My First Love (My Memories Revealed)
CHAPTER 27 | Now I Know That I Love Her

I cleaned the dishes at the dinner table to put them in the kitchen and cleaned the dinnerware used earlier while Mira played with all kinds of toys, Sam and Reno spoke casually in front of the tv. I cleaned the dining table and kitchen and made tea for my husband and sister-in-law.

“Hai..it looks like a great topic for your conversation. Office problems yes?” I asked while putting tea and pieces of apples.

I sat next to Sam, Sam embracing me. Ken looked at us with a slightly annoyed look.

“It seems nice to be married.” Ken Exclamations.

Sam laughed at Ken's babble, then made it even hotter by kissing my forehead and hugging me.

“Kak, do it in the room do not in front of me.” Ken Exclamations.

Sam and I laughed at Ken's attitude. It was obvious on his face that Ken wanted something like this with his girlfriend, too,

“Quickly get married, can do this every day very nice Ken” Goda Sam on his sister.

“How was your day at the office?” Ask me while looking at Sam and Ken.

“Pretty good, Ken managed to play the role of detective this time” replied Sam while crossing both hands.

I looked at Sam and Ken with a confused look. They are no longer eight-year-olds with detective roles.

“What are you eight guys? Ken as detective?” My toot.

Sam and Ken laughed at my reaction, in Sam's eyes I was an innocent woman and easy to deceive.

“Do not disturb my brother-in-law keep brother Sam. Brother Rein does my brother tease you often?” Ask Ken.

I just smiled and pinched the little belly of Sam with his care for me.

“Yaa this is how your brother Ken. Before I married him was Sam always like this? Like to tease women close to him?” My toot.

Sam looked at me like he couldn't believe I asked Ken something like that.

“Darling, I'm a good man, I never tease any woman other than you, it’s only you” He replied with a slightly exaggerated expression.

Sam said something like that made me and Ken tickle themselves. I never imagined Sam would say this to me.

“Gosh brother Sam, I get goosebumps hearing your words sis.” Ken Exclamations.

I was like that too, goosebumps to hear my husband say that. I pinched Sam's cheeks in anxiety.

“Do not say like that again Sam.” I said while pinching both cheeks.

Sam laughed at me and Ken wailed amusedly like a hot cunning hearing that word.

“You guys talk first, I'm in the bathroom for a minute.” Exclaim Sam

Sam left me and Ken. Ken looked at me with a happy smile.

“So I really love Brother Rein. About the word he said earlier, it's all true, brother was once rumored to be gay because he never liked women at all brother. So brother never talks sweet with his girlfriend friend.” Ken Exclamations.

I listened to Ken, I imagined how Ken would feel knowing that I didn't love his brother. I still haven't forgotten my past. What if Ken finds out that only Sam loves me while I don't. Doesn't that hurt for her? Knowing that a sister he loved had to live with a woman like me, a woman who couldn't love him for years.

“I'm happy the woman that big sister married is sister Rein, a beautiful woman and deeply loves big sister. May you both be happy forever, brother. It's the night I slept first sister.” Said Ken.

Ken left me and went into his room to rest while I was still sitting on the sofa.

My heart is pounding hearing Ken's words. My heart hurts, I want to cry. All this time Sam's been holding everything to himself, he's never told anyone about his relationship with me, not his family. I unconsciously shed my tears. Given how selfish I was to Sam. I'm upset with myself who still can't forget Rey.

“Rein, Ken's in the room?” Ask Sam

I wiped my tears as fast as I could, I didn't want Sam to see me cry.

I shook my head and smiled at him then leaned my head against Sam's firm chest.

“What am I sleepy about, I go in first yaa” My exclaim.

I went into the room and wiped my tears. In my room I tried not to cry. Said – said Ken really stabbed me. The day I spent with Sam was really happy, but why can't I give my heart to Sam? How much longer will it take until I can love Sam with all my heart? That's what I ask every day. Isn't it so much fun when I can love Sam like Sam loves me? Feel love together, cry together, feel pain together. I wanted to go through it with Sam, but my heart couldn't turn away from Rey.

Sam came in and saw me holding back my tears. Without thinking, Sam went straight to the bed and hugged me.

“What's up? Did Ken say anything that hurt you?” Ask Sam.

“Honest me Rein.” Ask Sam.

I turned around and hugged Sam crying, I couldn't hold my tears right now, my hands were shaking, my heart was hurting. Like in a dark hallway, I screamed but no one reached out with their hands to me.

“I'm sorry Sam. What should I do to love you sincerely? Whatever I'm going to do this time.” I said while crying.

Sam doesn't understand what's happening to me. I suddenly hugged him and said something he did not understand.

“What are you talking about? A way to love me? What's up with you?” Sam asked confusedly.

I wiped my tears and sat looking at Sam.

“ Sam, help me forget my past. Help me forget Rey so I can love you.” Excruciate.

Sam just smiled and touched my face with his hands while shaking his head.

“Rein, I can't do that. It all starts with your heart, it's your heart that needs to clean it up itself, not me. All this time as hard as I tried to make you come to me it was just a waste.” He said softly.

Sam sat facing me and held my hands and hugged me.

“Listen to Rein, Never forget Rey, she is not a mistake, she is just a beautiful memory that deserves to be in your heart, yet you must continue your present life, with me.”

Sam's gaze really melted me. Unconsciously I really have fallen for him. My heart is pounding hard. I feel jealousy towards Sam, I want to give my best to him every day, I want to keep him smiling. Unknowingly I loved her. I really loved her. Now that I understand, Sam opens my eyes. Rey is just my past, right now I'm happy with Sam. I just didn't realize it.

“Rein, I love you, I understand when we get married you don't even look at me, but I still choose to love you. Now it's your turn, whatever your decision, I won't leave you.”

I looked at Sam and touched his face, my tears flowing again. I closed my eyes, I felt my heart pounding. This happy feeling, this is what I want to feel with Sam. I can finally feel it, I love Sam, I love my husband so much.

“Sam, I love you.” I said slowly.

Sam looked at me in disbelief. But Sam just smiled, and shook his head.

“I told you, I'd rather live with painful reality than live with the beautiful lie Rein.”

“Sam, I really love you. I feel it. Look at me, am I lying?” I asked while holding Sam's face with my hands

Sam was silent for a moment looking into my eyes, his tears flowing, his head bowed. Sam still doesn't believe my confession. Happiness came out of his face. Sam smiled happily and hugged me tightly.

“What is this Real Rein?” Ask Sam

I love Sam. Knowing I felt that feeling, I was really very happy. My feelings are unstoppable and so are Sam. Sam's words made me realize. All this time I loved her, just didn't realize it, I just focused on Rey who was the cause of my happiness and also the cause of my sadness, until I didn't realize that I loved Sam so much. I don't want to lose Sam, I want to be with him, grow old with him and love him forever.

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