Sharing Love: Complicated Love
CHAPTER 81. Guilt Gnaws

After talking to Adya about the past that little by little opened up, Eve's mind became confused.

Eve feels that she is the cause of problems with the lives of others.

No tears came out from Eve's two beautiful eyes, everything became so complicated now.

Eve no longer wants to think about attention, affection even her name is love for herself Eve herself will never be able to get it.

Feeling inappropriate because there is himself makes the lives of others become damaged if he gets the attention and affection of those around him.

Eve's decision to divorce Tala is getting stronger because what dominates is a sense of inferiority in Eve.

Eve is not confident, not okay but Eve must try hard for the sake of those around her at least by being a doctor herself can help many people.

“Now I know why everyone hates me because of me.” Eve said in her mind as she looked at the scene in front of her through the hospital rooftoftoftop.

Eve is now sitting while enjoying the wind that blows and hits her body at this time Eve wants to calm herself.

“Maybe that's the reason why I was and was left in the parlour because I was just a troublemaker.” Benak Eve said.

“I'm so troublesome to everyone, I'm so selfish, I deserve to be unhappy.” Negative thoughts continued to rage inside Eve's mind.

Eve now just wants to live alone away from the crowds and those around her who recognize her.

Releasing his last name given by his two deceased adoptive parents, relinquishing his hard-earned title, giving up the job he loves so much by saving people, relinquishing his first and last love.

Start from a simpler life without straining or bothering others anymore. “I'm sorry Adya's sister, mother, father I can't survive not because of anyone else but because I deserve it.”

While in Adya's ward, Adya is now pensive in her sleeping position. Adya is not talking about anything.

Just like Eve Adya felt guilty because she told me a little bit of the past. Adya does not know whether her decision to tell this whether or not it has a good impact on Eve's marriage to Tala.

Although Adya does not force Eve to not divorce Tala in accordance with the agreement that has been made by Tala at the beginning of the marriage.

However, in the depths of his heart Adya wants Eve and Tala to stay together forever. Adya wants after she is gone in this world the two people who she already considers as her son will live a family have children and happy with their marriage.

At least this is what Adya can do to return the favor for what God has given her because given the opportunity to start again.

By having felt severe depression until he committed suicide because of the abortion done. Guilt for the 7 children he conceived and then with his inhumanity he even killed seven children.

Until finally he had to suffer from a terrible disease of uterine cancer. Adya resigned to what had happened and Adya felt grateful at least there are people around her who still care about her who have a bad past.

Everyone certainly has a past and wants people in the present and in the future to be able to accept themselves as they are without bringing up the past.

The past there must be things that do not want to be remembered of course and there are things that want to be remembered forever all depending on the thoughts of the person himself.

Adya learns a lot from the simplicity and humility of Dhara's mother, Davka's father, and also Tala who accepts her regardless of her bad past.

Though they know clearly how Adya in the past who steadfastly killed a baby in the womb who did not know anything because of his stupidity trapped with the word love.

Adya closed her eyes all has passed to regret it will not be useful even though having a lot of money will not be able to change the name of the past.

Adya wants to give her best and do good things for the happiness of her loved ones. Dhara's mother, Davka's father, and Tala and Eve.

“What are you thinking Eve?” Ask the doctor Raka who came to Eve at the hospital rooftoftoft.

Eve just turned her head to look at Doctor Raka. Eve didn't want to think more about how Raka's doctor knew she was here because everyone could have come in here. This is a public place not a special place like your own.

Rooftoftoft with a beautiful view both below and around it coupled with the wind blowing and the bench that was deliberately placed here for those who like this kind of thing can enjoy it freely.

Doctor Raka sat next to Eve who was looking ahead. Doctor Raka was curious as to what Eve was thinking.

However, it seems that Eve does not want to share it as Raka's doctor knows that Eve is very closed.

“You know the story about the garbage can.” Said doctor Raka who started the conversation, Eve just turned to look at doctor Raka in silence.

Doctor Raka smiled at Eve, “bag garbage if used more and more days will be full and closed will explode so it must be immediately discarded so as not to smell, so it is not, and many diseases that can at any time attack the owner of the garbage can if not thrown away.”

Eve took her eyes off the doctor Raka. Eve understood and understood what the doctor said to her.

