Nariswari - Toll Road to Love
The Pathetic Pregnant 2

I will never forget that incident! It will never! I could only curl up on the bed, hugging my knees. Remembering what happened yesterday is so exciting for me. This was the first time after such a long time, he looked on sharply. His always gentle gaze that he presented every day. Time asked for my weird cravings request. He stared coldly. And I was scared for a moment! Kayak is not me! I don't think it's Natan I know, if she lost control because she was drunk, but .. here she is!

I too bowed, looking away. Unable to see it. I surrendered. I want .. I want so much, I want ….

“I would love to meet June.”

“I would love to meet June.”

I looked at him expectantly and then mutely. For at once the shady face of Nathan was changed. Unaltered. There was no more pleasant look on his face. He looked sharply. Tacit. Her tiny lips moved. “You better stab me with your arrow than let you meet June!” Nathan then handed back the bow and arrow he had taken. Then I went away like I wanted to leave myself in a lie.

“But, this is your baby's wish!”

“Already! Stop carrying the baby, he knows what? Why should I see you in June?”

“I don't know, Natan! That's what I want most.”

“Obviously secretly you miss him, right?” He raised his hand pointing at me. “So, eating young coconuts on the island of Komodo is just pretending, huh?” he was cruel to judge.

“A-I don't want to eat!”

“Kalo so, same!” the melancholic man left.

I shed tears. I was so hit! I don't know why it's June? Why I miss June. I really wanted to see it, I really wanted to hear his hoarse and slow voice when speaking. Why can't it? June is his brother!

It's already dusk. I'm not going to go in the house. I hold the stomach. It feels so hungry. Unfortunately, I have no appetite, plus the reckless attitude of Natan. I lay in the gazebo and stroked my stomach. I should still force a meal to keep this baby's nutrition fulfilled, but my ego is just as Natan is too high. Look who among us is going to give up!

***

“That's early in the morning Mr. Natan has been to the office, Mom. I just ordered, I was asked to eat this, salmon soup, if not yes, Miss Lastri would bribe.”

“Let me eat alone, Mom. Oh yeah, why am I on the bed? Didn't I sleep in the gazebo yesterday?”

“Night-night, Mr. Natan secretly carried Mom to the room,” Bu Lastri replied bowed down.

I nodded in amazement, even though we fought like any other married couple, but Natan still cared so much. If he was concerned about his ego of course he would let me sleep outside. This time, Nathan gave up again!

I looked at the dim light from the deep sky. It's 9 p.m., but Natan hasn't come home yet, he hasn't called me. What could be Nathan?! Ah, no! Where possible! I could've sworn she wouldn't cheat like she used to, let alone get pregnant with her child. But ... but. But what if he drinks again? Ah, I hope he doesn't! Then I have to do something!

I rushed upstairs in bed. Contacting Natan via text message in WA, if I'm sick. If for acting sick, I've been shrewd since childhood, after all I was a theater boy in college. Hopefully with this, he's gone down! Forget about June. I had to make my body look like I had a fever and pain. Also, my lips and face I made pale with make up. Let's see what Nathan does!

“Ah, I woke you up, huh?” Nathan asked. I opened my eyes as he held my forehead. You idiot! I'm asleep. “Sorry, I had to go to Bandung and plan to stay because there is work. But, go right back when you send a message. Uhm, have you eaten? Already taking medication?”

I succeeded! I managed to tear it down! I just nodded small. Smiling thinly. Then tell him to rest. He must be so exhausted. From Bandung to Semarang it is 5.5 hours. Pardon me!

Nathan did not change his clothes. He just put his briefcase on the desk, then threw himself aside while holding me. And I just closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep even though my brain was awake. I don't know what this feeling is! Why do I feel challenged by fighting with each other? Though the dream of every woman after marriage, her household is fine, full of love. But, why do I sometimes start to feel so saturated with all that! Should like? Should we fight like this?!

I-i'm sorry! I'm sorry, Nathan! Good thing you came home okay. I glanced at the plain white wall clock, then counted down. Good Lord! I shut my mouth in disbelief! Nathan must be speeding! He was 1 hour faster than the estimated road trip! I-i'm sorry! I-i'm sorry! Thank you, you're fine!

***

What I planned did not end happily! Nathan's sick! From Bandung, he could only curl up in his bed, occasionally taking his tablet to contact people in the office. I feel guilty about this too.

“You're better, Nariswari?” ask him for a moment when I wake him up for breakfast. His voice sounded raucous.

I nodded while bringing him chicken porridge. Then sit in front of him and feed him. She smiles. It was as if I had forgotten what happened yesterday. I'm confused, do I have to apologize? But it could be bad if he knew yesterday was just my wits!

I gave him drinking water that had been given a straw, he sucked water while holding my hand, again he smiled, his face pale white but handsome like the movie star commented. “Oil land?”

“Hah? Kerosene?” My eyes wide.

“This is kerosene?”

I also scowled. “You taunt me again, I don't want to bribe you again.”

“Iya-iya, just kidding. Always remember that incident. Kerosene incident hehehe.”

I just nodded. Staring at him this morning laughing off was enough to make me happy, let my strange cravings I swallowed hard. I should have remembered that Natan was still Natan, the jealous husband of stage 4. It will never change! It could be battered this household if there was a third person, even though it was his own cousin!

“Still yes, Nariswari.” He got up and peed at my cheek, then pulled me. Towards the living room, I slowly helped her down the stairs. I don't know what he's gonna take me out of the house for, anyway, he's still sick.

I also stopped. Stare round. Lips moving. My eyes wide. What I saw was not a dream. I looked at Nathan. This is?! This is?! This really? She saw me too, her stiff and insincere face smiling and pulling me on the sofa.

In front of him, who was only two meters away, sat a June waiting for us. Of June. Yes June. My first love!