Not the Perfect Wife
1. Remind promises
I'm a housewife who is busy with taking care of my daughter. The child who just moved to the age of 2 years, I who only graduated from High School can not get a good job.
the days I spent were hard, because I only lived with my son, while my husband worked out of town, and his job required him to come home once a year.
sometimes I feel lonely, when I need a place to share, to tell stories..
unfortunately, my husband is very busy with his work.
I'm grateful that he's a hard worker, but I need him too.
I have to bury everything, whether it's my heart or something else.
to the point where my husband could not go home in the long run, this heart felt tight and sometimes breathing was not able.
every call I wanted to tell him, but this heart was always held back when I saw his tired face.
I try not to make him angry or uncomfortable, but still I can't. I'm always the reason why he's always emotional or uncomfortable.
sometimes I curse myself who can't be the best for my husband, so he's always uncomfortable talking to me.
at this moment my heart was eager to scream that I needed it too, but it just reached my brain and couldn't get out of my mouth.
to the point that what I think of myself is that I'm a woman who doesn't know myself, who doesn't have any talent to be proud of.
when I ventured to the cream of the WhatsApp message that I missed, this heart was again sliced when he just looked at it and did not respond to anything.
my tears fell without excuse, and they were even very hard on my cheeks.
am I not worthy of him??
that's what I say to the LORD every night, but I was confused by God's way, why he grew such a deep affection, that even I could not turn away from him.
if I can choose, I want not to meet him, want not to know him what else until I have to love him.
toxic..have really been toxic in our relationship, I survived for my son who I love very much.I was born for nine months, passing various trimesters by myself.
we were always LDRs until our son was born.
when I was going to give birth I was alone, when I felt pain like I wanted to break a bone.
I bit my lip withholding pain, because my husband could not go home quickly and I was just accompanied by the family of my husband.
when I needed him so much, he couldn't because of the circumstances.
is that a sign that I'm not for her??
I hid it deep in my heart, because this affection was bigger than my regret.
I don't know what God meant to give this feeling to me, which I must have always missed even though this rebellious heart didn't want to.
now all I hope is that he can see me and his faithful son waiting for him to come home.