Sharing Love: Complicated Love
CHAPTER 48. Self-Hiddenness

THE POV ON EVE

I saw Bee's bodyguard who was always listening to my story.

In my heart I said that whether he believed or not in what I told him.

I admit I told you not completely I told you everything there is still something I hide and keep secret.

But, I felt a little relieved and felt that my burden was slightly lifted.

I recalled Tala's words back then, "don't hold your feelings and your thoughts tell me that your soul will be relieved."

I smiled again when I remembered how much he cared about me even though I didn't care about him much.

Besides being considerate she was very understanding and very mature although I kept getting her hurt by seeking a lot of attention out there.

I smiled in remembrance of the fact that I was so selfish to him. Too greedy for attention I want to get more.

The beauty, the poignancy and the intelligence that I have hold me in high regard because I have so many fans and they always give me a gift or something to show my admiration for.

Not infrequently when I was dating him Tala would lose his existence but somehow I felt happy because he was so dependent on me.

The reason I received so much attention and served them was because I wanted to show him that he should not leave me whatever I did because if he left me or gave up then there would be many will replace him let alone he is very dependent on me

Don't I look so selfish. "Miss." Call Bee's bodyguard to make my daydreams of the past crumble.

"Don't daydream much less Miss sometimes smiles and sometimes flat." Said to me.

"I don't know what to react to and say but I certainly understand that it's not easy for everyone to get through." Bee's bodyguards tried to comfort me but in my heart there was still something stuck because I didn't speak honestly and completely to him.

There is a deep guilt in my heart but I keep it because telling stories like this I think long of anyone let alone my personality that is not easily close to people.

Maybe it's a bit cliche actually I'm afraid of making friends or hanging out. I'm afraid that I'll feel so comfortable and consider them friends when they find out that I'm a pick-up boy and worse that they know me...

I am not strong to say it but for sure this happened because I was too much to hold and hold.

I was afraid that if they knew that they would stay away from me and leave me or worse they would spread everything that could make everyone stay away from me.

Said to be a pick-up child until now both ears still hear wherever I am even though it is now reduced because wherever I go there are always guards who will guard.

After all, I rarely leave the mansion other than to work. My schedule has been monotonous since I graduated from SHS.

Because no friend would invite me to just go for a walk because they already know that I was just a pick-up boy.

Somehow they knew but I never told anyone.

I don't want to think badly that the one who spread the news is Harsha as she already is.

Especially at that time I was mourning the death of my adoptive parents. My life turned 360 degrees.

"Thank you for hearing my boring story." I said sincerely to Bee's bodyguard.

"Miss need not thank. It is precisely I who must thank you that Miss trusts me to hear the story from Miss." His word.

"Miss don't think about too much. As long as Miss knows that Miss is amazing and everyone wants to be like Miss."

"The western miss is a complete package. Although Miss comes from a distinguished family but Miss is not arrogant and very elegant."

I can only smile before saying goodbye to rest in the room because honestly I feel tired when I slept long enough.

I don't seem to be sleeping but I'm drugged, I don't know who gave it to me because on my left arm I feel a little sore.

Moreover, I am not a person who sleeps long if not at night.

A lot of things stuck in my heart. I remembered again Bee's bodyguard said that I was not arrogant if only Bee's bodyguard knew that I used to be very arrogant and very selfish then Bee's bodyguard would not want to be close and talk to me he will keep your distance.

I am very inferior when it comes to relationships related to socialization because my words are already rooted in my subconscious.

I always pray to God that I am given strength again to face what I have experienced.

Especially now that I feel that my condition is not okay left by grandfather.

"Maybe he brought me here for being too sick to see my face." My tears were seeping again on the blue pillowcase when I remembered what Tala said.

'Killer'

Not just from Tala but from her cousin Geya and also aunt Tala.

It's so bad it seems like I need medicine especially I can't sleep now the clock has shown at 3 am.

Actually, it's only natural that I can't sleep seeing that I've been sleeping for a long time due to the drugs given.

I spread this eye around the room carefully every interior there is.

I feel weird for some reason, "I miss papa." Papa is my favorite panda doll given by someone special.

But, the doll is not here the doll is in the L country where the apartment where I lived during my education and work there.

Only the doll can calm me down. The doll is where I pour out everything that is in my mind and heart.

When the heart is restless and the mind starts to fidget I always do it with the Panda doll I named Papa.

