My First Love (My Memories Revealed)
CHAPTER 22 | Do I Love Her?

Accompanied by a glass of coffee and documents piled up on Sam's desk, Sam continued to work and finished all his work that afternoon until the time showed that five o'clock in the afternoon it was time for him to go home. Sam tidied up all the documents on his desk and tidied them up, Sam is not a person who likes messy things, Sam prefers to tidy up his own stuff and leave his office in a very neat position. Sam took care of it with a smile on his face. The smile was getting sweeter with dimples on his right side.

“I miss Rein” He said as he rubbed his face.

On the way home in his head was just Rein, like a teenager drunk in love, that's what Sam felt, seven years of marriage does not make Sam stop loving Rein even though Sam understands the condition of Rein who does not love him, the longer his love is greater for his wife, his desire to make her happy, and his love for her, the desire to make him smile every day, that's what Sam always felt and did.

The sound of the car coming in was heard by me who was playing with Mira, Mira looks happy with the arrival of her father.

“Mira, papa has gone home” I said staring at Mira

Mira runs to the front door and prepares to intercept Sam's return. As soon as Sam opened the door, he was greeted by Mira who spread her arms and ran towards him.

“Papa.” He shouted while hugging Sam

Sam hugs her and holds her also throws Mira and catches her, Mira is most pleased when Sam throws Mira and catches her.

“Beautiful papa boy” He said while kissing Mira's cheek

I came to the boy and the father who hugged each other, even though my heart could not love Sam yet, but seeing them happy like this was enough for me and maybe I could survive with Sam.

“Aduh Mira and papa are so friendly y'all” I said tease them.

Sam looked at me and furrowed his brows while smiling

“Why do you want too, baby? I can be more friendly Rein” said while lowering Mira.

Sam came up to me and touched my chin with a pretty weird look.

“But in the room yaa” His words whispered in my ear.

I was surprised by what he said and took a step back with a surprised face. She could have said this, I looked at Mira who kept looking at Sam. I hope Mira doesn't hear what Sam just said.

I pinched his belly which had tempted me with those naughty words, but even so, Sam would not dare to touch me without my permission, that would have allowed me to hang on with Sam to this day, because he has a lot of respect and respect for my decision.

“sttt!! If Mira heard how” Tanyaku by widening my eyes and while whispering

Sam looked towards Mira who from earlier looked towards the two of us with a smile. Mira who does not understand what is just returning Sam's smile. Sam is getting wild at the moment.

“Mira, does Mira want a sister?” Sam told Mira.

Once again I was surprised at what Sam said, what was he thinking? Why did he say such a strange thing to Mira? I round my eyes and hit Sam's big arm. Mira just laughed and answered Sam's question.

“Adik? Papa can make Mira a sister?” said Mira innocently

I can't cope with this condition any more, Sam's really a little outrageous, he's really teased me to this extent. Sam looked at me and smiled with a thousand meanings. I folded my hands and threw away my face. Sam approached my face and smiled sweetly while banging his forehead with my forehead and then kissed my forehead. At that moment, I felt my heart start pounding, Sam was really unsettling.

“Sam you want to eat or shower first?” Ask me to divert the mood.

Sam looked at me while tilting his head which made him look very adorable.

“I want to eat, but eat you yaa” he replied as he pinched my cheek in front of Mira

“Mama.. Mira is hungry, let's eat” said Mira while holding her stomach

Sam looks towards Mira and and holds Mira while rubbing her nose with Mira's nose which has the same shape.

“Mira hungry? Okee's.. Let's eat”

Sam replied as he walked to the dining table holding Mira with one hand and the other holding my waist.

I don't know what's going on in the office today, but Sam really looks really happy. From the way he talked to me and the way he talked to Mira, too. I can see and feel it.

“You did happen today what happened to Sam in the office? Looks like a really good thing happened huh?” I ask while eating

Sam smiled and nodded, but he didn't tell me, Sam just played and joked with Mira at the dinner table.

“Papa, Mira will soon go up to first class, if Mira enters SD Negeri what Mira can ask for a gift from papa?" Ask Mira.

