My Love My Pain
My mistake.

A cup of tea and bread accompanied Airin's morning. Airin felt very excited today. Looking at the wall clock, it was time for Airin to leave for the office. Airin decided to leave right then and there, he did not want to be late.

Airin's bag is already carrying. The cell phone and everything Airin needed he had already brought. Airin came out with shoes that had no rights. At least Airin won't be in pain because of his shoes anymore.

"Morning?"

Airin jumped due to Vino's sudden voice. Since when he was outside Airin's apartment. He even made Airin shocked like this.

"You seem to be in a hurry?" ask Vino.

"Yes. I'll go first."

"Be careful" Vino said as he waved his hand.

With a quick step Airin left Vino. By using the elevator Airin will save a little time and energy this time. Several times Airin's phone rang, not from Cika. Arja, why did he call Airin. Airin turned off his phone.

***

Cika looks busy with the computer in front of her. While Airin helped him compile several monthly reports from employees.

Since Airin came. Cika was more silent and moody. Looks like there's a problem. Airin will ask later at lunch. Airin refocused himself on compiling the reports.

Several times Airin had to look at his phone. Back, Arja sent a message to meet Airin. Unfortunately, Airin did not want this relationship to continue. It's all over according to Airin.

"You don't want lunch?" ask Cika.

Airin immediately turned to him, "Yes. You want to come down too?"

Cika nodded. Airin immediately took his hand. Cold, not as usual. Is Cika sick?

"Since then you've been quiet? is there a problem?" ask Airin.

"No problem. It's just that I'm pissed off at Jay. He went home to his town without saying goodbye to me."

Now Airin knows why a Cika can only be silent since then. It was because of his love. Come to think of it, there is no love that has no stumbling block.

Not usually. Today Cika asked for lunch in the cafeteria only. Usually he would eat out with his clients or acquaintances, but not today.

"Who's been calling you all the time?" ask Cika who heard Airin's phone ring again.

Airin put his phone back in his pants pocket.

"Arja. He asked to meet me. It's just, I'm lazy to serve it."

"Why don't you just meet. Maybe he wants to explain something."

"No." Airin shook his head quickly. "I have no intention of meeting him. Anyway, I know what Sela looks like. He'll keep what he has."

"As far as you are. I'm just giving you advice."

"Yes. Thank you" said Airin.

At this lunch. Airin continuously avoided Cika's questions about Vino. After all, Airin still did not want to be in a relationship anymore. Airin was afraid that what happened this time would happen again. It will be more painful than now.

***

"Dad." Yeah."

Airin waved her hand at Cika who had already left with her car. He's gonna go after Jay and come back tonight. Cika seems to love Jay very much.

A message came back into Airin's phone. Arja, he again asked Airin to see him. This time Airin felt he had to see her. There was no way he would dodge like this continuously.

Before anything unwanted happens. Finally Airin agreed to also meet with Arja. At least Airin didn't interfere with his relationship. Airin will only listen to what he has to say.

Airin stopped a taxi. This time the place met with Arja is quite far from Cika's office. There's no way Airin's gonna walk there or he's gonna lose his leg.

"Ke cafe olin" Airin told the taxi driver.

"Good, mbak."

Airin sat quietly. After Airin agreed to meet. Arja no longer sends messages or anything else. Ting. This time a message came in, but not from Arja.

Have you gone home yet? can we meet?

I'm going home late? we'll meet later. Aren't you also invited to Arja's wedding?

Reply Airin.

Yep. We leave together, this time do not refuse my invitation.

Airin smiled at Arja's last message. Airin put his phone back in the bag. Not long, finally arrived at the cafe that Arja meant.

"Thank you, sir."

The cafe is the same. In the past, the beginning of Airin's marriage with Arja. They often come to this cafe. Even they got to memorize what Airin ordered.

With heavy steps, Airin finally entered the cafe. Airin looked for Arja around him. He waved at Airin with a smile.

"What's wrong?" ask Airin directly without stale bases.

"Sit down first" said Arja.

Airin sat opposite Arja. He looks like he always does, with a suit and tie hanging around his neck.

"Aren't you getting married? then why are you asking a woman to meet? aren't you afraid of your future wife?" Airin deliberately asked this.

A waiter came in with blueberry pie and some fresh tea for Airin. Airin turned to Arja, who had ordered this for her.

"Yes, I still remember what you liked." Arja smiled and brought the food closer to Airin.

"really?" ask Airin.

Arja nodded slowly.

"Then what do you want now?" ask Airin later.

"Rin, I. I. I'm sorry."

Airin just stood still and looked at Arja's collar.

"I'll explain everything Rin. This is all Sela's trap. He did it, I couldn't even do anything" Arja said in strange words according to Airin.

"You've said everything?" ask Airin again.

Arja is confused by what Airin said.

"If you've. I gotta go. Ever since the divorce papers came out, it's a sign that you and I don't have any more business." Airin confirmed the position of his bag and immediately rushed away.

Arja is still trying to stop Airin's move. He even followed Airin out of the cafe.

"Rin. I beg you to forgive me, I'll tell you the truth."

"I told you. We have no business anymore. You understand what I'm saying." Airin turned back.

This time Arja held Airin's hand. Airin turned back to him, their eyes met. He looked angry at what Airin said.

"Don't go, Rin."

"Delivery."

"You're still mine."

"Are you crazy. Let go of me."

Airin kept trying to let go of Arja's hand. Instead of slacking off, the grasp was even stronger. To make Airin feel pain in his wrist.

"Take me off" cried Airin as he pushed Arja firmly.

Airin didn't know what he was doing was so wrong. Airin pushed Arja towards the crowded streets with cars. Till, brak.

Airin speaks a thousand languages. His eyes saw something terrible. Arja, he got hit by a car right in front of Airin and all this because of Airin. Arja's body was lying with blood everywhere.

Many people approached. They say Airin pushed it. That's right, but Airin had no intention of getting him hurt. What I should do. I feel so fucked up, thought Airin.

***