Nariswari - Toll Road to Love
I Don't Want to Die By Myself!

“Be-yet-meet, yes?” I was worried about rubbing my pelu. I looked at Mr. Surip expectantly.

“Ma-forgive me, Bu.” The old man seemed hesitant to look down feeling guilty.

“We go to the hospital aja yes, Bu.” Miss Lastri who had previously prepared equipment such as changing clothes, baby clothes, and blankets was directly inserted into the bag. They rushed to help me down the stairs.

“Not really met?” ask again, this time my eyes glazed over. Mr. Surip can only bow down apologizing. Soon the old man took out a gold Natan. I threw myself in the car, enduring the growing pains. It's like running all over the body. Injured in body and heart.

Nathan, where are you?

Behind the car glass. I did not stop praying. Like this turns out to be a mother, I feel like my life will be short. Pain due to contractions called visceral-dull and aching that starts from the lower part of the back, then spreads to the lower part of the abdomen, up to my legs. The pain is like being stabbed.

I inhaled and took a long breath. The pain radiates to the back, stomach, waist to the groin. Even I started to get dizzy, I had headaches, my body was also shaking, it was hot-cold, it was cramps, aches, and muscle aches. I never felt this bad.

I also remember the book I read. In addition to pain due to contractions, a mother will also experience pain where when the baby starts to appear on ******. The network between****** with the anus or perineum stretched very tight because the baby's head pushes it open. The pain is due to a tissue tear. Most moms will feel as if the bottom is about to explode. There are also those who describe it as the pain will remove the dirt after constipation one month. Its medical name, this pain is called somatic-sharp and burning.

According to the WHO, about 830 women die every day from complications during pregnancy and childbirth. About 99 percent of all maternal deaths occur in developing countries.

I don't feel like I'm lying weak on the bed. Around me the room was white as ice. It felt so cold to bone. I could not stop waiting for that figure at the end of the door, giving me warmth. I'm still staring at the door of the room. Hope he comes soon. I don't want to fight alone! And I don't want to die alone!

“Natan you where?”

Several nurses while preparing her medical instruments, the doctor had also appeared and comforted me. Gave me spirit. Maybe seeing me alone is only accompanied by Bu Lastri and Mr. Surip waiting outside. Even Mr. Surip might still be looking for Natan.

“No need to panic yes, Mba.” The doctor smiled calmly. I just nodded trying to smile. Resisting pain alone. I also caressed my stomach. Can I survive in such a situation?

“Mother's Husband has finally arrived.” One of the nurses who had just come out now came in with the warming news. I was very nervous and sick, hearing that Nathan had come, the pain suddenly reduced a little.

“Nariswari,” call the man anxious. The nurse who blocked my view was out of my way. I found that figure. My pale smile then disappeared. Her. He's not Nathan. Her. June?

“You're fine, right?” tanyanya's worried. The man's breath went up and down. Looks like he ran out of sprints to see me soon. I nodded sadly.

“I'm sorry. I can't find Natan.”

I smiled weakly too. “It's okay.”

“Fight Nariswari. You must be strong.” That empathetic face makes me a little energetic. I gushed and took a strong breath. I smiled and nodded.

“Oh, yes sir, this is his wife's pelvis is a little narrow, we suggest for a cesarean section, but Ms. Nariswari asked her to be normal even though it could be at risk of bleeding after childbirth or it could be cephalopelvic disproportion.”

“Cephalopelvic Disproportion or CPD is a condition when the baby's head or body does not fit past the mother's pelvis. This can happen when the baby is too big, the pelvis is too small, the baby is in the wrong position, or a combination of baby cases and the mother's pelvis.” The doctor calmly explained. “This could cause tear of baby exit spot, Sir.”

June looked at me. She's confused. I'm confused too. Why do the doctors and nurses here think June is my husband?

“Do your best, Doc.” June glanced at me.

The doctor nodded. I raised my voice in a soft voice. “Normal tapes only, Doc? I also check for pregnancy frequently. Bu Faridah said it could do, Dok.”

The substitute doctor exhaled. “Can. But, this is just my estimate, yes, Bu.”

I nodded steadily. With a narrow pelvis is likely the baby's exit must be torn. Can I survive? Can I still live? I was nervous first and then sweated pale.

“OK bismillah, we start yes, Bu.”

I'm nodding. June was just shocked. I also realized. “I'd better get out, yeah,” said June so clumsy.

“Why? You can accompany your wife.”

June bowed. Smiling thinly. “I am not her husband, I am her brother her husband.”

They can only be shaken. Then I stopped hearing me scream. My breath is not bad. I clasped the handle like I wanted to strangle him.

“The baby seems to want out!”

June rushed over when the doctor was going to check on my baby. The door that opened in June. The person I missed has come. At a glance his pale face panickedly glanced in shock at his cousin who was about to come out. But, for now it seems like he doesn't want to look for things. He immediately ran towards me and took a soft hold of my hand. I closed my eyes. Crying out. He also rubbed my head.

“I'm afraid.” I clutched that hand so firmly.

“I'm here.”

“Where have you been? I want to die here,” I said softly. My lips are trembling in pain.

“I'm sorry.”

“We start it, yes.” The doctor immediately performed his duty.