Sam looks towards Mira, Sam starts to realize that time is really fast passing, Mira will soon go up to Elementary School, Sam does not want to miss any of Mira's childhood, Mira, since Mira has now started to understand which is good and which is not, it also starts to get angry and lie to us.

“What does Mira want? As long as it's a positive thing papa will give it to Mira.” Answer Sam.

Mira smiles and continues eating, but doesn't tell Sam what he wants.

I turned the dinner table and cleaned the house for a while before going into the room to sleep, and I didn't feel the time to show ten o'clock at night, I checked into Mira's room to make sure that Mira had gone to bed and returned to the room, Sam was still awake wearing glasses and reading his favorite novel. Sam read it very seriously. Another thing I like about Sam is that when he does things seriously, his face is really very handsome. No wonder so many female employees are so happy to see Sam working seriously, because this is what they see from Sam.

“Why should he do everything seriously? Doesn't he know that his serious face is really dangerous” murmured me in the heart.

Sam looked at me and smiled, but he frowned because he saw my slightly sullen face.

I just shook my head and climbed into the bed and went to sleep on Sam's back.

Sam held my shoulder and brought his face closer to me

“Rein, did I make a mistake?” Ask back, but I don't answer.

I was also confused by what I was doing now, why did I arrive annoyed with Sam?

Sam put down his book and glasses and hugged me from behind.

“What's up? If you don't tell me I don't know my fault where” said softly.

I turned my body around and faced Sam still with an annoyed expression attached to my face.

“You really have to do that?” I said

Sam looked at me and didn't seem to understand what I was saying. He shook his head and rolled his eyes like he was looking for an answer to my question.

“Rein, I don't understand, what do you mean?” Ask Sam

I was upset that Sam didn't understand what I meant, I turned my body around but Sam held me back with both hands.

“Tell what you mean, say it clearly.” Sam looked at me

I don't understand why I'm like this, Sam looks at me but I don't dare look him in the eye.

“Rein, what's up?” Soft question.

I ventured to look into his eyes and say everything.

“No more putting on a serious face when you do everything” I said

Sam who initially put on a confused face slowly understood the purpose of my actions, he looked at me and hugged me, I tried to release Sam's embrace, but Sam was getting stronger.

“Sam last” I said with an annoyed face

“i know it, you're jelous right?” He said as he continued to hug me”

“No, i’m not” I said while continuing to detach from Sam.

“I can't be jealous of Saam just because of this problem, can't” I murmured in my heart.

But my heart was still upset, I tried to convince myself that I was not jealous of Sam just because his serious attitude made many women like him.

Sam let go of his embrace and brought his forehead closer to mine with a smile.

“You're jealous I like Rein too, which means you care about me, and you know what? Jealousy is the beginning of you falling in love with someone” He said gently.

I was silent at Sam's words, I still couldn't believe that I was jealous of him. I turned my face away but Sam held it back. Sam drew his face closer to me and kissed my lips softly. I can't control myself. My heart was beating fast, I wanted to let go of Sam's kiss but I had no energy, I couldn't lie to my heart.

Sam kissed me deeper and stroked my hair, I closed my eyes and followed Sam's rhythm, Sam kissed me wilder this time and his hands had already started unbuttoning my shirt, I woke up and held her hand and let go of the kiss.

“Sam, don't” I said

Sam looked at me with a gaze I had seen before, the first time he kissed me wildly before I finally lied to him.

“Rein, I want you tonight” He said while holding my face.

I refused, I still haven't cleared my heart, I can't give myself completely to Sam if I can't clear my heart and erase Rey from my past, I want to love Sam sincerely without Rey's shadow behind me.

“I can't Sam, I'm sorry.” I said while covering my face.

Sam smiled and hugged me, disappointed face back in sight. I let Sam down again, I hated this feeling, this feeling of guilt towards Sam who was so good and loved me so much.

“It’s ok Rein. I'm the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn't have done that without your permission” replied Sam.

What the hell am I doing? I let her down again and again. I really wanted to give myself to her but when I did, Rey's shadow appeared that scared me. But Sam is still waiting for me and loves me with all his heart, this time I will fight harder to erase my past and come to Sam. Since I am his, I should have given myself to him.

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