My First Love (My Memories Revealed)
CHAPTER 68 | May I?

I was silent and pensive in the room alone, I let the feeling of sadness overwhelm me at that moment. By continuing to hold my chest that feels tight I hold my cry, now the shadow of my past also comes and returns to fulfill my mind. Her face is very similar to Rey, the man I once loved and left me forever. A man I wanted to stay with me forever but in fact it was the one who ruined my life. Wh why? Why was it when I was happy with Sam that face came back?. My eyes were closed and only Rey's shadow I could see.

I wiped away the tears that flooded my face and tried to come down before Sam came. But just as I was coming down from my bed, Sam went into the room and saw my eyes swollen from crying for quite a while.

“Darling, what happened? Why are you crying?”, Sam asked me.

“I'm fine Sam”, I replied weakly.

Sam looks panicked to see my condition doesn't look good. He hugged me and calmed me down, I didn't want to tell Sam what really happened to me. I wanted to deal with this alone, I realized that I belonged to Sam right now.

“I'm fine Sam. Don't worry, I'll tell you when I'm ready. Let's go down and have dinner with”. I took Sam out of the room.

I felt bad that night, that night I didn't even say anything and just ate with an uncomfortable feeling. Trying to look good in front of Sam but I couldn't do it, Sam saw me wiping my tears and just waiting for me to tell him.

After dinner I leave it entirely to Bi Sumbi, the housekeeper to clean the house and also take care of Mira tonight because I feel very bad and want to rest immediately.

“Bi, please clean everything up and take care of Mira”, I said.

“No need Bi, I will take care of Mira”, said Sam saw me

Sam pulled me up and into the room to talk about the problem that was happening to me right now. I could feel the emotion in his tight grip as he pulled on me.

“Tell me what really happened to you, if you ignore me I'll take it because maybe you're very tired. But I can't see you ignoring Mira”, said Sam a little emotionally.

“Alright, I'll take care of Mira”. I answered by walking out of the room.

Sam came up to me and pulled my hand to stop my steps. He looked at me like he didn't understand what was happening to me. I looked down and cried while covering my face.

“I'm sorry Sam, I shouldn't be like this to you”, I said with a tear.

“What's up? I do not understand you Rein”, he said confused.

From that day I met Ryan, the neighbor who moved in right in front of the house, my day changed. It was as if I had come back like the old Rein, I was stuck in the past. Sam felt the change that had happened to me ever since he saw me crying for no reason in front of him. He even found out what really happened to me but he didn't find it because it was just me who knew.

It's been a week since I changed. Sam tried to comfort me and seduce me into telling me what was really happening to me.

“Rein, do you want to go on vacation? I'm going to clear my schedule to enjoy the holidays with you and Mira” he said looking at me.

“No need, I better be at home taking care of you and Mira”, I replied briefly.

“Do you want to go shopping? If true yes, I give my black card and spend as much as you”, said Sam trying to seduce me.

“Calm Sam. Nothing happened to me, I'm fine”, I replied gently.

“And you hope I believe it?”, replied Sam annoyed.

“Rein do you realize that your attitude and your nature are the same as they were nine years ago when we just got married? There was no love in your eyes and now I see it again. There is no love in your eyes when you talk to me now”, Sam said looking at me sadly.

I looked at Sam and smiled to calm him down, I grabbed him and I kissed his hand to convince Sam that his thinking was wrong about me.

“Do not think like that. Didn't you pull me out of my dark times and make me fall in love with you?. I love you Sam and forever will be like that”, I assured him.

Sam smiled as he nodded and kissed my hand . He picked up his briefcase and saw a clock curled around his wrist.

I delivered him a sammpai to the front of the gate and unexpectedly Ryan appeared which made me round my eyes in surprise.

“Gosh. how is it possible?”, said Sam

“What's Sam?”, I came to him.

Sam lowered his head while looking at two of his car tires that were leaking when he had to go to the office this morning.

“Just use my car. I'll take care of it before delivering Mira”. I rubbed Sam's back.

“No need, Mira will be late if you have to take care of the car first. I will order a taxi online course”, he said immediately.

Sam waited for the online taxi he ordered right in front of the gate and I accompanied him until the taxi came. Without realizing it, Ryan approached Sam, who was waiting for a taxi to pick him up.

“Pak Sam”, say hello Ryan.

“I Ryan, a new neighbor moved right in front of the house sir, what are you waiting for?”, he said introducing himself.

“Oh, I am waiting for the online taxi I ordered. I have to go to the office immediately to attend the meeting”, explained Sam.

“How about going with me? I also have to go to work, aren't we one way?” Ryan said.

“You better wait for an online taxi, do not listen to him”, I said.

I didn't want Sam to be involved in anything with him, just because he had a very similar face to Rey, I tried to dissuade Sam from getting along with Ryan.

“If I don't accept the offer, I'll be late. It's okay Rein I will cancel”, said Sam.

“Can?”, ask Sam.

“Please”, Ryan replied.

I clenched my hand to see him smile at me. Even the way they smiled was the same, I tried to hold myself back until I saw Sam leave and was invisible to me. Immediately I went inside and I took my phone and contacted Meli to ask for her help.

“Mira, today Mira departs with aunt Meli yes dear”. I tidied up Mira's uniform.

“What's mom? Why didn't mama deliver Mira?”, asked Mira plainly.

“ Mama is not in good condition dear. Mama will pick up Mira when she comes home”. I said as I put the bag on Mira's back.

From inside the house I heard the sound of a car horn and immediately I took Mira out to leave with Meli.

“I'm sorry I've been troubling you Meli”, I said opening the door for Mira.

“Tenace. I will return after delivering the children, it looks like you need friend”, replied Meli.

I nodded and waved my hand at Mira, as soon as I saw that the car that Meli was driving in had left, I went inside the house and took the album I had hidden from Sam during our marriage.

I remembered him back. Can I do it even if I'm married and have children? Can I remember my old love story with Rey?. No?, I knew it was wrong but as soon as I saw Ryan's very similar face to Rey's, I wanted to go back to her memory.