Please don't read that
Chapters. 20
The two of them finally decided to return to Zhengzhou. Li Yuan left with Xi Yang.
Madam Xi escorted them to the train station which was quite far away from the village where they lived.
"Little Xi, don't forget to take care of your health there. I'll visit you once in a while if I can ..."
His mother only gave advice before the departure of her beloved son.
"I should have told that to Mom. Take good care of your health."
XI Yang kissed his mother then turned to Li Yuan who was standing next to him with a smile.
"Aunt ... no need to worry about Yang'er. I'll make sure my stupid student takes good care of himself."
Li Yuan smiled at Mrs. XI.
"Sorry to trouble you, Little Li ..."
Li Yuan simply shook his head gently.
"No. I don't mind about that."
Xi Yang only sighed in relief that Li Yuan had little understanding that his mother was not worried about him anymore.
"Then Mother, we're leaving."
"Be careful..."
Li Yuan and Xi Yang boarded the carriage to Zhengzhou.
***
On top of the train cabin.
"Yang´er ... You previously said something about betraying you .. Can you tell your teacher this about it. What the hell is going on?"
Li Yuan looked at XI Yang attentively.
Xi Yang was silent. He looked out the window where he saw a beautiful sight. The atmosphere of the Shincuan region was surrounded by many trees and mountains.
"Actually, I want to keep this a secret from you, Sensei ..." he muttered. He seemed to want Li Yuan to know nothing about the betrayal and infidelity he felt..
Li Yuan shook his head slowly. He was curious, so he did not want Xi Yang to make the things that were inherent in his mind a secret to him.
"I want to hear it. Even if you keep it a secret .."
Xi Yang sighed before saying everything.
"Chu Yana has betrayed me ..." He whispered but his expression seemed to harbor a lot of anger.
Li Yuan was quite jolted at hearing that.
"She was having an affair with Yang Jie .. It was very painful." Xi Yang bit the edge of his lips, there was blood dripping.
It spread anger over everything he felt.
Li Yuan looked down. He doesn't know what to say. He was just an observer of the relationship between the two people.
"Very funny isn't it, Sensei?"
Xi Yang made fun of himself.
He's been too naive and stupid all along.
A friendship? Loyalty? Of love? It was all just a lie that could not guarantee anyone to be loyal.
That is the real human relationship.
It's all a delusion to prove that people have to pay dearly for that delusion.
"I believe his love as pure .. I don't consider it wrong at all ... But she slept with Yang Jie like a bitch? The innocence of his words, but, I only saw them as just two beasts. "
"I don't think at all, the person I consider a best friend has been playing crazy (having sex) and messing with my boyfriend all this time. Even if it's all just pretending. "
Li Yuan looked at empathy and compassion for Xi Yang. He had done the same, chanting the person who loved him until the betrayal he committed had to be paid for with the death of that person.
He wanted to curse, but he didn't deserve to do that.
In the past he was also a traitor.
A traitor who laughs at a traitor?
That's a funny thing.
"Then sensei ... I've told you the truth ... do you want to laugh at me?"
Xi Yang looked at Li Yuan.
Li Yuan saw and felt his expression blank; it was a void in humans.
"I won't laugh at you .. I won't blame you .. I'm just a little embarrassed of myself .. I've done the same to people who love me ... so I don't deserve to be angry, sympathetic or anything. "
"I just want to tell you that it is an actual human being.There is no perfection in its possession, whether it is love or friendship. It's fake, all that can be thrown away just like that ..."
"Then what are you going to do, Yanger?"
The atmosphere on the train was so quiet.
It was as if words would make everything change like the silence of the night.
"I am .. I am still a human being .. every human being will not forget that, all their betrayals. I'll repay what they've given me."
Li Yuan only looked pity. He regretted they had betrayed the man, and he regretted that revenge had eaten him.
"You've been eaten by revenge .. You'd better think about it one more time."
"Ha haha .. I don't mind being eaten up by revenge, it's worth more than all the falsehood that exists right now."
He smiled, a smile like total surrender to what he had done.
***
I smiled
I laughed
I'm very happy
That hatred I brought to them
It's the most beautiful thing
It was beautiful when they cried, screamed, and regretted.
I sympathize with them
But I don't cry about it
Because I live from hatred.