Not my Man
Certainty in Dreams

“Arun ...”

The hard slap landed right on Alun's left cheek.

“Enough!” roberto snapped with glaring eyes.

No more voices of debate there are only the sound of footsteps of Intan and Roberto who pulled the stairs.

When the two men reached his room, Roberto took a routine drug that his wife drank.

“You already know?” tanya Intan slowly.

Her husband's forehead frowned, as if he did not want to answer the wife's question.

“I guessed it, what a bad luck I have. You always keep big things from me,” complained Intan with tears that never dry.

“You don't misunderstand me. Listen to my explanation!” roberto said, holding Intan's hand.

“What ... what should I hear?” Raising the head with a weakened eye.

“That you conspired to lie to me! Or are you the one who told my son to make this decision? Answer me Roberto Carlos!” The sound of Intan filling the room.

“I will answer all your questions, but you must be quiet and understand all these words of yours!” Roberto Pinta.

Intan was silent and listened intently to the explanation of her son's decision.

Before Alun actually converted to Islam, he talked a lot to his father. The man also asked for the opinion of all the worries of his heart.

“If, one day Alun takes a big decision ... will Papi support?” Raising his head looked at the confused face of the father.

“What do you want to decide so that papi should support you?” Roberto simply asked questions without allowing his views.

“For the past few months. Alun dreamed about one thing and it made Alun worried, every night Alun tried to wake up so as not to dream about it again.”

From the story, Roberto stops his fingers dancing on a laptop keyboard.

“What dream is it? Why are you afraid of sleeping flowers? If the dream repeats itself, it is just a coincidence,”, Roberto told the story of his son.

At first glance Alun agreed with the father, but his logic did not accept the statement so he denied it.

“It's not that simple, Pi. It's another dream and Alun believes it's an omen,” kilahnya with a face that looks worried.

“What sign? You don't believe in superstitions!” rebut Roberto who seems disturbed by his son.

As minutes passed with different opinions, Roberto finally relented and heard all the stories of Alun's dreams. The man in a small plaid shirt closed his laptop and looked seriously at the child's face.

“It's not true Alun. Do not make dreams as your foundation to take this big decision,” said Roberto gave understanding.

“Im sorry Alun, Pi. Alun believed that this was a clue from Him. If not ... how could Alun dream of the same thing over and over again during this time? Please support the decision of Alun, Pi. Only Papi hopes Alun the only one,” break it firmly.

Satisfied Roberto has prevented and gave more understanding. He felt he had to give freedom to his son's wishes, but he also gave conditions to his eldest son.

“Papi support all your decisions, but remember! Don't ever play religion!”

A smile rose on Alun's lips. He really did not expect that his papi gave permission this fast, he thought that his wish would be opposed.

Such was the agreement and afterwards Roberto always gave way to his son to avoid all Christian activities. This is not a story of man exploring all religions or a story of man explaining other religions, every man has different desires and goals in his life.

**

“Am I just a shadow here? What do I think is unimportant?” yelled Intan while crying.

The guilty Roberto hugged his loving wife.

“I'm sorry! That's not what we mean,” said Roberto Carlos.

“Then what?”

The sound of Intan's scream echoed and reached the ground floor.

“It's all your fault, Bang!” tuding Laras did not accept this situation.

Worry and anxiety enveloped Alun's heart. He really didn't know what to do, which he was very, very sorry about. Not sorry because he had moved his faith, he regretted hurting his mother.

Intan has a soft heart, but if he is lied to. His soft heart turned into coals of fire that were ready to burn anyone.

Alun's eyelids were closed and with great courage he set his feet on every step of the stairs that led him to the second floor. His anxiety was pressed very strongly to subside, knocking on the door that ran through Intan's eardrum and Roberto made the couple allow their views.

“Mam, this is Alun. Can Alun be in?” The voice of his eldest son was behind the door.

His heart wanted his son in, but the disappointment arose and ordered him to be selfish.

Roberto, who could not bear to open the door, let his son into this big room.

“You want to add to this wound, heum?”

“Not so, the arrival of Alun here just want to say goodbye.” The speech was able to make Intan scream in her cries.

“What a heart you have! I'm your mother, Alun! Don't you have any pity for me?” berondong Intan with his sobs.

Like male males in general, Alun stepped forward to approach the mother. Hugged tightly Intan's body, seen the motion of his lips. I don't know what she whispered to Intan's ear, which obviously the woman nodded with a slightly eased sobbing.

***

On a quiet night Muezza sat on his father's thermal cot. Wishingfully he looked at the moon that was shining dimly, like the image of his heart at this moment.

That stern gaze turned into a sad gaze harboring a sense of loss of a very meaningful person in his life.

“Why did dad leave us? Can't you wait a minute? A little more Mue's going to college, Dad. Where dad studied first,” he said lirih.

The chocolate bead shed tears. His weeping was heart-wrenching, half his soul seemed to disappear when his father's body was buried.

The sobs that were not so audible at first, are now getting louder.

“Why are you crying? Wasn't that time you promised to be the most powerful person when looking after this family.” The figure was standing not far from him.

Of course, Muezza raised his head to look at someone's face. With a stammering word Muezza asked.

“This really happened?” ask the girl with retarded eyes without a blink.

The man smiled and asked something else.

“Who do you think I am?”

“T-no this is impossible!” deny Muezza with a loud voice so that it can be heard inside the house.

Rahma throws her blanket in any direction. That small step threw away some useless steps, the intention and perseverance had already become one in the chest. He really did not want to repeat the same mistake