Doctor Raka wants that Eve must tell all her complaints to people, but the problem is in Eve. Eve's strange thoughts because of the problems that occur and assume that she is the cause of the problem make Eve think that she deserves to get the problem and by not telling it to people is the right thing to do make himself tormented.

“So also with humans if his mind is too piled up with negative or bad things it will become a disease for humans themselves.” Doctor Raka said.

Eve smiled wryly hearing it, “then with that I deserve it.” Say Eve.

Doctor Raka was surprised by the answer given by Eve related to what she said earlier. Sighing his breath long that's what doctor Raka did.

“If other people do not love and love us then only we can love and love us. Do you believe in that Eve?” Doctor Raka tried another way.

“But, I don't want.” Doctor Raka who heard it also felt the pain that was inside Eve. Why Eve's thinking like that was so complicated.

“I don't know what makes you so secretive. Of all the people I've met, you're the only one I can't read and understand Eve. There is a very big and high wall even though we are both friends.”

Eve just smiled and heard it. “Don't put yourself down too much Eve, you should be able to love and love yourself if you can't trust everyone. I'm so sad to see you like this and as a friend I feel useless.”

Eve stared at the Raka doctor when she heard the last sentence from the Raka doctor. “See even with me being quiet just makes people around me suffer.” Eve muttered involuntarily.

Doctor Raka who was beside Eve scrunched her forehead hearing Eve's words. “Do not say like that Eve.” Said doctor Raka softly also staring at Eve who was staring blankly.

Eve smiles at Raka's doctor, but Raka's doctor feels that the smile shown by Eve is very forced.

“How deep was the wound in the past that it made you like this Eve.” Raka's doctor said in her mind.

Circumstances between Eve and doctor Raka are silent they are both busy with their respective thoughts.

Doctor Raka had tried to invite Eve to talk and tried to make Eve just comfortable but it seemed like her efforts today were in vain.

Eve's physical condition does look fine but her mentality is not good.

“Eve can I ask?” Ask the doctor Raka and Eve nods her head to let the doctor Raka ask her.

Although at this time Eve's mind is everywhere but Eve still responds only at this time Eve is too lazy to talk.

“Do you consider me a friend?” Eve who heard him smile, now Eve has completely understood from the past told by Adya earlier to him.

Eve looked towards Raka's doctor with her inner gaze, while the doctor Raka who saw Eve smiled sincerely at him with her eyes that looked inside instead of the blank look that Eve gave to doctor Raka.

“In the world of psychology there is no friendship between men and women. Now I also understand that in the real world so does nothing.” Said Eve shaking her head.

Doctor Raka became tense to hear the words Eve, “what is that because even though we are friends there is still a big wall?” Eve nodded her head and looked back forward.

Doctor Raka became lethargic so Eve had known about her feelings. “Kak Raka, I will call you brother Raka always.”

The second look turned his head, “care women who are better, better understand and make Raka's brother feel comfortable. There are many out there.” Eve said with a sincere smile.

“Can't I have this taste?” Ask Dr. Raka with a wistful.

Eve shook her head and smiled, “it is not wrong if it is a single woman as well as a married woman. We can't control it no, but I don't allow Raka.”

Eve let out a long sigh, “ physical excess given by God to me of course I feel grateful but with a physical that people think is perfect is a problem for me. I became arrogant and thirsty for attention and affection.” Said Eve miris.

“Now I reap with what I did first, but I beg brother Raka please throw away the feeling that I am married I will never be able to repay that feeling forever.” Say Eve.

“Although later after you divorce do I also have no chance.” Said doctor Raka softly staring at Eve grimly.

It turns out this is how it feels to be heartbroken because of feelings of rejection by people who make us fall in love. If so how many hearts he had hurt when he used to love to play the feelings of women.

Eve is of course surprised by what Raka's doctor has to say about her divorce from Tala. “Even if I am divorced or not, Raka must not let the feeling grow and develop if the woman is me or to another married woman.”

Eve rose from her seat Eve felt that she had calmed down for a long time at the rooftoftoftop leaving Adya in her nursery later what if Tala looked for her because she was not on Adya's side.

“I go pity brother Adya lonely later.” Pamit Eve's.

As Eve turned her back her eyes Eve stared at a man with white skin and his towering tall body was staring at her.

Doctor Raka who saw Eve speechless by looking forward like something made Raka doctor turn her body and it turns out there was a husband of a woman who made her fall in love for the first time.

*Connected*