My First Love (My Memories Revealed)
CHAPTER 48 | Don't Leave Me Alone

Once again I found myself walking in a dark hallway, only tears accompanied my footsteps. Sadness, disappointment, useless feeling, I felt everything mixed into one that made me sick, very sick even to breathe was so heavy I felt. Losing someone precious forever is the worst thing that will always come to anyone. No matter what your circumstances, when it is difficult, happy, sad and even dying, when it is time for someone to leave then no one can prevent it.

Today I felt it, and this time it hurt a lot more. My heart is like being torn. The man who had always guarded and protected me since childhood, a man who never stopped giving his love and even willingly did anything to keep his beloved daughter smiling, today he has left me for good.

I cried seeing the nurse pull out all the breathing apparatus that papa used on his body, seeing how pale papa's face was then. I who could not accept the fact that tried to wake up papa once again, in my memory papa often played like this, papa often played like this, papa pura fell asleep and I had to wake up papa to play with me when I was a kid. I can't tell the difference between reality and the memory recorded in my head.

“Papa.. Wake up, let's play with Reina. Reina is lonely pa” Seruku while holding back my tears.

Sam hugged me from behind and made me realize that this was all real, but I still didn't want to accept this fact. I'm still trying to wake papa up, I'm so upset you didn't even get up and play with me. I want you to get up and play with me like always, I miss you. I wiggled papa's body tight enough that the bed moved, my tears falling on papa's lifeless face.

“Papa.. Wake up.. Rein wants to play with papa.. Paapaa.” I screamed while crying.

I don't care how other people look at me then, all I know is that I lost my love that I could never repay at any moment, I lost my papa.

“Rein, relax.. Ssshh.. Calm down” Excited Sam.

I fell down while crying. In this condition, no one will be able to deal with it, including my mother. Mama couldn't accept this harsh reality, mama fell down and was unconscious, Sam sat me in a chair and immediately grabbed her and put her to sleep on a couch and came back to me.

“Rein, quickly contact papa's close colleagues also Meli also my parents. Me and Ken are going to take care of papa's funeral now.” Exclaim Sam

Sam came out and called Ken straight away, I did Sam's orders immediately, although with trembling hands, I still had to pass on this sad news to my close relatives.

“Mel.. Can you come over here? I'm at Sekar Hospital in Bandung. Papa has died Mel” Seruku told this news while crying.

“Rein, what? B..Alright.. I'll be there right now, what do you need? I'll prepare and I'll take it there.” Meli answered by phone.

“Can I buy papa a set of clothes for burial, complete with gloves? I'll take care of the rest from here.” Answer me

“Alright, I'll bring you. Calm down until I come.” Meli Seru.

Sam walked down the hospital hallway calling to take care of papa's funeral. That night papa was moved to Rumah duka RS Sekar in Bandung after being bathed and dressed in sets of clothes brought by Meli. Seeing all this I realized one thing that I was not alone, that many people were very considerate and loving to me, that Sam took care of papa's grave and all his funeral needs, he said, Meli who is willing to travel a long way to help me prepare all the needs in the funeral home, Ken who is alert to help Sam.

It turns out that it's true said people, dead elephants leave their tusks while dead humans leave their names, during his life papa is a good person, he said, every person who had been helped by papa and papa's friend that night came to pay his last respects, not infrequently there were also those who cried because papa had left them, some of them cried and thanked me for being so kind to them. Today I saw a clear proof of Papa's kindness that his friends will never forget forever.

Tonight passed quickly, at twelve o'clock we went home to my mother's house with my friends Meli and Raka. I remember this house in every corner, my memories took me through a time when I was a kid, when I cried and laughed, when my mom scolded me and I ran to my dad. All those sweet memories made my tears come back. I walked up to the front door of my mom and dad's room. I saw my mother fall asleep while holding back her tears that looked very painful, I could not see my mother like this, my heart was very sick watching her my chest hurt as she kept calling me papa. Sam got me standing in front of the door and hugged me and kissed my forehead.

“Tonight sleep with mama, I know you can't stand to see mama like this.” Sam Excited.

Sam saw me enter the room and went to the room to rest, I walked towards my mother crying and hugged my mother who was holding her chest that hurt because it held her cry.

“Mama.” I hugged my mom

I can't say anything right now, my heart is very sick I can only accompany my mother to cry while hugging my mother. We cried together to sleep because of exhaustion.

In my sleep I dreamed of papa, papa came to my dream with a gentle smile and bought my hair and sat next to me who was crying. At that time I again felt the warm embrace of papa, the most comfortable and safe place was when I was in papa's arms.

“Papa.. Can Rein come with papa? Rein doesn't want to be alone without papa” Asking me while hugging papa like a child.

“If you can, papa will take you and papa, but you have your own family Rein, you have Sam and Mira that you have to take care of. Do not dissolve in sadness, you may miss papa, but do not let this interfere with your life. Remember you have a Rein family, take care and love your family. Remember Rein, whatever happens, you will continue with you, even when your body is not with you, but your affection and support will continue with you and your mother. Go back to your life, papa go ya.” Papa cried while walking away from me.

I dreamt of it while crying and mentioned the name of my father in my dream that night.

“Papa..” Excruciate.

I woke up from my sleep, I saw the time showed at five o'clock in the morning and my mother was still asleep with tears still flowing. I woke up and moved to my own room to sleep with Sam for a while. I went in and hugged her who was asleep with Mira.

“Hey.. You good?” Sam asked softly as he kissed my forehead while embracing me

“It’s ok. we face it together”Add it.

Without realizing it, I fell back asleep in Sam's arms, which made me very comfortable, then woke up to the morning sun and the sound of chickens crowing. I woke up and I saw Sam and Mira were not in bed. I came out of my room and I saw that everyone was busy preparing for papa's funeral. I came out of the room with a swollen face and big, black eye bags from crying all day

“Rein, you good? Let's have breakfast first.” Sapa Meli while holding me to the dining table and eating together.

Although I had no appetite, I had to eat to fill my energy, I sat next to my mother and hugged her.

“We must be strong Yes Rein, God loves papa more than us.” Excited mama.

I nodded and wiped my tears that came out and ate together. At exactly seven in the morning, we left for the funeral home at Sekar Hospital to bring papa to be buried at eight this morning.

Mama and I held back my tears as the coffin closures were done and were slowly buried in the ground. Not only us, the sky was crying that morning, the sky was mourning the loss of a good human figure who always lived by spreading kindness to everyone. The rain fell and the funeral was over. It may be true that papa said through my dream, maybe the body of papa has left me and mama, but papa's affection and papa's support will continue to be with us, papa has finished the match, papa has finished the match, it is now my turn and my mother who continue this match and follow in the footsteps of papa who always spread kindness to everyone.

“Papa.. Thank you for the love you have given me. Until whenever papa is the best for Rein. Thank you for making Rein a great and wonderful woman. Don't worry papa, Rein will live well” Seruku while touching papa's tombstone.

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