There's a reason why I gave her the name Papa because she was a single mother who took care of her child alone when someone bought her.

I was annoyed to see the man who gave firmly separated Papa from his son whom I named Hipa.

"You hold Papa I hold Hipa." Said the man and I who heard him staring intently.

"Let you always remember me. If I'm not around then you can vanish and tell Papa everything." His word.

The words of that special man did not enter my logic so I left him with Papa to come home with me.

I also accidentally separated the mother and child panda.

It turns out that here I am the cruel one if he just says it while I act.

My tears trickled again remembering every memory for the sake of those memories. Maybe now Hya has been dumped.

My heart is deeply saddened how Hipa will seek Papa while the two human children separate them because of their selfishness.

And those are me and him. But, in the depths of this heart I still believe that he still keeps it and I don't know where.

I opened my eyes slowly and unknowingly last night I fell asleep tired of crying.

I saw the clock on the wall of the room was already half nine.

Immediately I got up and made the bed and took a shower.

This feeling was always empty and this heart was numb to the sight there was no soul.

The second day I was here I couldn't do anything because my phone wasn't in my hands.

Ever since I woke up the day I first came here I haven't seen my phone.

Even the phone in this apartment was no longer there like the first time I came I remembered clearly.

I recalled what Bee's bodyguard said before I went back to the room.

"Don't think too much about what the young master is doing. Trust Miss that the young master already loves Miss."

But, what I see and feel is still very far if it used to be yes but if now it is not.

Now he hates me so much. These lips smiled wryly remembering that word of hate.

I've said it's not that I'm very inferior especially in interpersonal relationships.

A lot of fear comes to mind when I want to have social interactions.

The fear of the bad memories of the past made me not dare to go any further.

Honestly, I was so lonely, there were no friends I could invite to go together just to unwind and no friends to take me away.

When I see friends at school first on their personal accounts that discuss friendship and friendship until now still intertwined I feel inferior.

I was ostracized, I was banished, I was a pick-up boy, I was a killer, and I was unwanted but I was used to it.

THE POV OFF EVE

Tala who was in the mansion had been held repeatedly by a question from Adya who asked where Eve was.

"Where are you hiding Eve?" Ask Adya for the umpteenth time.

Tala did not criticize him because Tala had answered questions from Adya.

"The thing where you hid Eve." Adya said with annoyance.

Tala looked at Adya who was holding back the emotion and walked closer. "Don't be angry remember your health condition I don't want your health to decline. Don't think about Eve just think about your health."

"I told you I don't know. If you keep asking where Eve is and thinking about her so that your condition drops again then I'll hate Eve even more." Tala.

Adya looked at Tala with a deeply hurt look at Tala's attitude of not paying attention to Eve and not caring.

"Man is the wrong place and God always forgives him. I don't want to see your face in front of me so don't show up." Adya said then immediately turned around using her wheelchair.

"Look even the older brother spoke disrespectfully towards his own husband for thinking too much about others."

Adya stopped her wheelchair. "You don't respect Eve either." Adya knows that Adya is very wrong to have denied and opposed Tala as her husband.

But, Tala's behavior has been very outrageous according to Adya. Adya does not want Tala to take the wrong path and regret later on but Tala's eyes and heart are very closed if it pertains to Eve.

"You know how important Eve is to me, but you kept her away from me. I pray to God that I take his life quickly." Adya.

"Sister." Tala cried wrath at Adya when she heard the unseemly words that came out of Adya's mouth.

Tala's loud voice was fortunately not heard because Adya's room was soundproofed

"Don't say that you know speech is prayer so don't talk carelessly." Tala said gently while squatting in front of Adya who was throwing her face when Tala squatted in front of her wheelchair.

"Alright I'll bring him back here but not for now. Please brother don't argue even though brother's older than me but here I am brother's husband." Tala said then immediately left Adya's room after having kissed Adya's hand.

Adya shed her tears after Tala left her room.

"God strengthen Eve and give Eve happiness as soon as possible." Adya's Prayer to Eve.

"You have enough to give difficulty to the complexity of the way of life he is living now give Eve happiness. If Eve is happy with parting then make them separate as soon as possible. I can't see Eve like this."

"I was wrong and selfish for forcing my will to make them come together like they used to."

"I don't care if Tala regrets losing Eve. He's already severely tortured Eve's soul."

*Connected*