Not my Man
Steps

"He's outside, I'll call him!" sahut Gina while taking off her hand.

Then rewarded with a long silence when Gina came out, in that silence Azmi looked up at the ceiling of the room where she lay. Somehow he could, but he could see Muezza and Alif's childhood coming back there when he was young with his two young children.

Muezza who sat with Alun now moved in, on the doorstep he seemed hesitant to approach the father who was lying weakly in the hospital bed. Her face was pale and pitiful, it felt cold as her daughter clasped her hands. However, the light peck on the back of his hand began to spread a warm feeling, it was like sitting in front of a fireplace after a long rainy season.

"Come, we're going home Dad! Dad, don't sleep here for long" he said, holding back tears

"Yes, I promise I'll be home soon." Between the sound of the monitor and his own fitting hela, Azmi begins to hear the sound of Muezza's suffocating sobs.

It was as if there was a stab of a sharp object right at his heart.

"Dad's son don't cry!" prevent Azmi from bothering to raise her hand to touch her son's cheek.

"Mue apologise ... Mue promised not to refute the words of Father and Mother. Mue also promises to be a good brother to Alif and Juwi. So, I need to get home!"

Azmi nodded weakly, then slowly stretched out her hand to rub Rahma's cheeks and also the muezza. How could Azmi not love to die with the woman on her left?

"I'm sorry too, Mom. I'm sorry I can't be the woman you're expecting." Rahma gently stroked the back of her husband's hand.

"I want you to heal. Come on, let's go to our favorite place first. I promise I'll be by your side! You hear Mas?"

Azmi nodded again this time accompanied by a thin smile that she painstakingly showed. His whole body was in tremendous pain. His head, chest and legs had almost no slits. At that moment Azmi felt Rahma's palm rubbing her hair softly and soothingly, for the umpteenth time she felt how the hand touched lovingly. For a moment, Azmi felt whole.

"Sister! It's Alif's, balikin's not!" Suddenly the sound of Alif's cry sounded out of nowhere.

Instead of the heavy sound after moving ABG, which Azmi heard precisely the voice of Alif many years ago. Little debate in the past that Azmi currently sees, Alif's funny behavior when learning to read and the laughter of the second child makes him smile.

suddenly Azmi was made dazed no wind no rain she was already in the house that she saw was not concentrated rainy night but the cold drizzle in the orange sky she was no longer in place where should he lie, but the wooden chair on the porch of the house sat together with grandfather like the previous afternoons. For a moment Azmi dropped her tears. Impossible, but his real grandfather figure is there wrapped in sarong and singlet. Sipping nicotine with the aroma of fried bananas and a cup of tea, grandfather seemed to dwell long staring at the drops of water that fell from the corner of the house.

"Grandfather?"

Grandfather finally turned his head with a big, annoying smile.

again Azmi was dumbstruck, she could not believe what she was seeing at the moment. However, his lips again called Babul Gani.

"Grandfather?"

"why? surprised the leg's here?"

Azmi nodded with a dazed look while grandfather started to move what sounded funny but real brother laughed out loud.

"Do you remember what Grandpa's message was?"

Azmi nodded right as grandfather dropped the cigarette butt into the ashtray.

"life is like the path we have to pass, in the end we will stop walking and get to the destination. In this long journey, there are many things we have to do. There are some obstacles that we have to go through. That trip leaves us with two choices, you want to leave a scented trail or a foul trail that hurts so many people?"

Azmi listened to the words of the grandfather without a sound. He was just busy staring at the face of the grandfather he had longed for.

"Therefore grandfather always tried to store the most fragrant perfume. Every time grandfather passed them on the way, all they smelled was a fragrance they never forgot. Even though grandfather had walked away from that place." Babul Gani's grandfather smiled with teeth that seemed to live 3 in front.

"Can Azmi be like Grandpa?"

"Related?" ask Grandpa to make sure.

"So like Grandpa, it has the most fragrant trace."

"Leaving that trail means you're gone" he said with a chuckle.

Muezza's father was confused, but he tried to understand his grandfather's intention to take care of him since childhood.

"To a very distant place, if you want to leave a trace of the fragrance."

Azmi flinched for quite a while, to the point that she started to notice. This was not the old house he lived in, but rather the claustophobic room where he lay.

I don't know what made the man unaware, but in this room not only Azmi stayed. There was Alif who was hugging his feet with a nano cry. While Muezza stood not far from Alun, biting her lips in a bated cry.

On her left was the voice of Rahma calling out her husband's name. Asking to consciously remember the Creator, while on his right was Tente Gina rubbing her cheek.

The woman either whispered what, Azmi only heard the roar of the ground and the shrill in her pair of ears. However, at that time he still felt Muezza's warm hand tightly grasping his left hand.

The girl's eyes were staring at her with the same blank look that Aunt Gina was currently doing. Rahma was still crying loudly beside Azmi, saying repeatedly so that her husband would not leave her.

Tonight Azmi wants to say many things to them one by one. How Azmi loves with all her heart. How Azmi feels grateful has been the most important part of their life especially the life of Rahma—sang wife.

Azmi wanted to say a thousand apologies that had not been spoken, but her lips were weak. Then, no matter what happened, he sat back on the porch of his grandfather's old house.

Grandpa was no longer there. Tea glasses have also been toilet since when. The cold grabbed him slowly, until it felt Azmi shivering, then with a quick step Azmi ran into the house.

However, it was a pity that the door was locked tightly. Azmi was unable to open it even though she had already tried her hardest.

"Grandfather! Open the door Azmi wants to come in!" However, there is no answer at all.

"Sister Gina!" yelled Azmi at that moment, but there was no one in the old house.

Really tired Azmi at this moment, repeatedly she shouted no one opened the door.

"Frian? Afrianto! Open door! I want to come in!"

Then there was a voice coming from within, a hoarse voice belonging to Afrianto.

"It can't be opened, Mom!"

Then, suddenly the sad face of Aunt Gina appeared from the window blemish.

"Read the prayer first, and then you can come in."

Azmi thought about what prayer she should read.

"What prayers are you?" asked Azmi confusedly.

The woman did not answer, but her tears slowly wet her cheeks. Azmi was astonished.

"What did he pray for?"

"Tahlil Deck."

"Tahlil?"

Like a fool who never taught, Azmi forgot how tahlil sounds?

"Where's the reading?" yelled Azmi from outside.

Gina me no untun Azmi to say the tahlil sentence she asked for. Just as Azmi screamed in excitement, her grandfather's door opened wide and she greeted him with a warm hug.

"You ready?"

Azmi who was originally excited now looked back, the faces of the two children and his wife were very sad, as if not willing to take the path Azmi took.

The steady decision now turned a dilemma, he wanted to be like his Grandfather. However, she could not bear to see the family crying out to her name.