at the table, in front of me. Not in the chair, next to me.

"Do you like cats?" ask Amar.

"Not really," I replied. "Emang why? You like cats?"

"I'm still normal. I don't like cats. I like you, but I'm ashamed to say it. Like I said at the time."

"Haha."

At that time, for some reason, it felt like Amar made me laugh so easily. I don't know if he's wearing an amulet or anything. But, he looked humorous at the time.

Bell rings. Signs in lessons. Amar got up from his seat and left.

Before leaving he said, "I'm not going to the cafeteria to rest later. If you're looking for me, I'm at Ati's tea shop."

Actually, I'm not asking where he's going now or later. But he suddenly said so. As if he knew, if I like looking for his whereabouts at rest.

-oOo

At rest, Amar was not in the cafeteria. I asked where the Ati Tea shop was located, to Hani. Apparently, the location of Ati Tea's wsrung, not too far away. I just got out the gate and walked about 50 meters to get there.

I wanted to go to Ati's tea shop back then. But, I didn't do it. I'm ashamed, still don't dare to go there. Ira said there are a lot of bad boys. I like to smoke and bumble.

At that moment I thought. Is Amar smoking too? Amar is mabok too? What is Amar drug? Does Amar like to drink alcohol? The question arises.

-oOo

I was studying mathematics, which Mr. Asep taught at the time. Suddenly, Ms. Elis, who served in the BP section, asked permission to let seven students in and read out the warning letter they received.

The seven students are Amar, Ahmad, Deden, Dede and Beni class 2 IPA 1. My Class Arif, or class 2 IPA 2. Dani class 3 IPS 4 and Ujang class 3 IPA 1. They got caught brawling. They were given SP or warning letters. And it's legal to go around and read the letter in every class.

Arif ruined the good name of our class. Here, only Arif is a little devious and mischievous. The others, while not very good, at least did not create any problems.

"After this incident, what lessons did you learn?" ask Mr. Asep to the disciples in the law.

"Mathematical lesson sir" said Amar.

"Why is it math?" ask Mr. Asep. "What's that?"

"I counted how many classes I took. And how many more classes haven't."

Everyone laughed including me. He joked, but again he was in the law. Miss Elis picked her up at the time, and Amar was told to apologize.

When finalized. Ms. Elis brought back the seven men to continue her sentence.

"Ressa's drug." Amar waved his hand as he walked out.

"Cie. cie..."

All my friends cheered. There was also whistling. My face was blushing at that moment. I'm looking down embarrassed. Basic Amar, be careful later if you meet. He embarrassed me and misbehaved me in front of my friends.

"Ressa you're Amar's girlfriend?" ask Mr. Asep. "Don't want to be like that kid. It's just bothering people."

At the time, I should have said I wasn't his girlfriend. But, for some reason, I kept quiet and didn't answer. Maybe because I was embarrassed, so I just looked down.

-oOo

When I got home from school, I saw Amar. He was gathering with his friends. I saw him on the side of the road, while I was waiting for an angkot. At that moment, I saw one of them carrying a sharp weapon. I'm sure they'll be brawled again.

Suddenly Amar saw me. He came up to me on his friend's motorcycle.

"Will you go home?" ask Amar.

"Yes" I replied. "Where are you going?"

"Just play with my friends." Amar poked his shoulder towards his friends.

I know he's lying. He'll definitely brawl. At that time, I wanted to ban it. But I realized, I had no right to it. I'm not who he is, so I can't stop him from doing whatever he wants.

"Want you to take me?" tawar Amar, while glancing at the empty back seat.

"No need" I said.

The transport passed and I went straight up. I just left Amar. At that time, I didn't know why I was worried. I'm afraid she's why-why. I don't like him bouncing around.

I saw Amar staring at me from there. He was like asking "you why?" But he was silent as I left and just looked at me.

-oOo

That evening I finished eating with Mom. Dad just came home at that time. My dad was still working in Jakarta when I was in school.

I asked Dad. I asked her about her High School days, and the times she approached mom. But, I refuse to tell him. He said it wasn't good to tell.

After finishing eating. I went to the room. I play my phone. To be honest, I was waiting for Amar to call me that night. But unfortunately not, I've been waiting for two hours. He didn't call or text me.

-oOo

When I was reading a book. Amar came at that time. As usual, he sat down at the table. Right in front of me. I didn't look at him and focus on the novel I was reading.

"I'm sorry" said Amar.

"I'm sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I can't stop loving you."

I smiled at him. He returned my smile. I think he's sorry for what it was, apparently just a dreadlocks.

Amar moved his seat. He sits in a chair. Beside me. And this is the first time, I saw him sitting in this class in a chair.

"Can?" ask Amar suddenly.

"Can what?" my many.

"Can I love you?"

"Whatever," I replied, but I was still focused on the book I was reading.

"I assume, that's the answer."

I glanced at Amar. He looked at her who was focusing in the other direction. Maybe, so as not to make eye contact with me, or something.

"Solicit paper."

Without answering, or asking why, and what? I immediately picked up the book. Tear off the middle and give it to Amar.

Amar took. He stared at the paper for a long time. Until I was confused, why did he do it.

Amar picked up the pen in the pocket of his uniform. Lalu—

I thought he was going to write something, but instead went back to silence while staring at the two objects in his hand.

"Kok continued to see, what's on the paper?" my question, curious.

"You know this is paper?" He showed me the paper.

"Yes, you know."

"Good."

Amar kept the paper on the table.

"Paper is like a heart" he said.

I just kept quiet. Silently staring. Silence was trying to digest, the intent of those words.

"empty" said Amar.

I'm getting confused. The more I looked at him, until I frowned.

"Then you came." Amar took the pen, and wrote something on the paper.

I didn't see what he wrote, but I kept looking at Amar.

My head is full of question marks, what does that mean? My brain was thinking hard, trying to digest the meaning of those words.

Amar finished writing, putting the pen back in his pocket, saying: "The paper is beginning to write."

Paper is like a heart. Blank. Then you came. The paper began to write.

I tried to combine, each of his separate words. Digest it, and try to translate it so I can understand.

I still don't understand. Not yet understood, but Amar had finished something he wrote on the paper. Till—

"Like my heart, empty. And you start filling it."

Uh! I finally understood.

Paper is like a heart. Blank. Then you came. The paper began to write. Like my heart, empty. And you start filling it.

What I caught, from that point, was: "His heart is empty. Then when I came, there was me who filled it."

But that's my opinion. I don't know if I was wrong or not at the time.

Amar. Stand up, without looking at me, then leave without saying goodbye.

I glanced at the paper he wrote. I looked at him, picked him up, then read his pretty good writing for a guy who rarely writes.

"Paper is blank, white, clean, plain. Then, you start writing ink to her. You drew a heart on that paper by accident. Then you look at her with a smile, even if it's just a smile you're forcing."

I read the first verse of that writing. Then continue reading the second good.

"That's how hearts. It was empty at first, but you came. You fill it with love accidentally, or maybe without your knowledge. Then you want to erase that love, erase it by force."

I breathe out slowly. Slowly, I began to understand after reading it. I tried to shut up, breathing again. Lalu—

I read the last verse from that paper.

"But, try removing the ink in the heart-shaped paper. You can't delete it. You can hide it with type-x or cross it out. But that heart-shaped ink will still be there, even if it's covered."