My First Love (My Memories Revealed)
CHAPTER 2 | Going Further
Days changed, and it didn't feel like five years we were together. I gradually came to my senses and felt Sam's warm love begin to melt my long frozen heart. I wanted to repay Sam's beautiful love, but as I tried to open my heart, the shadow of my past began to haunt me. I don't want to live as the old Reina, I want to throw away my love, I don't want to be hurt anymore. I'd rather live like this, I know I'm selfish, I didn't give my heart to Sam but Sam kept giving me love. I'm just afraid it's all going to happen again like before.
Today is exactly five years of our marriage, for me it is not important, many couples never celebrate their wedding day, not only me, but Sam is not like that, every moment that has been passed with me, Sam wants to repeat and commemorate the moment as a happy moment, very different from me, right? suddenly the ringing of my cell phone disperse my daydream, when I looked at my phone screen it was Sam who called me, I could already guess what he was going to say to me.
“Hello... Rein, you remind me now what day?”
I can imagine the look on Sam's face speaking because his tone sounded like a very happy person.
“hmm”
my answer is short, though,
“we dinner outside yaa.. I have a good restaurant reservation for tonight”
like I thought, Sam wanted us to celebrate our wedding anniversary.
“OK”
my answer is short, though,
“i pick up five o'clock ya, dandan beautiful darling, love you”
Sam hung up the phone after saying that, because he knew that I couldn't possibly reply to his statement.
It's been five hours since Sam called me at exactly ten this morning and it's time for me to be ready. Going to dinner with Sam is not necessary and and too excessive, whatever I wear no matter how I make up, Sam will still only look at me, but there is no way I can do that, after everything she's done for me, it's just a pretty make-up, can't I? when I started getting ready my phone rang again and this time it wasn't Sam who called me but Meli, my best friend. Meli called me with a video call.
“Hai Rein's. How's it going? I miss you so much, Meli said in an ongoing video call
The only person standing next to me during my most difficult time was Meli. I again missed my cheerful past with Meli and Rey.
Suddenly my tears flowed again when my heart mentioned the name Rey, the name I had buried tightly together with all the memories in it. I turned my face away from Meli, Meli looked at me confusedly.
“Rein.. What was? Am I wrong to speak? What's up?.”
it was clear that Meli was very worried because I was crying when we were talking. Meli who was initially confused to understand why I was crying.
“Rein, when will you be? your life is even better than before Rein, you have a husband who loves you so much even though you never loved him, you have a beautiful child, your life is comfortable. What's again? forget Rey, your life now is with Sam.”
I flinched with the word Meli. She wanted me to forget Rey so easily? I looked back at Meli with anger on my face.
“Mel, you know my struggle to forget Rey but I'm not here even, until now I still can't Mel, I'm tired of living like this, too, living with all the falsehoods but I could never love Sam and it won't happen until whenever”
I said it seriously and firmly in front of Meli. Meli could only look at me, Her gaze was like giving up on me.
“Alright. It's up to you this time Rein, for sure I've warned you many times, Rey your past, Rey already.”.
Not until Meli's heart continues to say because it sees me getting tormented with all this.
“Rein. sorry. akutak means.. I mean you are now Sammy's, try to love him even a little, Sammy deserves love from you Rein even if it takes time.”
Meli tried to calm me down, I tried to calm down and spoke with a cool head.
“Ren.. Listen to me, you'll regret it a second time if you don't choose to insult Sam, I know you're sick and scared but it's better to step in than nothing.. see you Rein”
Meli ended our video call, today I really messy, can I face Sam with a face and appearance like this?
“doesn't this be enough for today? is this all I can give Sam?”
I heard the door knocking as I looked back I saw Sam coming with a series of beautiful roses, a sweet smile emanating on Sam's handsome face, I want to love this man, but every time I want to step the fear comes back.What's wrong with me, why is my body moving on its own? I went up to Sam and kissed him, I wanted to start the day with this man, the man who still loves me even though I don't love him, the man who kept waiting for me for whatever it was, I want to start over with him.
I took my kiss off Sam and turned my face away from him. Sam looked at me with a very happy gaze, Sam approached with his warm smile and stroked my hair, Sam hugged me tightly while crying. I could see the love on his face, I could feel the sincerity in his arms, this man loved me so much, now it was time for me to repay all the love I had ever felt. Meli's right, Rey is just my past and right now I'm facing the world with my husband Sammy. Sam took his arms off me, Sam held my arms tightly as if he would not believe what I had just done.
“Rein.. this. means. aaa.aaku..”.
Sam could not say a word, tears kept flowing on his cheeks, I stroked and wiped Sam's tears with the affection he always craved from me.
“I'm sorry, after five years we were married, I.”
tears also flowed from my eyes, I could not continue my words, whether my decision was right, I admit I started to love him, I was devastated, I allowed myself to be carried away by the affection Sam gave me.
“Rein, I never ask much from you, you start loving me it's more than enough for now.”
Sam understood my situation so well, I was thankful that the man I married was this good and this perfect I slept in Sam's arms took a smile like I couldn't believe that today would happen, I looked at the clock that was already showing at seven in the night, I got up from Sam's embrace and looked towards Sam while opening the big big ball of my eyes.
“Sam, we're not leaving? It's already seven”
I stood up and took the bag straight away, but as I stood up Sam held back my steps and pulled my hand which made me fall into his lap, I was shocked because our faces were so close, so close, I've never seen Sam's face this close before, why did I realize my husband was so handsome?.
“I cancle Rein.”
Sam smiled again and put his forehead on my forehead, I don't want to avoid it anymore.
“I want to go through tonight alone with you Rein”
will I dodge this time, my heart beats faster and faster, no, I'm still not ready this time. When I closed my eyes I felt something soft touch my lips. Sam kissed my lips that made me weak helpless, Sam seemed to be ruling me this time, then he took his kiss off me and looked at me also defending me gently, Sam brought his face closer
“can I touch you?”
Sam wanted more, Sam wanted to show his love in a different way, I just smiled and stroked his hair
“sorry, but I'm not ready for this, I need more time.”
I saw a slightly disappointed look on Sam's face with my answer, but Sam still respected my decision, Sam was really a very good man, he appreciated me as a wife and a woman, she said, I want to grant her wish, but I'm still really not ready to go any further than this. Sam confirmed his sitting position as before and smiled at me and kissed me on the forehead
“I'm sorry, I said that I won't ask much from you, but I want you more, sorry Rein”
My feelings are deepening for Sam, my good husband, handsome and appreciative of me, I still can't believe I married this perfect man. I kept staring at my husband's slumbering face right next to mine, again I asked myself, is this choice to love Sam right? I was scared. Just imagining it gave me goosebumps.
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